About That Driving...

Oddly enough, this has nothing to do with snow, even though schools were closed yesterday because we had a dusting that didn't even stick (not kidding, BTW).

No, we need to have a discussion about green lights. Specifically, how to act when you approach one. You see, there's this intersection I come to every day where I - and many other commuters - take a right. There's a traffic light, and our side has two lanes turning left. The other side of the intersection is a dead end and often only has one or two cars.

Well, the geniuses that set up the intersection put both left turns on the same light. Which means that the light stays that way for quite some time, as the cars on our side are numerous, while the other side is done quickly. You would think this would mean a lot more on our side would make it through the red light (after stopping , of course), RIGHT?

Ha!

People can't even make it through a green light here. The road we cross is a main drag, and there are two lanes turning left into where I am. This means my light has a green arrow, since no traffic is coming anywhere near the lane (my lane) turning right. Again, you would think that making a right turn on a green arrow would be easy.

You would be wrong.

It frequently takes two light cycles to get through this light, because cars often leave 5, 6, 7, or more car lengths getting through the light. Often, one car turns, and is a good pace down the road before the next car turns. On a green light...

Right turn on a green light is not hard, people...

That is all.

Close Encounters of the Vehicular Kind

So, this morning I had a very close call on the drive into work. As I changed lanes from the left lane to the middle lane (which was clear), the car in front of me decided to do the same. He didn't leave exactly enough room to accomplish this, but I saw him starting to move and had already applied the brakes in anticipation of getting cut off.

Then the guy in front of him did the same thing. 

Except he saw the cars now in the middle lane, panicked, and stopped. Yes, stopped. Guy in front of me slammed on his brakes, I slammed on mine. Hard. Launched my lunch bag off the passenger seat onto the floor and everything. I heard the brakes lock up, and everything went into slow motion as the back end of the Jeep in front of me got closer and closer.

Fortunately, the truck's brakes held, and I stopped about 6 inches from the guy in front of me. Six inches isn't an awful lot of space, especially when it's all that stands between you and a very expensive accident report. It's a reminder that the unexpected can happen literally any time, and that being prepared isn't something you do once in a while, when you're thinking about it.

It's also a reminder that we can't anticipate everything. I counted on the guy in front of me cutting me off; I didn't expect the guy in front of him to do the same, then panic and stop (on the highway, because that's a smart thing to do, right?) While I was ready for one thing, another caught me by surprise. Fortunately, I'm a big believer in keeping safety equipment in good working order, and the truck's tires and brakes were up to the task. What could have been an expensive accident turned into a story, instead.

Be careful out there. Idiots are everywhere.

That is all.

Life Imitates "Mad Max"

You don't see a headline like this every day...

Gang of bikers attack driver in front of family after high-speed chase

An unidentified 30-year-old man was attacked in front of his wife in child in New York City after his vehicle was pursued by a gang of motorcyclists in a high speed chase.

It is not clear what started the altercation, but a video apparently taken by one of the bikers shows the gang surrounding the man’s Range Rover SUV on Manhattan’s West Side Highway Monday afternoon, the New York Post reports.

There is very little to go on from the article, so it's not clear if the SUV started it or the motorcycles did. I will note that you have to be pretty fucking stupid to challenge an SUV with a motorcycle, so my money's on the bikers. However, I have a general dislike of Range Rovers to begin with, so it's quite possible that yuppie trash who think they're better than everyone else because their SUV costs more than some homes started the altercation - you know "those peasants on their motorized scooters will have to make way for my large expensive sports-utility vehicle"...

Where the bikers attacked the vehicle and caused physical damage to both the vehicle and the occupants, they're going to have a hard time proving that the driver wasn't in fear for his life when he pushed the bikes out of the way earlier. Establishing a propensity for violence isn't a great way to prove that you're the innocent victim in all this, but again, there's a decided lack of evidence. While it's possible that these are rogue, "Mad Max"-esque bikers out to terrorize some poor urban family, it's equally likely that some urban professional decided to use his vehicle's heavier curb weight to ignore the laws of traffic and merge into a line of bikes.

The one clear lesson from this story, IMHO, is that in road rage incidents, there are no winners, just survivors...

That is all.

Another dispatch from...

(image courtesy of Robb Allen)

A Few Things...

...I got daytrippers to the left of me;
campers to the right;
here I am;
Stuck in traffic until noon...

-with apologies to Steeler's Wheels

Man o man. Traffic today is completely @$$tacular. I would have thought that things would have died down this far into the summer - the traffic today, on a random, non-holiday weekend, is worse than I remember from when I used to go up to Maine every holiday weekend in the summer - and that was pre-EZPass...

