Fun with Sitemeter...

I am the Number One hit for "Corolla Snake". I am not making this up...

I can only hope that "Snake" is a package put out by Toyota for their compact line.

And not someone's odd sexual fetish for their riceburner...

That is all.

Friday Gun Pr0n #35

Alternate Title: Das Cannon...

Here's a big'un: A Smith & Wesson model 629 .44 Magnum.

It's got a ported 6" barrel with a full lug. The extra weight helps tame the recoil of the .44 Magnum round, which had caused the Model 29 (the 629's predecessor) to be called the "most powerful handgun in the world" in the first Dirty Harry movie...

It's a damn shame that factory .44 Magnum loads are running upwards of $35/box of 50 rounds these days. This gun is such a sweet shooter, but the cost of ammo makes it prohibitively expensive for this non-reloader...

Rocketing to the Top of My Xmas List...

...is this amazing device:

Just the name alone gets it a spot on my list.

(Click the bunny, BTW... )

I just hope Santa doesn't talk to The Great Pumpkin, 'cuz if he does I'm on the "Naughty List" until 2068...

(H/T to Ahab for bringing this wondrous tool to my attention...)

While I'm Braggin' On My Kids...

...I just HAD to put this picture up. I am so proud of my Cub Scout I could burst:



Here's my son, right after getting his Bobcat badge at our Pack Meeting on Monday. Damn I'm proud of my boy...

That is all.

Daddy-Daughter Day Live Blogging, Part I

So far, the score in the Elmo Sports World Series is Daddy: 1, Lisa: 3.

Things look bad for Daddy. But there's still time to turn things around. Besides, the trampoline competition is Lisa's weak spot.

That is all...

For Want of a Cork...

...a sick day was lost...

(And, the award for most confusing post title goes to...)

Gonna be taking tomorrow off to tend to my little girl. She caught some sort of GI bug, and spent most of the afternoon in and out of the bathroom. Since it started while she was at school/daycare, they know about it and she has to remain out for 24 hours until it's out of her system. And since I have one more sick day to use up before the end of the month, I get to stay home to tend to the sickie.

Oh yeah, I'm just all torn up about this one:

*Not costing me anything, work-wise, as our sick/personal time ends Nov. 30th and we can only carry over a fixed amount of time (which I have).

*Get to spend the whole day with Daddy's little princess, who is "sick" in the "can't go to school/daycare sense but not "sick" in the "feels like crap and makes me worry" sense.

I foresee much "My Little Pony" videos in my future. Well, there may be some sacrifices on my part...

Blogroll Addition...

Folks, I'd like you to welcome Swamp Yankee of Upland Feathers fame to the blogroll. He took the highly unorthodox method of e-mailing me to let me know he wanted to add MArooned to his blogroll and to ask me to do the same...

So go, read. He's got significantly more serious material than blasting punkins into tiny bits, but it's all good...

Time Marches On...

Was just thinking this morning, as I flipped through radio stations trying to avoid Christmas music...

Remember this time of year when you were a kid? Remember the excitement you felt in the few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas?

Remember how it seemed to take FOREVER for those few weeks to pass?

Now... Now it's like, Holy SHIT, Christmas is less than four weeks away...

I miss that excitement.

But I've got kids. It's the next best thing...

Gun Pr0n Not of My Making...

New Jovian Thunderbolt has a new pocket rocket. Very sweet. That same gun in .32 ACP (just 'cuz I don't have anything in that caliber) is on my wish list...

In A Scant Dozen or So Years...

This is going up on the front door of the G. house:

Figure that oughta buy me a couple of years at least...

(Can y'all tell I love this picture? *g*)

Be Vewwy, Vewwy Qwiet...

I's huntin' punkins...

Saturday was the Northeastshooters forum Annual (I hope) Pumpkin shoot. We met at a member's range in central MA for a day of camaraderie, ogling and sharing of weaponry, and devastation of vegetation not normally seen outside the grounds of the Halliburton Weather Machine testing ground. Without further ado, I present:

The Great Pumpkin Massacre of 2007.

---

Stalking the elusive prey:

---

Setting out decoys:

---

Which one of those intrepid punkin hunters was your intrepid host? Here's a hint:

---

Here's our blind. Note the victims blissfully unaware of the gruesome fate about to befall them...

