More Helpful Hints...

Gather 'round, kiddies. Your friendly Uncle Jay is going to dispense some hard-won wisdom in the ever-raging battle of the sexes.

• When your spouse approaches you and tells you that they would like to "put more passion in our marriage", what they mean is "Having sex once every other month totally sucks ass and I'm sick of it. If I wanted to be a eunuch I'd have bought larger hedge trimmers."
• The proper response to the question "What can I do to help you want to be intimate?" is NOT "There's nothing you can do." That's called a lost cause, and in the best-case scenario is going to lead to a major upswing in online porn. Worst case is the hiring of a large-chested secretary who used to be a gymnast.
• Please do not tell us about all the times you're "in the mood" when we're not around. If you're not "in the mood" when we are around, that's what matters. The fact that you were allegedly "in the mood" at two o'clock in the afternoon means as little to your husband (who was at work at that time) as the dating habits of your co-workers (which, coincidentally, we don't give a rat's ass about unless they look like the secretary in the previous point).
• In keeping with the above, claiming to have been "in the mood" at one point in the day but not at night when we are home and also "in the mood", raises suspicions. Men are always in the mood. In fact, men have two states of arousal: Want it, and Just Got It. That's it. We do not understand how you can be "in the mood" one minute and out of the mood the next. We're in the mood until we're in the nude, capiche?
• So there's some poll out there that claims 7X a year is the average for couples with kids. You know what? They're counting the octogenarians down the street whose kids are AARP members in that demographic. That average is skewed and highly suspect. We can find polls all day long that put the average somewhere around 1-2 time a week. Don't play that game, it's rigged, and you'll lose.
• Let's say you're really hungry and stop into a restaurant to get something to eat. You wait quite a while for a table, and are starving by the time you order. More time passes and the waiter comes back to tell you that your dinner is delayed and will take significantly longer to prepare. Would you sit there starving, hoping your meal will come soon, or would you order something else?

That is all.

Another Blogroll Addition...

Okay... Time to spruce up the ol' blogroll... Second time in as many weeks, I like that!

And, once more with feeling, people... Please, please, please if you feel that MArooned is worthy of adding to your own blogroll, and you're not already listed here, please send me a note (e-mail in profile) or leave a message in comments to let me know. Hey! Now you can even reach me via Google chat - Just search for "jayg71@gmail.com", that's me.

In any case, please let me know...

---

On that note, please welcome West, By God to the blogroll. I noticed a link to last Friday's gun pr0n, followed it back, and noticed MArooned on the blogroll there. As I've mentioned, I run a reciprocal 'roll here @ MArooned (and am a shameless link whore to boot), so I've added Greg and Beth to the 'roll.

That is all.

Insert Annoyed Grunt Here...

What. The. Fuck.

Over.

Did I miss an announcement? Has there been an outbreak of stupid reported? There's gotta be. I can only assume that the Army has been secretly testing a new biological agent on the drivers of the northeast, one that induces a strong lack of anything resembling common courtesy or even basic self-preservation instinct.

I mean, I can look beyond the mouth-breathers making left turns with their right-side tires touching the dirt on the side of the road (and their idiots-in-arms with the right turn made starting in the epicenter of the street). Apparently they all drove big rigs in former lives. And yes, the guy traveling at 8 MPH through the center of town while searching for whatever business (Mongoloids-R-Us?) kinda cheesed me off.

But these people absolutely pale in comparison to some of the acts of random lunacy out there on the road. Like the minivan that came down the steep hill at a high rate of speed, completely ignored the stop sign at the bottom of the hill where their road joined with the main road, and then came to a stop AFTER merging. The only possible explanation I can come up with is that the eight brain cells left from repeated cell phone irradiation have some bizarre 5 second delay on action...

Then there's the dingus in the Jaguar (complete with "Re-Elect Gore" sticker prominently displayed in the back window - way to let the world know you're a moron stuck on stupid!) literally swerving left to right in the middle of the road. No, I have no idea what he was doing. It looked kinda like a Nascar driver warming up the tires, only with the super slo-mo on. I can only surmise that he was receiving his driving instructions from the bug-eyed aliens in charge of the Zoomboni Nebula.

No morning commute would be complete without someone talking on a cell phone, right? I've gotten used to people so oblivious to the world around them that if the law of gravity were repealed they'd be flung into deep space before the Verizon guy finished saying "Can you hear me now?". Every once in a great while, though, you see something so monumentously idiotic that it takes your breath away. Like the woman I saw this morning who was not only on the phone, but actually had her entire torso below the dashboard line while traveling down the road at 40 MPH. For at least five seconds. I'll say this for the Honda Pilot - they have excellent tracking, as it stayed straight and true for the entire time. All it would have taken was one car pulling out of a driveway to turn a simple commute into a trip to the ER. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Is it possible that the trucks they've got driving around spraying for mosquitos are actually spraying stupid tonic?

That is all.

Guaranteed Mood-Lifter...

Alt. title: Sometimes I'm so smart I amaze even myself...

Okay, so gunnie newz got me down. Gunnie newz gets me right back up. Started thinking of ways to get out of the funk when it hit me like a thunderclap: Plan the first range trip to the new gun club!

New gun club has three ranges: A rifle range with 50 and 100 yard stations; a pistol range with 21', 50', and 25 yard stations; and an indoor pistol-only range that goes out to 50'. The pistol range is limited to lead bullets only, as the backstop is a large, angled steel plate, meaning that I'm more or less limited to .22LR and .38 special (no Magnums, unfortunately).

Given that I don't care for cleaning too many guns at once, I'd like to keep it to 4 or less. So with that in mind...

Rifle range: Easy. I have a new variable power scope (3-9X) on the Remington 511 that I have yet to sight in. Figure I can spend a pleasant half-hour or so getting it set up for 50 yards right there. If I get really motivated, I could sight in the VEPR at 50 yards, too; although I think the Russian scope that came with it should be replaced anyways...

Pistol range: Sig 226 and Colt 1991A1. Too easy. Neither got shot at the Bloggershoot, and they're still even in the case.

Indoor range: Here's a toughie. Limiting me to .38 special (because I'm a cheap bastard and don't want to drop big $$$ on .44 Special wadcutters) doesn't cut down on my choices all that much, since I have close to a dozen guns chambered in .38 special or .357 Magnum... I'm thinking it might be nice to use this as a defensive/carry gun exercise, so the Model 38 or the Snubbie From Hell™. Then again, seeing Mike's new wheelgun makes me hanker to take the Model 19 out of the safe, too... The Security Six got some good trigger time at the Bloggershoot, standing in as Lissa's first centerfire pistol (and first Magnum!), so I'm all set there. I've only had a chance to shoot the Colt Lawman once, and that should be rectified post-haste as well...

Decisions, decisions...

That is all.

Melancholy Mood...

I don't know exactly why, but today finds me in a somewhat melancholy mood. Perhaps it's the news that my old gun range has closed (mentioned yesterday in passing). This was the first place I shot a handgun (a .410 shotgun in the back 40 as a kid was my first time shooting a firearm, for those who are curious) at the tender age of 18. I've been going there off and on for almost 20 years, and now it's gone.