Just a few thoughts from being stuck in traffic for nearly an hour...

If you ride up my bumper and stay there until I pull into the right lane (once it is safe to do so), and then proceed to pull up next to me and then camp in my blindspot, you are an @$$hole.

If you stop for no reason whatsoever in the middle of the damn road, do not signal, do not do anything other than stop all forward movement, yes, I am going to use my horn. Don't look surprised that folks don't take kindly to your driving by Braille.

When the signs are up for three whole damn miles, it should not surprise you that the left two lanes are EZPass only. Don't slam on your brakes fifty feet before the split and then try to move over three lanes. At least not until I can get the Death Ray From Space operational.

Dear state transportation officials: whoever's bright idea it was to declare a random section of highway a "construction zone" despite having absolutely ZERO evidence of construction deserves to be removed from office. Preferably with a catapult.

Yes, I will go around you on the right if you camp in the left lane going 10 MPH under the speed limit. The only things you were passing were the signs that say "Keep Right Except To Pass".

There's a lot of stupid out there, folks - be careful and stay safe.

That is all.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Road Rage...

Oh, when we will Americans wake up? When will we finally realize that guns and cars don't mix? When will we finally admit that our archaic Second Amendment is leading to pain and suffering from out-of-control road rage a holics that can't control their emotions? Why can't we be more like civilised Europe, which doesn't have problems like this:

Germany motorway shooter 'motivated by bad driving'

Police in Germany say the man they have arrested over more than 700 motorway shootings fired at other vehicles because of anger over bad driving.

The 57-year-old lorry driver was held in a raid in western Germany on Sunday. Officers say he led them to a cache of firearms.

700 shootings over a span of five years. Now, he was only targeting the automobiles, and presumably in areas where the shot wouldn't immediately cause the car to stop moving or anything (i.e. no shooting out the windshield of someone tailgating him). And, apparently, in Europe, two firearms is a cache. There are times when I am out in public with a cache. Imagine that...

Not to mention that if this dude thought German drivers were bad, it's a good thing he didn't drive in Boston - he'd have been looking for a bazooka in no time...

That is all.

Tip 'o' the keyboard to Gerry for the story!

Let's Go Over This One More Time...

Apparently, folks need a refresher course. You see, it's raining. It rains on a pretty regular basis here in New England, not as much as, say, Seattle or London, but still pretty regularly. Even so, people simply lose their damn minds when any precipitation falls from the sky - and this is never more evident than when they climb behind the wheel of an automobile. With that in mind, here's some friendly tips from your humble host for MA drivers...

• I know I've said it before, but tailgating me at a distance of approximately 8 microns isn't going to get me to go any faster when there are two cars in front of me. I'm not going to start pushing. All you're going to accomplish by drafting off my truck is to make sure I obey the speed limit the entire trip, stop for every crosswalk, and let everyone I can in front of me.
• On the complete opposite side, if you can't achieve more than 25 MPH in a 40 MPH zone, perhaps you ought to re-evaluate your particular skill set when it comes to operating a two ton motor vehicle. If you cannot keep up with the flow of traffic, perhaps it's time to sell the GM Land Yacht and invest in the senior bus.
• Note to garbage trucks: The road we're on is easily two lanes wide on both sides. Stopping in the dead center so that you can pick up the gargbage is a dick move, I don't care who you are. We're still going to go around you, we just have to cross the center line to do so now. You're the lucky guy - the guy driving the truck, not slinging the rubbish - if you piss off enough people who complain, guess what?
• Directionals. Use them. Slamming on your brakes for no apparent reason is not a good way to endear yourself to the remainder of the motoring public. Are you turning? Do you have vehicular Tourettes? Who knows? Stay tuned as we spin the Wheel 'O' Random Driving!
• Note to HVAC box van: Parking your large, cubular box van around a corner around a hill? BRILLIANT! Everyone has to slam on their brakes and come to a dead stop right by your van, because they can't see around you. They'll be sure to note the company name so they know who to curse as they have to slow to crawl to get around your inconsiderately parked truck. Dumbass.
• And, lastly, pedestrians. Folks, if you're trying to cross the road less than 15 feet from a crosswalk, I will aim my towing mirror squarely at your noggin. Step off that curb in the crosswalk and I will stop every damn time. If you are too lazy to walk the extra 10 steps down the sidewalk to the crosswalk, though, I ain't stopping. This is 100X worse if you have kids with you - great lesson you're setting there.

I think that about covers it for today...

That is all.