---

NOTE: The following picture is not for the squeamish. It shows the actual death of a pumpkin. If you, or any of your loved ones, are members of the gourd family, you may want to click away at this point:

(Yes, that is a Smith & Wesson 500 Magnum brutally executing a helpless pumpkin).

---

One last shot of the carnage:

So... much... pumpkinshed... Won't someone think of the seedlings?

---

All kidding aside, it was a fantastic time. Over 80 people attended the shoot, with $5 per person going to GOAL. Not a bad day's work.

Random note#1: I found the secret to getting lots of pictures taken of my ugly mug: Wear a silly hat. When I woke up Saturday morning, the thermometer read 19ºF. I went for function over form in a big way, and wound up with that very warm, but rather silly hat...

Random note#2: I really, really, really like the Saiga-20. I probably shot ~ 60 rounds of slugs through it, and it digested everything I put into it with gusto. I think it had a little trouble loading one of the slugs, and I may have caused that when I fucked up getting the magazine in the mag well... The biggest problem, after the price of the magazines, will be justifying the Saiga-12 to the Finance Committee (a.k.a. Mrs. G.)...

Random note#3: The forend pistol grip on the Winchester might cause Sarah Brady to soil her armor because it's scary looking, but it doesn't help with the recoil of a 3" magnum slug... I think it's time for a Hogue forend...

That is all...

Two Days Late!

I blame the tryptophan.

Here's last Friday's gun pr0n, two days late. Since I'm two days late, here's two guns:



There's my main WoPD (Weapons of Pumpkin Destruction) that I used at yesterday's Pumpkin Shoot (AAR tomorrow). A Saiga-20 (20 gauge) on top, a Winchester model 1300 12 gauge on bottom. Nothing says punkin pie like shotgun slugs...

Side note: The Saiga-20 is nice. Very nice. Will need a new stock, tho', as it kept driving my thumb into my nose with the recoil on 3" magnum slugs...

Call Off The Hounds...

I've managed to rouse myself from my tryptophan-induced coma. Much turkey was consumed. Much fun was had with family and friends.

Three more days off doesn't hurt, either...

Hope everyone else had a great Thanksgiving!

Serious Hardware...

This coming Saturday there's a "Pumpkin Shoot" organized by one of the nice members at Northeastshooters forum. The general idea is that a bunch of us get together, bring a bunch of leftover pumpkins, and shoot them into pulp. Sounds like a lot of fun in my book.

One of the neat bonuses is that it gives everyone a chance to show off their weaponry, as well as try out other folks' WOPD (Weapons of Pumpkin Destruction). Another neat bonus for me is that I'm going to get at least three, possibly four weeks' worth of Friday Gun Pics out of it...

So, what is Jay bringing to the Pumpkin shoot?

*VEPR .308
*Saiga 20 gauge
*Winchester model 1300 20 gauge
*Smith & Wesson Model 629 .44 Magnum†
*Ruger Security Six .357 Magnum
*Colt 1991A1†
*Smith & Wesson Model 360PD‡

Additionally, I am going to be looking at a Mosin Nagant Model M44 in the very manly 7.62X54mmR cartridge as a companion piece to my 91/30 that another member has for sale.

† Subject of a future Friday Gun pic
‡ I'm bringing this only because there will be plenty of hand cannons at the shoot - S&W model 500s, 460s, .480 Rugers, a Contender in .308, several .454 Casulls, etc. I have to bring SOMETHING that will hurt the shooter...

1,000 Words...

How do you make it all worthwhile?

Just get one of these, completely out of the blue:

This is what it's all about. This past Saturday I was putzing around in the office on the computer, when my son walks in, gives me a hug, and leaves this on the desk. Didn't say a word.

You couldn't have pried the smile off my face with a crowbar...

Ammo Day Haul...

I did my part for Ammo Day:

200 rounds of .357 Magnum
100 rounds of .45 ACP
50 rounds of 9mm JHP
45 rounds of 12 ga slugs
45 rounds of 20 ga slugs

Hope to pick up some .308 and .44 Magnum tomorrow or Wednesday... Gots me some pumpkins to send to Kingdom Come on Saturday...