Also gone, or at least going, is Kim's place. He's decided to move on to other venues, other adventures, and my hat's off to him. I owe Kim a pretty big debt of gratitude - it was his site back in the day that got me back into the shooting sports; re-awakening the love of all things that go boom. I was surprised to see that he pre-dated my blogging at Toys in the Attic by only a year, starting in 2002. It seemed to me that the Nation of Riflemen had been around forever.

So that's two important pieces of my life gone. Forgive me if I seem a little on the blue side today.

---

Quick funny story regarding the range above, though, to lift the mood a bit.

The first time I went shooting, I was with some friends from work who had been to the range shortly after it opened. It was one of a very few public ranges in MA, and anyone could shoot at the range. The first gun I tried was a Ruger Security Six .357 Magnum with .38 special reloads. After putting a box through the Ruger I was ready to move up to the .357 Magnum. Put a box of .357 Magnum reloads through the Ruger and I was hooked.

The second time I went shooting, I decided to try the .44 Magnum. They had a S&W Model 629 for rent, and reloaded .44 Magnum for not a lot more than the .357 Magnum. What the hell.

Put a cylinder through it, kinda surprised by the recoil, when I decide it's time to be macho. I switch to a one hand grip, aim carefully, and squeeze the trigger.

Next thing you know, I'm seeing stars - the gun recoiled back straight into my forehead. Right back to a two-handed stance after that... It would be a long time, and many more rounds, before I was confident (read: Stupid) enough to try it again (and no, the second time there were no cranial indentations...)

That is all.

More Fun with Sitemeter...

Woo Hoo! I am the #1 Google search hit for "10 to the power of minus 4 written". Go me!

That is all.

Random Riffs...

Looks like I need to sacrifice another keyboard to appease the gods of writer's block. To fill in the void between bloggy goodness, here's some random shit rattling around inside my brain.

You have been warned...

• In atypical Jay G fashion, my timing for once is impeccable. I (finally) joined a local gun range last month, and found out just a couple of days ago that the public range that I normally frequent has shut its doors. Theoretically they are going to be building a brand-new facility right up the road, but considering that the range was closed for over a year when ownership changed hands, I find it unlikely to re-open any time in the immediate future.
• Mrs. G. signed up to work some overnight shifts at the hospital this week, throwing my workout schedule into upheaval (DSS frowns on leaving small children unattended, even if they are securely duct-taped to their beds. Go figure). I had switched to working out at night back when she started on days, but it didn't fit in with my schedule, so I've been getting up at 4:30AM every day to work out. Since she's on nights this week, and gets home at 7:45AM, it's back to working out at night. Guess it's good to keep things fluid!
• In that same vein, I've decided, based in part on my blogfather's recent beefcake pics, that it's time to add a little more weight training into the mix. I've been doing mostly cardio for my exercise regimen, figuring that getting off the blood pressure meds (and staying off) was a more important immediate goal than bulking up. Well, it's been almost a year and a half off the meds, my blood pressure is stabilized (and actually improving - at my last doctor's appointment, it was lower than back when I was fat and on Lisinopril!). So it looks like I'll need to finally clear out the office and make room for a weight bench. And start reading up like mad on different weightlifting regimens.
• I've refrained from commenting on the whack-a-mole who shot up the church in TN; however all reports indicate that what could have been a MAJOR bloodbath was averted when unarmed citizens rushed the shooter. People, rushing a madman armed with a 12 gauge shotgun takes some serious fucking balls. Greg McKendry stepped in front of a lunatic with a 12 gauge to save the lives of others. That is the very fucking textbook definition of hero - giving his life so that others may live (link thanks to Unc).
• Lastly, referring back to random point #2, had a bit of a hard time this morning. I was looking forward to "sleeping in" (7 AM) and as such stayed up a little on the later side last night (late for me @ 37 mind you; would have been an early night for me @27, but that's life...) Of course, #1 son decides that 5:45 AM is his new wake-up time, even though he's been told (repeatedly) to stay in his room until 7AM. He came in at 5:45, 6, 6:15; 6:30, and 6:45 asking to go downstairs and watch TV. He's the human snooze button. (And no, each and every time prior to 7AM he was told to go back to bed. Promptly at 7AM, naturally, he goes into his room and starts playing quietly with his Legos™).

That is all.

The "Joys" of Parenthood...

Marko had his own moment of parental fun earlier today.

I got mine tonight. Little Miss Princess G., incensed that her brother got to stay up a whopping 30 minutes later than she did (because he's older and wasn't claiming to be tired to be excused from dinner), had an "accident" in her bed.

While awake.

Oh yes, this does not go over well. Punitive bed-wetting does not goes over well in the G. household (remember, my son thinks I am, and I quote, "Too harsh"). Her bed was field-stripped, new sheets (non-character, natch) put on, and stuffed animals taken away inside of two minutes. Her attempt to stall bedtime lost her stuffed animals and gained her a couple of minutes only.

You don't mess with Daddy. He'll be the first one to step up and defend you when you are in the right. But he'll come down like a ton of bricks when you're in the wrong...

That is all.

More Go Read Now...

Mike over at Mike-istan has a great post deconstructing those insipid "COEXIST" bumper stickers.

He says what I'm thinking, only like way better and without using any four, eight, or 19 letter words (I consider "Dumbass-motherfucker" to be one word).

Go. Read.

(Note to self: Add Mike to the blogroll)

That is all.

Carrying Concealed Behind the GFW Curtain...

Alternate title: This ain't erring on the side of caution, this is erring on the side of paranoia...

I've touched on the byzantine laws governing the issuance of firearm permits previously. Carrying the series forward, it might be interesting for those of you living in Free America to see how those of us in decidedly gun-unfriendly states carry concealed. For this exercise, we will consider only legal, sanctioned carriage of arms, as the editorial staff here at MArooned does not advocate the breaking of laws no matter how unconstitutional they may be.

Obviously, the focus will center on the average person here in Mass. I do not claim to be an expert on MA gun laws, let alone those of CA, NJ, NY, or other gun-unfriendly states. So, we'll start where the last post left off: You live in one of these states, and through either sheer luck, determination, or connections have managed to secure an elusive permit to carry.

The million dollar question, then, is: How do you exercise this right without winding up a legal test case or in the klink? The nickel answer is, to bowlderize a phrase from the motorcycling community, carry as though everyone is actively trying to get you arrested (ride like everyone else on the road is actively trying to kill you). This means double- and triple checking your carry rig to make sure there's no chance your firearm could slip; it means repeated trips to the full-length mirror to make sure no part of your firearm is inadvertantly exposed when going through the range of motions; in short, it means you take every conceivable precaution to avoid being "made". I've detailed some of my concealment methods before.

In MA, where one needs a permit simply to possess a firearm, if one were to get "made", it is quite conceiveable that this would result in, at minimum, a revocation of one's permit. This means that every single firearm you possess; every last bit of ammunition; every last speck of powder needs to be removed from your possession immediately upon pain of felony charges. US Constitution, void where prohibited by state law (not coincidentally, this is why I prefer pocket carry in all but the coldest months - there's simply less chance of accidental printing). Worst case scenario is you get charged with criminal threatening or some other bullshit GFW crap that results in you either going to jail or pleading out to a felony charge. And spending a huge chunk of cash on lawyers' fees in any case...