I Wholeheartedly Support This Measure...

Joseph in IL sent this in. I hope this is a trend that will sweep the nation...

Will it become illegal to drive slow in the fast lane? In Florida it might

How many times have you cursed at drivers crawling along in the fast lane, way below the posted speed limit? It must be one of the most frustrating circumstances you can encounter when driving, not to mention the innate dangers it presents. If there’s ever a situation that could provoke road rage, it’s being held up by an ignorant motorist, pointlessly blocking the passing lane. But if you live in Florida, this issue could potentially be solved, as the Florida House and Senate have passed a bill that would make it illegal to drive slowly in the fast lane.

The so-called “road rage” bill is reportedly years in the making, and it was pushed through, in part, by Sen. Jeff Brandes of St. Petersburg: “I think it’s going to make us a little bit safer,” Brandes predicts.

Honestly, this is nothing new. New Hampshire has had "speed minimums" for a long time - although in NH it's 20 MPH under the posted speed limit on the highway. Do they need a new law? I'm guessing there's no "keep right except to pass" regulation on the books - that might take care of things on its own. I'm also certain that there are other traffic regulations that could be used in place of this - impeding the flow of traffic, creating a nuisance, etc. - but to see it called out specifically means they're targeting those that slow down traffic excessively just as they target those that drive too fast.  

From the perspective of someone who rides a motorcycle, this is great news. I'm always nervous when there's a clog in the fast lane, because watching a large SUV roar up on my rear wheel is not high on my list of "things I want to see in my rear view mirrors". I'd prefer to see this more of a measure intended to make people think about not squatting in the passing lane than a revenue-generation tool - but then again, if you're habitually sitting in the passing lane going 10 under the speed limit when there's no one in the right lane, you deserve a ticket.  

Lead, follow, or get the hell outta the way...  

That is all.

Helpful Winter Driving Tips...

After the third snowstorm in as many weekends, I figured it was time for a refresher course on how to drive in snow.

• If you clear off only what snow can be reached by your windshield wipers, you are a lazy cretin. Driving down the road with large hunks of snow flying off your car is both rude and dangerous. Although I do have to admit to a certain degree of smug satisfaction when your panic braking (from tailgating me) results in the entire contents of your roof being deposited on your windshield...
• Note to snowplows: Yes, I know I make this point every single storm, but just because you bolted a 7' Fisher to the front of your 1993 Silverado doesn't give you immunity from either traffic laws or physics. If you back out into the street without looking, you're going to cause or wind up in an accident. Having the name of the landscaping company to which the trucks belong plastered all over the side won't help win you any customers, either.
• In a parking lot: Just because there are 15 snowflakes on the ground doesn't mean that you can park anywhere you want. The handicap spaces still have a large sign in front of them designating them thusly; just because the sign on the ground is covered doesn't mean the spot is up for grabs. Also, try to park less than three time zones away from the car next to you, thanks.
• To the folks walking: I don't know what planet you live on, but here on earth it's not a great idea to walk two abreast with your back to traffic out in the street. Yes, I know the sidewalks have not be adequately cleared to walk on; I empathize there. However, going for your morning power walk when you have to walk with traffic is just begging to take a mirror off the back of the head, especially when you hear the car coming and make no attempt whatsoever to move out of the middle of the travel lane. See note #2: you are not immune to physics.
• I don't know how many times I have to say it, but I will apparently have to keep saying it until it starts to sink in. If you are traveling up a hill in a snowstorm, DO NOT STOP. Stopping is the enemy. Momentum is your friend. If you stop, it is highly likely you will not be able to continue progressing up the hill, and will have to crab-slide sideways down the hill as you attempt to power skid your way forward. While it is highly amusing to those of us who can drive in the snow, you're in the damn way.

I think that covers it for now.

That is all.

Random Road Thoughts...

Just some random ideas from recent excursions...