WTF, Over?

Fucking people amaze me.

I just went into the Men's room at my company. On the counter in front of one of the sinks is a small pile of human (I presume) hair.

Someone, presumably an adult, decided that it was a good idea to walk into the Men's room and TRIM THEIR FUCKING HAIR. Not only that, but they just left it there on the damn counter rather than sweeping it off and putting it in the barrel that's all of five feet away.

WTF? I mean, we are adults, right? Am I expecting too much of my fellow man to not leave his own body parts just lying around?

That is all...

Ugh...

Monday.

Getting my ass kicked.

More later.

That is all.

File Under "P"...

...for "prescient" or "makes my ass pucker".


Police to search for guns in homes

Boston police are launching a program that will call upon
parents in high-crime neighborhoods to allow detectives into their homes,
without a warrant, to search for guns in their children's bedrooms.

(Emphasis mine)

What was that? It can't happen here? Open your eyes. It *is* happening. And for all my readers outside the Red Curtain (outside MA), take a long look. This is the fucking canary, folks. MA has among the strictest gun control laws in the nation, and yet the city of Boston is awash in gun violence. Sane and rational people know it's because the liberal judges operate on the "catch and release" principle, where violent criminals serve months, not years, for violent crimes.

It's only a matter of time before the Bloombergs get their way and MA- and NY- style gun control become the norm. Their accomplices in the media are making damn sure that guns are rapidly being phased out of popular culture. Reinforcements in the public education and health care field are interrogating kids without parents present and making life difficult for honest people. End result? Fewer gun owners, and fewer parents educating their kids about firearms.

Mark my words. Inside of two generations we will see Great Britain-like restrictions on our right to keep and bear arms. Fortunately, I'll be old enough that I won't care what happens to me when I resist...

PSA X 2

First off, the first day of National Ammo Week is tomorrow.

Go. Buy ammo. Lots of it. I've already started (200+ rounds of .38 special alone so far... Heck, I got 100 rounds of .32 ACP and I don't even own a gun chambered in it. Yet.)

Second, my good friend doubletrouble of Rattail Bastard fame was kind enough to point me to some special rebates from Winchester and Remington. It's premium ammo, but it's also a good rebate, so if'n you need some quality hunting rounds, git-r-done...

That is all.

Another Modest Proposal...

Forthwith, let it be proposed that:

*If such a vehicle approaches an intersection with a traffic light; and
*Traffic at said intersection is backed up into the actual intersection; and
*The light turns yellow;

*If Said vehicle continues into the intersection at the yellow light rather than stopping as common sense dictates; and
*Said vehicle proceeds to completely block said intersection such that no other traffic can pass;

Let it be proposed that it be completely legal to drag the driver of said vehicle out of the car and beat them senseless with a tire iron, baseball bat, or other heavy cudgel.

Actually killing the driver is frowned up, and will be punished as a misdemeanor offense.

That is all.

Friday Gun Pr0n

Today's gun is a SigSauer P232 in .380 ACP caliber. This is another take on the venerable Walther PPK introduced in 1931.

Interestingly enough, the "felt recoil" on this gun is worse than the Kel-Tec P3AT, even though this weighs quite a bit more. At least that's been my experience. It's still a sweet shooter, even given it's "back-up gun" size...

That is all.

One (Weird) Thing Leads to Another...

I was going to make my own snarky comment on the story I saw at Smijer & Buck's place about how Australia is banning Santa's trademark "ho ho ho" when I came across this gem:

Woman has 33-pound tumor removed

BEIJING - Chinese doctors operating on a woman with abdominal pain expected to find an inflamed appendix but discovered a football-sized 33-pound tumor instead, a Beijing daily reported on Thursday.

Surgeons at the capital's Chaoyang Dongba hospital spent 30 minutes removing the tumor from Xiao Wen's abdomen, the Beijing Times said. It measured 16 inches by 12 inches and is believed to have been benign.

That is, of course, benign except that it was larger than a toddler...

I can't resist the easy snark, though:

Her family had not noticed anything wrong with Xiao Wen's stomach as at 251 pounds, she was already "comparatively fat," the paper said.

Xiao Wen, whose weight ballooned after she developed a lymphatic disorder as a child, said before the operation that she hoped it "could help her lose weight."