What does this mean if you are carrying a firearm for protection? It means constant vigilance as to the security of your weapon - no $20 cheapo gun show holsters. In a way, it's a blessing, as it removes the temptation to skimp on gear - yes, you might save $30 on a holster, but is it really worth the risk of showing? It means you're always aware of any activity that might possibly cause your CCW piece to be exposed - reaching for an item on a top shelf if you're carrying on your belt; sitting down if you're using an ankle holster; or running/exercising/any form of rapid motion for any cause. In short, you're always in condition yellow or higher. Which isn't always a bad thing. Also, as touched upon above, it means you have the number of an attorney or attorneys who specialize in firearms law on your person at all times (actually, this isn't a bad idea even for those in Free America).

Now, there are some bright sides to carrying in a gun-unfriendly state, and for this exercise I'll use MA specifically. First off, there are no "prohibited" places other than those precluded by Federal Law (schools). There's none of this "no carrying in bars" or "open carry only in establishments that serve alcohol". There's no bullshit about having to expose your carry piece if you're riding in a car. There's no obligation to inform a police officer that you are carrying and the debate about whether one should tell or not as a courtesy is hotly debated. The only advice I'll offer is NEVER lie, and if there is any chance, no matter how remote, that the officer might spot your sidearm, tell them immediately. Cops do NOT like surprises, especially those that could kill them.

Secondly, there's no such thing as "binding signage" - an establishment can put out all the "No EEEEVIL gunz 'R' Allowed" signs it wants, but the most they can do is ask you to leave. Personally, I'm far more concerned about the situation(s) by which they'd know I was carrying, because it's one of two things: Either I got "made", in which case I'm fucked whether there's a sign or not; or I used my firearm to defend my life, in which case all the fucking signs in the world don't mean a warm bucket of spit.

And lastly, and this is the tactical aspect, in a state like MA, where there's less than a quarter million (legal) gun owners out of a some 6.5 million, people just don't expect you to be armed. While the GFW quotient is high, none of them expect to encounter a fellow citizen carrying a firearm. This means that, while one must always be vigilant about printing, the odds are greatly in your favor that, short of your Glock falling out of the holster and landing on the floor, the average person won't notice if the butt of your 1911 makes a bulge in the small of your back.

That is all, although I'm happy to entertain questions in comments...

Dad/Gun Nut Math...

Red Ryder BB Gun: $29.
Bottle of 6,000 BBs: $7.
Safety glasses: $10.

Afternoon spent knocking over Dixie cups in the back yard with my son: Priceless.

That is all.

My Weekend in (Northern) Hillbilly Hell...

This is probably gonna piss off Bruce (among others), but he's away for the week, so...

Spent the weekend in upstate (read: rural) Maine at the in-law's cabin on a lake. Two hours in a car with two cranky, noisy children who couldn't understand the concepts of:
a) Keeping their voices below "Jet exhaust" decibel levels, or
b) NOT kicking the seats of the adults in front for 1,542 times in a row.

In no particular order, the following were observed this weekend:

• A hand-written sign reading "Wanted: Two children to watch in my home." No word on whether or not the home was made of candy.
• A compact pick-up truck from the 1980s with a "For Sale" sign on it. With only three tires. I was thinking that maybe ponying up an extra $10 at a junkyard might help move that a little faster.
• A "planter" around a mailbox post consisting of a toddler bed shaped like a race car that was filled with two-foot tall weeds.
• A member of the recycled can brigade on a scooter with three milk crates ziptied to the back of said scooter across the back (meaning that it was three milkcrates wide, easily double the width of the scooter).
• A mobile home with a brand-spankin' new sheet metal roof. With the gable ends constructed of, what else, blue poly tarp.
• 20 or 30 cars in front yards with various pieces missing. And yes, the majority were Camaros, although the Ford Mustang is starting to get the edge as the Camaro fades from the public view.
• A gas station advertising gas for $3.12/gallon, which made me slam on the brakes only to realize that it had been closed for quite some time... D'OH!

That is all.

MORE Friday Gun Pr0n!

Blogson Zeeke42 has a new-to-him pair of M1s.

Man, I have got to get off my lazy ass and get an order into the CMP for one of the M1 carbines one of these days...

That is all.

Friday Gun Pr0n #69

Today's gun is something a little different. It's not a firearm, per se, but an air rifle. Specifically, my son's first air rifle:

Yes, that is an actual, honest-to-goodness Red Ryder BB Gun, the same one made famous in "A Christmas Story"



There are a few subtle differences between my son's Red Ryder BB gun and Ralphie's. On the plus side, in today's day and age of everything being bigger and stronger and faster, the Red Ryder Carbine now holds 650 shots. On the minus side, no compass in the stock.

Many tin cans will meet their demise at the muzzle of this beast. And, with any kind of luck, my son will not shoot his eye out (please note the safety glasses!). He has demonstrated to me that he knows the Four Rules of Gun Safety by heart; he has shown consistently good gun-handling skills with his toy guns; after the Cub Scout weekend last month I am confident that he will be a safe and careful shooter. He will, of course, only be allowed to use the BB gun under my supervision, at least for the time being.

And another gunnie is born in the Volksrepublik of Massa-fucking-chusetts. That sound you hear is John Kerry sobbing like a little girl...

That is all.

Go. Read. NOW.

Today's must-read comes from my favorite librarian, who not only hits it out of the park, she stops on her way around the bases to save a child choking on a hard candy as well...

Go. Read the whole thing. Twice.

That is all.

Today = Made Of Fail...

Things didn't start off too well - got into the truck to discover that the back window has a leak, and the back seat is wet. Not soaked, fortunately; in fact, the Scotchguarding appeared to have held the water to a manageable pile of random droplets. That was the only good part to the morning.

Got behind three different cars all traveling at least 10-15 MPH below the speed limit. Driving 20 MPH on a 40 MPH road gives you plenty of time to contemplate exactly how you'd like to vaporize the mouth-breather in front of you. But to get behind his sister shortly thereafter, and then to hook up with his cousin, well, by that time I had pretty well resigned myself to the idea of my 15 mile trip taking well over an hour, because...

The skies absolutely opened up - torrential downpours. This has the same effect as the first snowstorm of the season, in that as soon as the wipers go on high, people's brains leak right out their ears and down their shoulders. Folks, I'm living with 15 MPG so that I *CAN* go through a puddle of standing water. If you can't risk it, get the ever-lovin' fuck outta my way.

It was awfully nice of that police officer to turn on his emergency lights *AFTER* he ran through the red light at the intersection. At least we knen why we all had to slam on our brakes for the cruiser. AFTER he made it through. I can only assume he fell asleep during the lecture at the academy about turning lights on BEFORE running the red light...

And, lastly, the Jeep in front of me with his directional on for about four miles was the icing on the cake. Captain Oblivious just bulled merrily ahead, completely and blissfully unaware that he was signalling a turn that he would never make.