Well, you just went from 251 pounds to 218 pounds. That's a start right there...

More Readin'...

Coupla new blogs to add to the blogroll:

1. Blue Water: News of My Escape, the home of Paul, the pirate. He's a "professional mariner" according to his profile, and details his life on the high seas. Plus he's a local boy who's planning on returning to the area (think NH, Paul!)...

2. The Ready Line, by Brent Greer, who uses the sure-fire trick of saying nice things about me to get on the blogroll (but we all really know that all you need to do is link me, right folks?!?!? Oh, and tell me about it...).

Go. Read. Give 'em a proper MArooned welcome...

My 2A Thoughts...

There seems to be a lot of introspection on the future of the Second Amendment floating around the blogosphere. Most of it centers around the Supreme Court's (non-) decision in Parker vs. D.C.

No sense in providing links to everyone - just take a gander at a good chunk of the blogroll. Plenty of thoughts out there; all of them good 'uns. Most, IMHO, are WAAAY too optimistic. So here's my decidely dour and "glass is half-empty" outlook.

In the "what would you do" corner, there's plenty of "cold, dead hands" talk. Which I don't doubt for a second; AAMOF, it's my personal mantra vis a vis confiscation. There are certain guns that will only leave my possession upon my demise. End of story.

But for the vast majority, I suspect confiscation would pan out exactly like it did in New Orleans: Orderly, door-to-fucking-door confiscation happened with nary a peep uttered against the jackbooted thugs sent to disarm the law-abiding.

We saw the New Orleans police force simply walk away. Some of the NO cops were caught on videotape looting Wal-Mart. They had to call in agencies from as far away as CA to come in and help restore some semblance of order to New Orleans.

And how did the powers-that-be decide to allocate the meager Law Enforcement resources? Two words: Patricia Konie. Burly CA state cops body-slamming a slight woman to the ground over her top-break .32. While looters were stealing anything that wasn't nailed down, cops from around the country were being asked to go door-to-door to take away firearms.

"No one is allowed to be armed. We're going to take all the guns" - Eddie Compass, NO Police Chief.

"If I could have gotten 51 votes in the Senate of the United States for an out right ban, picking up every one of them... 'Mr. and Mrs. America, turn 'em all in,' I would have done it. I could not do that. The votes weren't here." - U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA)

Well, they did just that in New Orleans. The powers-that-be decided that the law-abiding residents thereof were not "allowed" to be armed, and tasked the law enforcement officers with confiscating all firearms.

And not a single shot was fired in opposition to this blatantly unConstitutional exercise.

New Orleans was a test. It was little more than a thinly veiled test run at a future confiscation scheme. A canary-in-the-coalmine, as it were. And not a single canary died.

Not with a bang, but a whimper does our Republic die...

It's Been A While...

...Since I've felt compelled to put finger to keyboard to document just how fucking stupid my fellow man is...

Let's see... In chronological order from the drive into work:

*You. In the Land Rover. Given the choice of vehicle, my initial suspicion was that you are a pretentious asshole. Said suspicion was confirmed when you stopped in the middle of the intersection even though you had the right of way and a green light so you could take a phone call. Fuck off and die.

*Why in the name of all that is good and wholesome would anyone drop close to six figures on a stunning Jag XKS only to drive it like a 1990 Buick RoadMonster? Why?

*Okay. I applaud the town for putting up Christmas Holiday decorations. It's festive. It puts people in the holiday spirit. But for the love of G-d, don't put the fucking cherry picker in the middle of a g-ddamned intersection at the height of rush hour. My goodwill to men just dropped through the floorboards.

*Simply being a schoolbus does NOT automatically give you the right of way. I'm going straight through the intersection. You're turning left. I have the right of way. If you fail to yield the right of way, you will hit me, and I will collect big time. Got it?

*Here's a helpful hint: If I'm waiting in an interminably long line of traffic, you stand a better chance of being hit by a falling meteor than me letting you in front of me simply because you're inching your Lexus SUV directly into my path...

That feels good. It really does.

That is all.

So Angry I Cannot See Straight...

There is so much wrong with this story I don't even know where to begin.

Linebacker Chris Collins dismissed from Oklahoma State football team

STILLWATER, Okla. (AP) —
Linebacker Chris Collins was permanently dismissed from Oklahoma State's football team Monday, six days after he pleaded guilty to a felony aggravated sexual assault of a 12-year-old girl in Texas.

Okay. That's bad enough. Dude sexually assaulted a pre-teen. That's enough to warrant a "he needed killin'" in many parts of the country.

This is the only fucking part of the story that doesn't raise my blood pressure 50 points, however...

How does this story piss me off? Let me count the ways...

Coach Mike Gundy met with Collins to inform him of the dismissal, according to a statement released Monday evening by Marlene Strathe, the university's interim president.

``Chris has been a model student-athlete since he arrived at OSU last year and coach Gundy felt that he had earned the privilege of hearing the decision face-to-face from his head coach,'' Strathe said in the statement.

UN-FUCKING-MITIGATED FUCKING GALL. The "privilege" of hearing the decision straight from the coach? Could you possibly be more fucking full of yourself?

I'd have had a LOT more respect for Coach Gundy had he called campus security to escort this felon out of his locker room, with explicit instructions to shoot-on-sight should he ever return.

And it just keeps getting better:

Collins had been suspended for the remainder of the season after entering his guilty plea last week in New Boston, Texas, on the charge resulting from the May 2004 assault that occurred after prom in Collins' junior year of high school. Collins, who was 17 at the time, was one of four men charged with assaulting the girl. An affidavit indicated the girl said she could recall Collins being on top of her and kissing her neck, and contains a statement from one of the other men that he saw Collins and the girl having sexual relations.

A jury recommended Collins receive a five-year prison sentence, which he would serve on probation. He will be formally sentenced by a judge on Dec. 10.

Bad enough. Dude rapes a 12 year old girl and is on fucking probation. Un-fucking-real. But wait! It keeps getting better:

Strathe said Collins would be permitted to keep his scholarship and remain in school.

YOU. HAVE. GOT. TO. BE. SHITTING. ME.

Dude rapes a pre-teen girl, doesn't serve time, doesn't get kicked out of school and GETS TO KEEP HIS FUCKING SCHOLARSHIP??? WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING SHIT?

The dean of OSU should have demanded he be ejected from the campus. Preferably via trebuchet. Failing that, the dean should be ejected.

Hell in a fucking handbasket, people. We have extended our fucking celebrity worship culture to college fucking athletes.

Here's one last little kick in the ass:

Collins was Oklahoma State's leading tackler through six games last season when he suffered a season-ending injury. He had 31 tackles and one forced fumble in five games this season. He also missed four games due to injury this season.

Got that? Basically, NONE OF THIS HAPPENED until rapist-boy sustained an injury severe enough to keep him out the season???

How many other children could he have raped if he had stayed healthy?

I am off to the range. I've got to make sure the .308 is right on fucking target, because we are on the fucking express elevator to hell...

Gah. Where did I put that Lisinopril again?

Airplane Meme...

So everyone's posting about their favorite airplanes. Not this cat. I hate 'em. More specifically, they terrify me. I'm one of those "white knuckled fliers".

Y'see, a while back, long before we had kids, Mrs. G. and I went down to FLA with another couple to go on a cruise. We went from Tampa, Florida (proud motto: Not as crime-infested as you think!) to Cozumel, Mexico (proud motto: Hey, gringo, you like?) over the course of a week (including the return trip).

Highlights of the trip included:

*My MIL's van blowing the timing belt on the way to the airport, tearing out two of the four cylinders and very nearly causing us to miss our plane.

*Listening to a country and western band in the Day's Inn Lounge absolutely MURDER "The Electric Slide". Folks, I cannot stress just how wrong a turn your life has taken if you are a country & western singer and you are performing "The Electric Slide" in a Day's Inn in Tampa, Florida.

*Shooting skeet off the back of the cruise ship - this was cool.

*Hearing, "No es el cucaracha. Es [pause] el SCORPION!" and then seeing a large, angry scorpion scurry across the chess board my friend was contemplating purchasing.

---

We did have a lot of fun, most of which we were able to suppress with years of psychotropic narcotics.