Someday, I'm gonna arm the atomic land torpedoes...

That is all.

My Youth Is Coming Back to Haunt Me!

...because I've got blogchildren coming out of the woodwork!

Please welcome former commenter zeeke42 as blogger zeeke42 now over at Young and Crotchety (love it!). Zeeke42 hits the trifecta: Added to the blogroll (because he blogrolls me), added to the list of "Bloggers I've Met", *AND* the (not-so) coveted "Blogchild" which is now "Blogchildren".

Holy crap. Two of 'em. Good thing I don't believe in supporting Planned Bloggerhood...

Also please welcome another former commenter / now blogger Arcticelf at Give Them What They Want. Two new blogs in one day. Life is good.

That is all.

Helpful Hint...

To the ladies out there... If you're going to reject your husband's amorous advances by telling him you're "too tired", don't spend the next 25 minutes detailing your entire day in play-by-play mode.

And if you do, don't act all surprised when your husband: A) Doesn't display rapt attention the entire 25 minutes; and B) Might not be buying the "too tired" argument.

That is all.

Thoughts and Prayers, Please...

Ambulance Driver is having, as he understatedly puts it, a Bad Day. He's had a run-in on his bike, and a co-worker has suffered an unimaginable tragedy.

Please keep AD and his co-worker in your thoughts and/or prayers.

That is all.

The Zen of Shooting...

Alternate title: It's impossible to be stressed out while shooting a magnum handgun...

I noticed something at the 2008 Northeast Bloggershoot. Actually, it's something I've known for a long time: Shooting is therapeutic. Whenever I leave the range, the knot of stress in the back of my neck is gone (usually back within minutes of getting back to work on Monday, but I digress...)

The discipline, self-control, and sheer fun of a trip to the range is wonderful relaxation. I try to bring at least one "fun" firearm with me every time I go, even if I'm going for defensive practice. .22LR is excellent for this particular aspect, as it's cheap to shoot (even recently) so I'm not seeing dollar signs with every trigger pull (like with .44 magnum). Plinking is by far my favorite - a row of tin cans, my pump-action Winchester 1906, and there's hours of shootie goodness for mere pennies.

Going to the range in a group (like the Bloggershoot) offers a different type of fun (as evidenced by certain videos of certain gun bloggers attacking certain effigies with bayonets...) than shooting alone; just as shooting on a private range by yourself can be fun in a different way than on a line of shooters. I cannot recall ever having a bad day at the range (now, I've done some bad shooting, that's for certain...). Some days are better than others - I've found when I'm shooting good I enjoy it more (well, DUH) - but anytime I can squeeze in some trigger time is a good time for me.

Whether I'm emptying a defensive pistol into a silhouette target at 21 feet, sighting in a red dot sight at 25 yards, or shooting clays in the field, I'm guaranteed to get in my car at the end of the day feeling relaxed, serene, and at peace with myself and the world. The stress of daily life has melted away, spreadsheets and bills replaced by holes on paper, or busted clays, or holey tin cans. My demeanor is improved, my outlook sunnier.

Until the first idiot cuts me off, but that's a different story...

That is all.

Total Fanboy Geeking Out...

The Lawdog mentioned me in a post of his about bloggers.

Me.

Profane, teletubby-bayonetting lil ol' me.

holyfuckingshit that is cool...

(Now if I could only get on his blogroll...) *g*

Go. Read. Now.

Lissa hits this one out of the park. Anything I could add would be superfluous...

That is all.

2008 Northeast Bloggershoot AAR

Okay. It's been more than 24 hours since the last rifle report echoed off the range. Guns have been brought home, cleaned, and tucked back in their respective safes. It's time to dust off the keyboard and write down my thoughts on the Bloggershoot.

For bloggers, we had:

Marko
Lissa
TOTWTYTR
Liberty
JD
doubletrouble
Ted
Weer'd Beard
Bruce

And, of course, yours truly:

(This pic was taken in the spirit of "Let's make Sarah Brady cry", because as Lissa put it, "Every time Sarah Brady cries, an angel gets its wings." I like her.)

Commenters/readers in attendance:

zeeke42
drmac and his lovely wife
brad_in_ma
Arcticelf

Special guest: Paul, the proprietor of State Line Gun Shop in Mason, NH.

---

I'm not sure exactly who does or doesn't mind having their picture plastered all over Al Gore's Intertubes, so I'll just post a quick pic of the ordnance:

And that's only one side of the range. The other side held more armaments, but I neglected to get a shot of that side (mainly because it was my stuff primarily).

We had pretty much everything possible under the gunnie sun short of a .50 BMG. There were submachine guns. There were suppressed M4s. We had military surplus weapons spanning the advent of smokeless powder. Evil black rifles were aplenty, with AK-47 clones, AR-15-based platforms, and even my .308 VEPR (which, while not black, is certain to give gun grabbers a nasty case of the vapors...).

For pistols, I made an interesting observation: With more than a dozen gunnies in attendance, there was not a single Glock to be found. I counted at least four or five 1911s, and more Smith & Wesson revolvers than you'd be likely to find in the average gun shop (and that was just TOTWTYTR's stash!), but nothing from Gaston...

And the cannon. We had a cannon to start the festivities.

And I got to light it. I'm still geeking out about that...

---

Since I was responsible for organizing this get-together, I took on the role of the unofficial emcee, range officer, and general cat-herder for the group. I didn't get a chance to take as many pictures as I would have liked - I got home, looked at my camera, and went, "Shit, is that all the pictures I took???".

I really wish I could have spent more time just chatting with everyone. Between running around setting things up, giving range warnings (range hot/range cold, man downrange, etc.), and trying to get some shootin' time of my own in, I didn't get nearly enough chance to talk to everyone. Nevertheless, here's my take on things...

Starting with the bloggers I hadn't met before:

Marko is a lot taller than I imagined; I think it has to do with the psychology of "Munchkin" in his blog title. He's soft-spoken, extremely nice, but when he gets a firearm in his hands he is all business.

Ted surprised the hell out of me by telling me I was his inspiration to start blogging. It took me aback, a little, to find out that the virtual poo I fling around with abandon here actually motivated someone else to share their thoughts. That surprised me. He also brought the workstations that we shot the hell out of, which was pretty fuckin' cool...

Lissa is just cute as a button and an absolute sweetheart. She openly admitted to being pretty new to firearms, and came to the group with an open mind and a willingness to shoot pretty much anything we handed to her. She really looked like she had a good time, which, really, is all I ever wanted from this get-together. And she made this picture possible:

Now if *THAT* doesn't get several dozen angels their wings, nothing will. That's Lissa, a female Massachusetts resident, shooting a machine gun. Heh.

Liberty brought a Furby. That says it all right there, pretty much. *g* Liberty's one of the folks I wished I could have chatted with more, being as how he came down pretty much from the Arctic Circle to join us... (inside joke).

JD brought LaLa, the brutal assault of which has been captured on video. If that's too gruesome, here's the before picture:

As Marko so deftly put it, unhinged, but in a good way... (BTW, thanks, Bruce, for the loan of the SKS. Next time I'll bring my 91/30 and I can do the bayonet charge from the 21 foot line...).

Weer'd Beard was my co-pilot for the ride down, and we got to jawin' and such and totally missed the exit off the highway... It took us like three or four exits before we'd realized we'd gone too far and turned around - resulting in us showing up about 10 minutes after the Bloggershoot was supposed to start. We weren't the last ones there, but I had wanted to get there early to help set up... Oh well. We were the last ones to leave, though...

I've known Bruce for years - hell, I knew him before he owned guns! TOTWTYTR I first met a couple years back when we did the Smith & Wesson tour. We've also cruised a gun show or two together.

Have to save doubletrouble for the anchor position. I owe you one, buddy. Actually, I owe you more than one for the generosity you displayed in opening your lovely home and fabulous range to a group of weirdos strangers. This meeting would not have been the same anywhere else - it definitely wouldn't have been as much fun. Your range allowed for a more casual atmosphere on the shooting line (although we all obeyed the Four Rules, of course, and everyone came away with the same number of holes in their bodies that they came in with).

And we got to shoot Furby, LaLa, and computer mainframes. Try THAT at the local Fish & Game!

Thanks again for everything.

For commenters, I had met zeeke42 at the Northeastshooters pumpkin shoot last November, and brad_in_ma has been a friend for years. Arcticelf I hadn't met before, and was kind enough to offer his range in central MA for future meets. I think he was afraid of losing the oil pan on his sports car on the ride to the sooper seekrit range again... drmac and his wife are two more folks that made a long trek to be with the group, and I really wish I could have spent more time chatting. It was great meeting all of you, and here's hoping that there are many more of these meet-and-greets in the future!

---

And that, for now, is all.

Bloggershoot Quote of the Day

Comes from Ted in comments at JD's place, talking about the Bloggershoot, he said it was like:

Disney World with *explosions*

Yeah. It was. It was gunnie nirvana, or, as I like to call it, gunnervana...

That is all.

Blogroll Additions...

Time to add all the participants in the 2008 Northeast Bloggershoot (who aren't already there) and to add more names to the list of "Bloggers I've Met"...

New to the blogroll:

Ted over at Borepatch. He gets the first slot for the LaLa video and also for being the first to send me pictures... He's also responsible for a whole new category, one that I never thought I'd get to add: Blog-children. Apparently my insane feces flinging here inspired him to start his own blog (I would guess under the auspices of "Hell, if this retarded chimp can do it, anyone can")...

Lissa at Looking for Lissa is second, because she posted an awesome review of her experience at the bloggershoot from a quasi-newbie perspective.

And finally, my co-pilot (ahem) Weer'd Beard over at Weer'd World Arrrr. With any kind of luck, I'll have my review up before his, so I won't be the last...

Welcome aboard, everyone, and get ready for the awesome stat-boosting power that is a MAroon-a-lanche (says Jay, choking back large, moist, horse-like snorts of laughter...)

Marko, Liberty, and JD have also been added to the Bloggers I've Met section.

That is all.

BloggerShoot Linky Love...

Before I offer my thoughts on yesterday's 2008 Northeast Bloggershoot Meeting, here's a round-up of what other participants thought:

Bruce has a video of the start of the Shoot, as well as rare footage of redneck trap. He also documents the only way to really insure your old computer's hard drives are inaccessible once you throw them away...

Doubletrouble weaves a tale of being invaded by a whole bunch of gun-totin' weirdos. He also is responsible for arranging for Paul of State Line Gun Shop stopping by with some marvelous toys.

JD thinks we should have had nametags and promises to put up pictures later.

Liberty liked the subgun and posts pictures of one of the other childhood toy-turned victim.

TOTWTYTR posts a list of his ordnance and requests pictures. I'll second that request - while I remembered my camera (and tripod!), I was crazy busy running around like a madman (what else is new) trying to make sure everything was going smoothly.

And Ted, who posted the Teletubby bayonet charge video, has a follow-up.

Marko posts his impressions as well. Great to have you back among the blogging, buddy, and it was great meeting you. Even if you do think I am unhinged... *g*

Still waiting to hear from Lissa, who went from being a relative firearm noob to an experienced pistolero, shotgunner, and machine gunner in one day and Weer'd Beard (who was responsible for making us late... *g*)

Up next: Additions to the blogroll, followed by my impressions. And some pictures...

That is all.

That. Was. Fun...

Wow. The Meat, Greet, & Skeet (A.K.A. 2008 Northeast Bloggershoot) was a rousing success.

As soon as I can find my right shoulder, I'll put up some more in depth material. Right now, I need to find a large bottle of Advil™ and some hopeychange (inside joke).

That was great, folks. Had a lot of fun. Great meeting all the new folks, and great to see all my old buds.

A special MArooned "Thank You" to doubletrouble, he knows why.

Special linky-love edition tomorrow. But first, stop here, read the whole thing, and watch the video at the end...

That is all.

T-Minus 21 Hours and Counting...

Less than one day until the 2008 Northeast Blogger Shoot...

Holy shit I am pumped for this... Went out this morning and bought more ammo... (Side note: Bruce, Gene's got a NIB Rough Rider .22LR single-action revolver for $180... Just sayin'...)

The grand total of victims targets is 8 laundry detergent jugs (2.5 gallon) and 20 2L soda bottles. Plus assorted paper targets. And a keyboard - I figure we can string it up, arrange a firing squad, and sacrifice it to the gods of Writer's Block...

21 hours. 1,260 minutes. 75,600 seconds. 75,599 seconds. 75,...

That is all.

Friday Gun Pr0n #68

Alternate title: 2008 Northeast Blogger Shoot Ordnance!

Okay. It's official. I am insane. Here's what I am schlepping to the Blogger Shoot:

Eight longarms, seven pistols. I'm going to need the next day off for cleaning (which, coincidentally, I have, and by design...)

We've got some new(ish) shooters coming to the Meat, Greet, and Skeet, and I wanted to be sure to have a handy representative of the shooting spectrum available. Yes, it's a tad heavy on .22LR offerings, but I'm chalking that up to the rising cost of ammo more than anything.

(I am really curious to see what the 8mm and the .308 do to the laundry jugs...)

That is all.

Late-Breaking Bloggershoot Update!

I really hate to change plans this late in the game, and apologize beforehand if this interferes with anyone's plans for the Bloggershoot, but I have to make changes in my plans for Sunday. Circumstances beyond my control dictate that I must alter things slightly.


...


...


...


... I'll be bringing the 8mm Turkish Mauser rather than the Mosin/Nagant 91/30. My apologies for this last-minute change...

That is all.

Random Gunnie Facts About Me...