The flight back, OTOH... First off, there was a hurricane rolling in. Miami airport was closed because of the winds, and planes were being diverted to Tampa. This meant that flights were delayed significantly - we were still sitting in the Tampa airport when we should have been landing at BWI for the connecting flight back to Logan.

So we wind up on standby for a nonstop from Tampa to Logan. We get, literally, the last four seats on the last plane leaving Tampa.

As we ascend to cruising altitude, we're getting hit with the advancing front of the hurricane. Serious turbulence. Turbulence so bad that the flight attendants were scared.

And then we hit free-fall.

I am not making this up. We hit a downdraft that must have dropped us a couple thousand feet at once, because for a second or two, we were literally weightless. I watched the person sitting in front of me let go of their newspaper, and it floated in mid-air. I was so scared, I recited the "Our Father". In English *and* French.

The pilot came on the intercom a few seconds later, and the tone of his voice indicated that he was only marginally less bothered than I. We ascended SIGNIFICANTLY faster, and achieved a rather high cruising altitude that kept us well above the storm for the remainder of the flight.

---

I flew on business a handful of times after this. Had an air traffic controller try to land us on top of another plane at Logan one time (ooooh, the pilot of our plane was PISSED about that...) We're making our final approach to the runway, landing gear down, flaps out, etc. when all of a sudden the plane just launches forward. Full throttle. We abort the landing, and go back into holding pattern. The pilot came on over the intercom, and he was spitting nails. He apologized for the abrupt maneuver, telling us, "Sorry, but they were trying to mate us with a 737"...

But nothing, nothing was more frightening than the free fall. I honestly thought I was going to die... So, no favorite planes for this blogger...

Oopsie...

Alternate title: File this one under "F" for what the FUCK were you thinking...

La. Pol's 'Buckwheat' Remark Draws Ire

HOUMA, La. —
A white state lawmaker in a runoff election called a black civil-rights veteran who had helped her campaign "Buckwheat," angering the NAACP, which urged voters to kick her out of office.

Evil Republican devil...

Rep. Carla Blanchard Dartez, a Democrat, acknowledged that she ended a Thursday night conversation with Hazel Boykin by saying, "Talk to you later, Buckwheat." Dartez had been thanking Boykin for driving voters to the polls.

Oh, wait...

Buckwheat, a black child character in the "Little Rascals"
comedies of the 1930s and '40s, is viewed as a racial stereotype.

This is "News for those who live under a rock"...

(Alternate snark: Did anyone tell Eddie Murphy circa 1983 this?)

You just know this is serious if the NAACP is actually advocating people vote against a Democrat...

Quote of the Day™

Today's Quote comes from an old friend of mine:

The writers are on strike? Good for them -- stay out for a
generation or more, it can only help raise the IQ of Hollywood output.

Oh, should I mention that this friend is a professional writer?

Belated Thanks...

To all members of our nation's Armed Forces, past, current, and future:

Thank you for your service.

To all members currently serving in harm's way, I'll offer a prayer that you come home safe and sound. And a solemn promise to kick any hippie that dare look crosseyed at you right in the balls...

Ugh...

It's Monday. Back to the grind.

Ugh.

That is all.

(More later...)

Saturday Silliness...

Well I'm sittin' in a railway station,
Got a chicken for my destination...

Waiting for the Honda dealer to find out why the "SRS" light came on in my wife's Accord. Putting lots of evil scawy gun-related links on their web browser. I wonder if they'll call the cops in...

Heh.

That is all.

Let Me Get This Straight...

Someone please tell me I'm wrong.

Did Ted Kennedy, at the confirmation hearing for new Attorney General Michael Mukasey, actually talk about waterboarding and the fear of drowning?

Honest?

Mary Jo Kopechne was unavailable for comment.

Gah.

Friday Gun Pr0n #32

Today's gun was supposed to go up last week, as it was inspired by Tam's Sunday Smith #20. But I'm an idiot, so here it is this week, hideously out of sequence:

This is a Colt Detective Special with a 3" barrel. This is a significantly more rare variant than the standard 2" barreled version so common to the cop-or-gumshoe genre. This one has seen extremely little use, judging from the flawless bluing and complete lack of wear. The serial number dates this gun to 1970 (great reference for finding Colt dates of manufacture here), which puts this gun at the tail end of Series 2 (Series 3 saw the introduction of a shroud for the ejector rod).