Had this post bouncing around for a couple of days now. Here's a handful of interesting gun facts about your humble host:

• I do not own a single Evil Black Rifle. In fact, the only black-furnitured longarms I possess are shotguns. I do not own an AR-15, FN/FAL, etc.
• I do not own a Ruger 10/22. I almost bought one for this year's Buy A Gun Day, but the nail on the side of the road had other plans...
• I do not like Glocks. It's not a bias against polymer-framed/striker-fired guns, as I really like my Kel-Tec and my S&W SW99s; I just don't like the way the Glock fits in my hand. I also don't like that trigger-safety deal, and the "press the trigger to disassemble" nonsense.
• I don't get to shoot as often as I would like (okay, that's not a big revelation) - recently I've only been getting to the range once every other month (!!!).
• I finally joined a gun club after going to a public range for years (and mooching off friends who were members at other clubs...)
• I have an apparent knack for shooting trap - the last time I tried, which was only the second time I'd ever shot trap, I hit 14 out of 15 birds.
• In fact, reverting to random fact #1, I only have a small handful of semi-automatic centerfire rifles, and all but one of them are broken in some way. The one that works fine is my Russian VEPR in .308, which has magazines that are apparently made out of unicorn horn, as I have been unable to find a replacement after searching for over a year.
• I used to prefer revolvers to semi-autos for handguns, as revolvers were easier to clean. I have since discovered the unique joy of the polymer-framed pistol and how disgustingly easy to clean they are...
• Along those lines, I really hate cleaning guns, but I am absolutely fanatical about cleaning them right after shooting and getting them as clean as possible. I clean all of my .22s after every range trip, even though the manufacturer's recommendations don't support it.

I think that's enough weird gunnie info about me for now...

That is all.

T-Minus Four...

...and counting...

This is the last update before our 2^nd Annual (?!?!) Northeast Blogger Shoot (alt. title: Meat, Greet, & Skeet). Previous updates can be found here, here, here, here, here, and here (please heed the request for e-mails, Lissa and zeeke42...) all set, thanks everyone!

---

Here is the final list of participants:

Bloggers:
Marko
Liisa
TOTWTYTR
Liberty
JD
doubletrouble
Ted
Weer'd Beard
Bruce

Commenters:
Zeeke42
drmac (& Mrs. drmac)
brad_in_ma
Arcticelf

---

For any who may be interested (Bruce, Weer'd, I think you guys are the closest), I've got room in the truck for at least a couple of passengers. I'm on the North Shore, so anyone coming from the eastern side of MA/lower NH is more than welcome to park @ my house and ride out with me (it's about an hour, considering that I will be carrying enough ordnance and ammo to conquer Canada and will therefore be traveling at exactly the speed limit the whole way...)

---

Everyone is exhorted to bring their own bug spray, beverages (bring lots of water, as it's supposed to be hot on Sunday), chairs, and, most importantly if you're not a shooter, shooting gear. At the very least, pick up some disposable ear plugs; ideally get yourself a decent set of headphone-type muffs. Also, if you don't have sturdy eyeglasses or sunglasses, please invest in some eye protection.

---

Targets should be either biodegradable (read: watermelon, etc.) or easily cleaned up (cans, plastic bottles, etc.) NO GLASS - no computer monitors, old TVs, etc. If you've got an old washing machine that you'd like to riddle with bullets, feel free to bring it - as long as you pack it out at the end... I'll be bringing a stack of paper targets as well as some laundry detergent jugs filled with water, but those go quick, so... Milk jugs and 2L soda bottles are quick and inexpensive reactive targets when filled with water (please fill before-hand, as there's no water near the range).

---

Also, if anyone has camera/video equipment I'd be more than grateful. I've got a couple of ideas I'd like to get on video, and would appreciate it if someone could run video for a few minutes when we get a moment. I'll be bringing my camera and tripod, but the more the merrier. Plus my battery doesn't last very long...

---

An e-mail will go out shortly with directions to the whole group (at least those I have e-mail addresses for, hint hint...). We're getting together at 10 and shooting until we get thrown out or fall over from heat exhaustion, so plan on a long (but fun!) day.

---

Ordnance can be found in one of the updates, as well as comments for several updates. I'm planning on bringing extra for everything I've got, but if you want to bring extra ammo, I'd say that 7.62X39mm (AK/SKS), 7.62X54mmR (Mosin Nagant M44 and M91/30), 12 gauge, 20 gauge, and pistol ammo (9mm, .38 Special, and .45 ACP) would be the safest bet.

---

E-mail's open for any questions. Also, if for any reason your name is on the list and you can't make it, please let me know ASAP. Thanks!

That is all.

In Case You Were Wondering...

...What Jay G. sounds like, you can go here, click Play, and listen. Sandwiched in between the awesome that is my favorite librarian and a new-to-me girl-gun-blogger Tracy of The Pretty Pistolera (love the title, Tracy, and sorry about the whole Kerry/Terry thing - as I mentioned, I was up past my bedtime... *g*), I tried to avoid sounding like a complete and total idiot, and think I succeeded for the most part.

I really like what Ahab and Squeaky are doing with the Gun Nuts: Next Generation podcasts (and not just because I'm a super Trek geek and like the title). They're expanding the market beyond the typical married-dad-with-two-kids demographic so aptly displayed, oh, here. This is the future of shooting sports here, folks, and it behooves us to support these endeavors whenever possible.

Good job Caleb, Squeaky, Breda, and Tracy! I'm glad I was a (small) part of it!

That is all.

Bloggershoot Pre-Update

Getting ready to send out directions (y'all are an impatient bunch, y'know what?) :)

I need e-mail addresses for Lissa and zeeke42.

(Request fulfilled. Thanks for responding!)

We've had one blogger cancel (Teresa from Technicalities) because of family issues (so put a good word in with the Man Upstairs if'n you don't mind); we've had two more readers express interest in attending.

Right now the tally stands at 15 people total, including yours truly and the range owner. I have sent the preliminary attendee list to him for approval; once it's okayed I'll send out the directions.

I will post a full update sometime tomorrow, and will attempt to summarize the ordnance in attendance. It's gonna be good...

T-minus 5 days and counting. I can't wait...

That is all.

Since We're On the Subject...

...of scooters, I just want to get out a hearty "fuck you" to the asswipe on the crotch rocket who passed me this morning.

Y'see, I was sitting in line in traffic, like the cagers, when he came roaring up between the two lanes (lane-splitting is not allowed in MA, and I don't think it's legal anywhere as a way to avoid sitting in traffic at traffic lights).

Light turned green, he nails the throttle and takes off at high speed, his bike whining in protest the whole way.

Whole scene couldn't have taken more than 10 seconds, tops, 15 if you count the amount of time spent waiting for the light.

And in those 10 seconds, probably 50 people got an unfavorable impression of motorcycle riders. I was tainted by association. Because this inconsiderate piece of shit felt he didn't have to wait, a whole mess 'o' people are going to paint all motorcyclists with his shitty brush.

Here's hoping you come up on a garbage truck going too fast, asshole. While your death would certainly be too quickly (and far too painless) for my liking, it's better that we get you the fuck out of the gene- and motorcycling- pool as quick as possible.

In short, fuck off and die, asshole.

That is all.

Scooter Trash Unite!

For tomorrow is National Ride-to-Work Day!

Ditch the cage. Take the bike. You know you want to. You know it saves money (we'll overlook the fact that it's good for Mother Earth, as we don't want to be confused with filthy hippies).

That is all.