Thanks for looking. That is all.

I Can't Decide Who I Hate More...

...the meth-heads who discovered they could cook up meth with pseudoephedrine;

...the .gov geniuses who foisted the Combat Methamphetamine Epidemic Act of 2005 on us;

or

...Vicks, for caving in and FUCKING WITH MY BELOVED NYQUIL because of the above two items...

I want my original NyQuil, dammit. And if I have to start tossing meth-heads and ball-less bureaucrats under a bus to get it, just give me the number for Greyhound...

New Neighbor...

Well, not for me. For Bruce.

Marko is packing up the truck and moving to NH. Congrats, Marko! Welcome to the Great White North...

And his own shootin' range to boot... Man, some guys have all the luck, eh?

In Case You Hadn't Noticed...

...I've been feeling like dogshit the past few days, hence the paucity of posting.

It's hard to be polite and give a shit about your fellow man when your throat feels like you've been gargling with napalm.

Plus I currently sound like Barry White. But that's a feature, not a bug...

That is all.

Little Help Here...

Just who the fuck is "Dog" and why the fuck should I give a hairy rat's ass what comes out of his wordhole, anyways?

That is all...

I, Igor

I have been remiss. I have been reminded that I have neglected to post an After Action Report for the Cub Scout Halloween party. While I was quick to post my unhappiness with the actions of a small few at the overnight, I should have been equally quick to post my supreme delight at how wonderfully the Halloween party went.

First off, a little background. The person who had been in charge of the "Haunted Hallway" portion of the Halloween party had been doing it for several years, but this was her last year with the Cub Scouts as her youngest son is moving on to Boy Scouts. She had declined to run the Hallway this year, but graciously offered to give me pointers and left a good chunk of decorations for us.

I, as is my natural state of things, obsessed and fretted until near-panic. I had a few ideas of what we could do, but no one to help me put things into action. That is, until about a week before the party. Then I got lists and names and did a little cajoling of my own to put together a band of witches, ghosts, ghouls, zombies, and other assorted terrors-of-the-night.

We arrived at the church (yes, the celebration of a pagan ritual was taking place in a church basement. Go figure) around 3 PM to set things up (the party started at 6PM and was scheduled to go to 8PM). It took about an hour to get all the decorations up in the hallway (which, BTW, was the church's Sunday School classroom area). It took another hour to set up each station (we had three total, more below), which left about an hour to get people into costume, get positions figured out, etc.

There were three stops on the "Haunted Hallway" tour. The first station was a coven of witches brewing up their foul potions in the "Roadkill Cafe". We had a bubbling cauldron (thank gaia for dry ice...), recitation of Shakespeare's "bubble-bubble" dialog, and assorted witchy hi-jinks. The witches were perfect; bringing a blend of humor, fright, and engaging dialog for the hallway.

The next station was a ghost room, staffed by a few zombies, ghouls, and other frights. This was a more "in your face" room, with older scouts in costume jumping out of doorways and popping up from under tables to make a scary good time.

The graveyard, though, was the indisputable main attraction. The boiler room for the church has an old metal door at the back, complete with a single, stark industrial light fixture. We covered the door with "Caution" tape, and went to work transforming the storage area behind the boiler room into a creepy graveyard. It was a perfect setting, as the church's stone basement walls and rough-hewn support beams added a touch of verisimilitude that couldn't have been more perfect.

Dispersed throughout the graveyard were human sacrifices, zombies, a "coffin" complete with disembodied hand, and even the Grim Reaper himself. We had at least a half-dozen Scouts (and several of the leaders) dressed up in their scariest to make the graveyard a frighteningly good time.

And me? I was the tour guide. I opted for "Igor, the hunchback" as my costume, using an amalgam of Ren Hoek, Gollum, Igor from "Young Frankenstein", and Renfield for my inspiration. I set the stage for each station, giving the attendees a quick scary story to set the stage for what they would be viewing. Given the most of the parents were of my generation, I made sure to insert references from my inspirational characters throughout (like correcting people with "That's [pause] EYE-gore" a la Young Frankenstein or giving a curt "You eeeeediot" from Ren & Stimpy).