Revelation...

Took a long motorcycle ride yesterday afternoon as a reward for suriving kid duty all weekend without selling either of them to the gypsies (is it just my two, or is there something in the air that is causing kids to go completely nucking futs these days???).

Intentionally aimed for NH (Live Free or Die, baby) so I could put the helmet in the saddlebag and enjoy the wind on my skull.

As I reflected on the choice (yeah, we can still make those, for now) to go lid-less for a change (and it was all backroads at 30-40MPH, no highway), I started thinking about a biker truism:

There are two types of bikers: Those that have crashed, and those that are going to crash.

(It's very similar to gunnies and negligent discharges).

As I watched the oncoming car with the left directional on with a suspicious eye, I started wondering if I was about to join the first group (I didn't; the car apparently did see me).

And then it hit me: I've had my crash. It was on a scooter, but it was still a crash...

I was 15 years old, too young for a driver's license, when my parents allowed me to purchase a 50 cc scooter (technically a moped, as it had pedals). IIRC, it was an ancient Motobecane with a top-mounted tank, resulting in a moped that looked like a little teeny motorcycle. In fact, I once got stopped by a registry cop who wanted to know why I wasn't wearing a helmet (wasn't needed for a moped/schooter) and insisted I show him that the bike could be pedaled. Oh yeah, lots of fun there - it's apparently geared to scale Mt. Everest...

So I'm puttering along down a recently paved back road. There's about a 3-4" drop on the side of the road where the new pavement begins (y'all can see where this is going, right?). A car approaches from behind. I move over to the right as far as I can...

...which was about an inch too far, because I dropped off the actual pavement and into the rough gravel on the side of the road...

Fortunately, the car sped around me as I bounced and jounced over the sand, dirt, and rocks, because I hit a boulder the size of Godzilla and wound up doing a double somersault into the road. At one point I think the moped achieved low-earth orbit.

Did I mention that I was wearing shorts, a tank top, and boat shoes at the time???

Somehow, by the grace of G-d, I had the presence of mind to tuck my head in to my chest as I rolled down the freshly-laid asphalt (which is r-o-u-g-h, thankyewverymuch). My head never actually touched the ground.

My arms and legs, however, didn't do so well - road rash in a bad way running up and down the fronts and backs of both arms, both legs, hands, back, shoulder blades; pretty much every piece of exposed skin I possessed (and the way it hurt, I think it actually imported extra skin for good measure).

So that's my crash story. Not as dramatic as many others, but it's mine.

(Of course, there was also the time I got off my Yamaha and forgot to put the kickstand down... But that was a crash only in the sense of the noise the bike made when it hit the parking lot...)

That is all...

Made of Win

Breda took her mom to the range.

Way too cool.

That reminds me... Since I'm going to (finally) have a membership at the local gun club, I need to step up my efforts to get my mom back into shooting (yes, back) and my sister and my cousin to try it out (both have express interest).

Add my son into the mix and there's a good chance I'll bring four new shooters on board this year.

Heh.

That is all.

More You Might Be...

You might be a gun nut if you have to take a day off from work to clean your guns.

Especially after a lengthy list of ordnance...

That is all...

Friday Gun Pr0n #67

Here's something that, numerically, should have appeared back in March:

This is an Ithaca Arms model M-49, a single-shot .22 (S/L/LR) operated not by bolt but by lever - you literally place the round on top of the action, work the lever to drop it into the chamber, then manually cock the hammer. No safety, no tubular magazine, just a single round sitting on top.

It's entirely unremarkable except for one thing: This will be my son's first gun. It's small (short) enough to fit his body; it's fairly heavy, which will soak up every last ounce of recoil; and there's so little to go wrong that it is, for all intents and purposes, indestructible. Which is good when talking about 7 year old boys...

As of August 4^th I'll (finally) be a member at a local (4 miles away!) gun club with a 100 yard rifle range, a 25 yard pistol range, and a 50 foot indoor range.

I expect to be posting my son's first range report next month. Another new shooter. In the Volksrepublik of Massa-fucking-chusetts. Ted Kennedy will cry.

That is all.

Life Imitates Steven Spielberg

Shark is reported off Martha's Vineyard

Lifeguards spotted what they believed was a great white shark off Martha's Vineyard yesterday, forcing the closing of beaches and prompting the inevitable references to "Jaws," the movie thriller that was filmed on the island.

The dorsal fin of the shark, sticking some 2 1/2 feet out of the water, was spotted 75 yards offshore at South Beach in Edgartown. Authorities received reports of other sightings along State Beach, on the island's northeast and the site of the opening scene of "Jaws."

What's even weirder is that we watched "Jaws" on AMC this past weekend...

It's just so weird [/Barbarino]

That is all.

About Damn Time!

In praise of bald men

He feels fantastic. Have you ever stroked a freshly-shaved head? If so, you know the basis for the adage “Once you go bald, you never go back!” Indeed, fans of bald dudes can have a very strong desire to touch and kiss their partners’ clean-shaven heads. “I’m crazy about the way it feels,” says one woman who wishes to remain anonymous.

[Bart] There's only one thing left to do: Strut.

I do have to take issue with this section, though:

He’s wash and go. Hair — as any woman knows from fussing with her own — requires copious grooming, and less maintenance can equal more masculine (sorry, I know it’s a stereotype but one that a lot of women I spoke to voiced!). “I don’t want to be with a man whose gel and mousse routine is more elaborate than mine,” says my friend Amy, who’s never seen her guy with a strand above his eyebrows. Am I guilty of buying my husband his first bottle of conditioner when he struggled with snarls during the early stages of his current great grow-out? Yes. But am I pleased to have more bathroom time to myself during his bald phase? Yup!

Uh, no. One of the biggest drawbacks to the shaved head is the amount of extra time I need to spend maintaining it. For optimal smoothness, it needs to be shaved with a blade every other day. That takes time (especially for giant craniums like yours truly possesses...)

However, it's about damn time we of the cleansed pate were recognized as the sexy beasts that we are...

That is all.

100K...

Looks like sometime late tonight or early tomorrow morning I'm going to hit 100K visits. This is, quite frankly, amazing - people have visited my blog on 100,000 occasions. I can't tell if it's the gun pr0n, the road rage rants, the biting political insight (hey, booger jokes count, right?), or the heartwarming tales of family life in the aughts. In any case, I am humbled that my insane rantings are worth your time.

I've put up over 700 posts in the past 16 months. Added countless blogs to my blogroll. Made tons of friends. The ROI is huge, to borrow a term from RL. And, to borrow a (trademarked) phrase from some guys who went to my alma mater, life is good.

To whoever makes the 100,000^th visit: Thank you. And that goes for whoever makes the 99,999^th visit, the 100,001^st visit, the... Well, you get the idea.

If we can ID the 100,000^th visitor, they can choose a post of their choice (within reason, I'm not gonna give out my full name or post nekkid pics of myself - stop shuddering...) and I'll see what I can do to accomodate.

That is all.