From the reviews at the various den meetings as well as what the kidz were sayin' in school the next day, it appears that the Halloween party, and especially the Haunted Hallway, were a rousing success. I'm already planning ways to improve (read: MORE SCARY!) next year, and now that I've BTDT, will be able to much better plan.

And I couldn't have done it without everyone that helped me. For that I am eternally grateful. Thank you each and every one!

That is all.

Overheard This Morning...

[Me, looking in on my daughter as she gets dressed for the day] "Uh, sweetie? You need to take your pajamas off before you put on your pants."

[My daughter] "D'oh!"

(I swear I am not making this up. She actually quoted Homer Simpson...)

What A Difference...

...a decade and a half makes...

On the drive into work, it dawned on me that I'd already been up for over three hours. It was 8:15AM.

In college, I used to complain mightily whenever I had a class that started at 8:30AM, thinking that it was far too early to be starting the day.

Now, by the time I would just be rolling into class when I was in college, I've already:

*Worked out for an hour
*Showered &shaved
*Woken, dressed, and fed two sleepy kids
*Gotten one kid off on the school bus and the other dropped off at pre-K.
*Driven to work to start a 9+ hour day...

I sure wish I could meet my 21-year old self, slap him upside the head a couple dozen times, and tell him to stop bitchin', as he has NO idea what he's in for...

File Under "R" for Arrivederci"...

*Sigh*


This is the saddest day of the year - the day the Harley goes into storage for the winter. Owing to a combination of lack of garage space (especially with the monster-Ram!) and me being a lazy fuck, I store my FLHT at the dealership where I bought it (I think they actually ship them to a warehouse in Jersey, but that could be another dealer I'm thinking of...)


Yeah, I could pull the battery and drain the oil. But I won't. And I know I won't. Oh, I'll mean to. I might even go so far as to grab an oil pan and take the side covers off to get at the battery. But in the end, it'll sit in a corner of the garage all winter, improperly stored, such that in the spring I'll have to put more work into it to make sure it runs right.


So, instead, I take one last ride and send her off to be well-cared for throughout the winter. Last year it was 70º and sunny the day I brought her up for storage. That sucked.


This year? 40º, overcast, and 40 MPH winds (so windchil was somewhere in the 20s...). It was a good day to store a motorcycle for the winter...


Until April, adieu, mon amie...

*sniff* I miss her already...

Snark of the Day™

Apparently there's some sort of Writer's Strike in the works out in Hollywood.

I had no idea monkeys with typewriters could organize that efficiently...

Friday Gun Pr0n #31

I s'pose this one should technically wait another 8 weeks to match, but...

This is a Smith & Wesson Model 39 9mm semi-automatic pistol. This is a "first generation" S&W autoloader featuring all-steel construction and an 8-round capacity single-stack magazine (for reference, the double stack version is the Model 59).

First generation refers to models produced from 1955 to 1980, and all first gen models have a two-digit numbering system. The second generation of Smith & Wesson autoloaders only ran for one decade, from 1980 to 1990, and added a digit for the number (i.e. model 908). The third, and current, generation has a four-digit model numbering system, with the first two digits indicating caliber and frame type, the third digit stands for the action and frame size, and the fourth digit coding the composition of the frame material.

Thus endeth the brief primer on Smith & Wesson autoloading pistols.

That is all.

Requiescat in pace...

Paul Tibbets, the pilot of the Enola Gay, has passed away at age 92.

Rest in peace, good sir. While you sought to escape the scrutiny thrust upon you by your mission, countless thousands of American soldiers and sailors were saved by it.

(Thanks to alert reader Brad for bringing this to my attention)

Gunnie Bleg...

I want to put an aftermarket stock on my Winchester 1300 12 gauge home defense/anti-zombie/TEOTWAWKI shotgun.

I can't decide if I want a folding stock (a la Butler Creek) or something in the telescoping family (like Knoxx).

*Both would be verboten on most other post-ban long arms in MA, so it's not the "forbidden fruit" aspect.

*They're within $20 of each other, so it's not price.

I just can't decide if I want the practical aspect (smaller storage footprint) of the folder vs. the wizbang tacticool telescoping.

Any thoughts/suggestions/reviews would be appreciated...

Thanks in advance!