UPDATE:

Here's # 100,000 (Could it be Breda?):

Domain Name: sbcglobal.net

? (Network) IP Address: [REDACTED] (SBC Internet Services)

ISP: SBC Internet Services

Location:

Continent: North America
Country: United States
State: Ohio
City: Cleveland
Lat/Long: 41.4789, -81.6473 (Map)

Language: English (U.S.)en-us

Operating System: Microsoft WinXP

Browser: Firefox Mozilla/5.0
(Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.8.1.15) Gecko/20080623
Firefox/2.0.0.15
Javascript: version 1.5
Monitor Resolution: 1024 x 768
Color Depth: 32 bits

Time of Visit: Jul 11 2008 8:37:17 am

Last Page View: Jul 11 2008 8:37:32 am

Visit Length: 15 seconds

Page Views: 2

Referring URL: http://thebredafallacy.blogspot.com/

Visit Entry Page: http://stuckinmassac...usetts.blogspot.com/

Visit Exit Page: http://stuckinmassac...usetts.blogspot.com/

Out Click:

Time Zone: UTC-5:00

Visitor's Time: Jul 11 2008 8:37:17 am

Visit Number: 100,000

Quick Bloggershoot Update...

Let's see... most of the pertinent information can be found in last week's update. However, we have one new blogger coming, the delightful Theresa from Technicalities.

We also have an admonition from the range owner: Bring bug spray. Apparently during his July 4th celebration he was nearly carried off by skeeters with wingspans approaching that of a Piper Cub (his words).

Now that we're getting closer, it's time to talk ordnance... I'm planning on bringing things in threes:

Shotguns:
Saiga-20
Winchester 1300
Stevens model 31

Centerfire rifle:
VEPR .308
Mosin/Nagant 91/30
Third player to be named later - help me decide!

.22 rifle:
Remington 511
Marlin 39A
Remington Nylon 66

Handguns:
Ruger Security Six
Colt Gold Cup
Sig 226

(Might be a couple other handguns if folks are interested...)

Anything in particular anyone would like to try out? Any attendees have something unusual/crazy accurate/super tacti-cool they'd like to show off?

I'll need to know if I need to bring any exotic calibers...

That is all...

Clean BoH...

Alternate title: The Jay G. machine: zero defects

Saw the doc today after work for a routine check-up. Talk about a pleasant surprise - blood pressure is a comfortable 123/72; resting pulse is 65 BPM; weight is 176 pounds (down three pounds from last visit, actually).

Life is good. And I wonder who will get the reference in the alternate title...

That is all.

Fun With Sitemeter...

Lots of hits from people searching for info on Saiga shotguns...

Is there something going on I should be concerned about?

Or would now be a good time to sell the Saiga?

That is all...

Technological Bleg...

The time has come to get a new digital camera. Our old Canon Elph is on its last legs, and it's horrendously outdated (it takes Compact Flash cards, fer cryin' out loud!) - we bought it before my daughter (who just turned five) was born... I'm looking to pick something up in the ~ $250 or less range - no DSLR this time around.

Must-haves include:

• video (can you even get a digital camera these days that doesn't take some sort of video?)
• optical zoom preferably 4-6X, although more is certainly better
• AA batteries (the Canon runs on a proprietary battery, and it's a bitch to be taking pictures and see the "Low Battery Icon" kick on...)
• 7-8 Megapixels

It would be nice to if it took CF cards (since we have a bunch). I'm also assuming that most/all cameras come with standard macro/no flash/redeye/etc. features.

BJs has a wide range of cameras in my price range, from a Sony Cyber-Shot for $119 to an Olympus FE-340 for $189 to a sweet-looking Canon PowerShot for $239.

Anybody have other ideas/preferences/manufacturers or models to avoid or seek?

Thanks in advance.

That is all.

Summer Traffic...

Okay. I've made it [checking calendar] a little over two weeks into the summer before it came to this, but...

With the summer months come relaxed traffic - as a general rule - so the rants become fewer and farther between. With schools out and folks on vacation, there's less cars on the road as a matter of course; with skyrocketing gas prices there's even fewer than normal.

What this means to the MA drivers, of course, is that the idiot:normal driver ratio increases, because idiots don't know when to get the fuck off the road...

*Like the person dropping their kid off in front of me at the school's summer program who insisted on traveling at 20 mph on a state highway with a posted speed limit of 45 mph. Here's a friendly tip: Find the skinny pedal on the right. Push it down further. Or trade the Impala in on a moped.

*Once more, with feeling: If you cannot drive without the cell phone glued to your ear, stay the hell home. Your inattentiveness to the world around you is going to get someone killed (ideally you, but things rarely work that way).

*To the bicyclists: Yes, I know you're saving gas. Yes, I know you're saving the planet. Blah-dee-fucking-blah. Do not ride two abreast on narrow twisty roads. Those towing mirrors hurt like hell when they bounce off your dayglo helmets.

*To the motorcyclists: We all know it's summer. We all know you love your motorcycles. Hitting the rev limiter at 2:00AM going down my sleepy little street isn't going to win you any friends, but it will make lots of enemies. It's adrenaline junkies like you that make life hard for the rest of the motorcycling public. Please knock the shit off.

*Ditto the "Loud Pipes Save Lives" dudes. Uh, guys, no they don't. All loud pipes do is piss off the non-motorcycling public. Look, I love the deep throaty growl of a V-twin under acceleration, but there's no need for your potato-potato-potato to be heard three counties over. Cars today are pretty much soundproof, not to mention that it's hard to hear a bike with a cell-phone stuck to your ear anyways. It's not helping anything, and all it's going to do is make the next round of legislation come down harder on all of us.

*And another once more, with feeling: To the landscaping companies - HOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TRAILER LIGHTS. I'm not Kreskin the Magnificent who is able to divine when you're stopping, turning, or slowing. Hook up the lights. Make sure they work. Or buy a box truck. Seriously. Your name and phone number are on the side of the truck. It is VERY easy to dime you out. If needed, that is...

That is all.

Relief Is...

...finding out that the black dot on your daughter's leg is not, in fact, a tick, but rather a chocolate chip. Especially when the previous day was spent at a friend's house with tall grass field borders and a pond where we were fishing...

Beware the chocolate chip!

That is all.

Sing It With Me...

It sucks to be you,
It sucks to be you,
I've traveled around,
and finally found,
It sucks to be you...

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — Gunmen in a dangerous part of southern Afghanistan assassinated an Afghan lawmaker, while a roadside bomb militants were planting detonated prematurely, killing 10 Taliban, officials said Saturday.

Careful with that detonator, Achmed...

Heavy explosives: $100 on black market
Detonators: $50 from illicit channels
Knowing how to put the two together: Priceless.

That is all.

Independence Day

Just thought this was appropriate today:

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with
another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God
entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its
powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. — Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary
for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to
attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records,
for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his
measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected, whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our people and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefit of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws and
altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation, and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & Perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of
their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless
Indian Savages whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered
only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free
people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature
to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have
conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States, that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. — And
for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

— John Hancock

New Hampshire:Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts:John Hancock, Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island:Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut:Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York:William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey:Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania:Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware:Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland:Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia:George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina:William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina:Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia:Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

That is all.