• Folks, you know what's a tremendously bad idea? Slamming on your brakes when going downhill in the snow. You're much better off downshifting (and yes, you can do this in an automatic transmission vehicle) or just letting the engine brake for you). Just because your car might have the fanciest traction control system doesn't mean everyone does, and while you might not be at fault of the guy behind you slams into you, you might also be dead.
• Dear plow operators: Die in a fire. Seriously. You know who likes those foot+ tall snow bumps you leave when you plow a driveway straight out? NO ONE. Don't be a dick, jack@$$ - take five seconds and clear that s**t from the roadway when you're done. I don't snowblow my driveway into the road. Don't plow into the road. Also, I know I post this every year, but just because you have a plow on the front of your truck doesn't mean you are immune from traffic laws. Backing out into the street without looking or stopping is a pure jerk move, and is going to lead to bad, bad things someday.
• I'm still trying to figure out why some people are utterly incapable of utilizing a rotary. It's very simple. If you are IN the rotary, you have the right-of-way. If you are ENTERING the rotary, you do not and must yield. Stopping IN the rotary just brings EVERYTHING to a standstill. This is not a difficult concept, yet I watch people fail to understand it every damn day...
• Tailgating. Look, if I'm going 10 MPH over the speed limit and you're tailgating me, it will only accomplish one thing: I will drop my speed down to exactly the speed limit. If I'm going slow because someone in front of me is going slow, riding my bumper isn't going to make them go any faster. All tailgating me is going to do is piss me off, and I'll make sure I continue going slow just to piss you off. And if you try to pass me, I've got 350 horsepower that says you don't make it...
• Lastly... I am almost ashamed to admit this, but I finally, after almost six years of owning my truck, put some weight in the back for the winter. I went to Home Despot, bought four five gallon buckets and four 50 lb. bags of rocksalt, and for under $50 had 200 pounds of weight in the back of the truck. Makes starting and stopping on slippery terrain a LOT easier. Previously, I had relied on the 4WD, which works great, mind you - but it's not always needed all the time.

More random observations as they come...

That is all.

I KNEW IT!

Joseph in IL sends in a story that confirms a suspicion I have long held...

Gridlock Traced to Just a Few Key Commuters

Canceling some car trips from just a few strategically located neighborhoods could drastically reduce gridlock and traffic jams in cities, a new study suggests.
...
Based on their analysis, the researchers suggest that certain neighborhoods in these urban areas were home to drivers that caused major congestion. The scientists found that canceling just 1 percent of trips from these neighborhoods could drastically reduce travel time that was otherwise added due to congestion.

IOW, it really is just a handful of dumbasses that screws up the commute for everyone. What gets me about this study is that they used all kinds of smartphone data and other sundry technological advances, when all they had to do was ask, oh, anyone that drove these popular routes. The parts in Massachusetts that are problematic do not surprise me whatsoever; I've been on the highways that run through most of these areas and can attast to the correctness of this study.

The more interesting part of the picture, though, is in why these areas are problematic. If I were a betting man, I'd say the areas that had the worst traffic problems are most likely too small to have a significant public transportation presence, yet large enough for a population that can clog the roadways. It would be interesting to track this data over many years, to see if these problem areas change as population changes.

It is fascinating, though, to hear validation of a theory I've long held: most of the traffic problems are caused by a small group of @$$holes...

That is all.

It's That Time of Year...

I think I mentioned that it was snowing today, right? Obviously, this means that the drivers on the road in Massachusetts completely and utterly lose their ever-lovin' minds. There's a light smattering of snow on the road, not even enough to be considered a dusting, yet folks are out there driving around like there's a foot of slushy, icy crud making driving a life-or-death proposition.

Folks, here's a tip. If I, driving my 350 horsepower rear-wheel driver pick-up truck with no weight in the back, have no trouble with the weather conditions, your fancy $75K AWB German luxo-SUV status symbol won't, either. If the conditions are not severe enough to warrant me kicking over into 4WD - which I will happily do if it even vaguely hints that there might be a weather-related traction issue - then you really don't have to go 45 MPH in the middle lane of the highway...

Honestly, if the prospect of driving in snow so positively terrifies you such that you have to ride your brakes going up a hill, you might want to consider simply staying home. If you really need to straddle the right-and center lane - even though both are perfectly clear - while traveling 15 MPH under the speed limit, maybe you should have a friend drive. Or call a cab. Anything but drive, mind you, because you are a screaming yellow menace to yourself and everyone around you with the panic braking, drifting, and weaving. It's snowing. It snows here. Learn it. Live with it.

Or get the hell out of my way...

That is all.

Only In Massachusetts...

You know, I'd laugh, except that I'm too busy shaking my head about this story sent in by PISSED:

Highway safety chief has history of accidents, speeding violations

BOSTON — The Massachusetts Highway Safety Division director has lost her job after a newspaper reported that her driving record included seven accidents, four speeding violations and one failure to wear a seat belt.

The Boston Globe reported that Sheila Burgess has 34 entries on her driving record since 1982.

Burgess has been on leave since she suffered a head injury in a one-car crash in Milton in August. She told police she swerved off the road to avoid an oncoming vehicle and wasn't cited.

Got that? She's got a crappy driving record and has been on paid leave for three months over an accident that was her fault - as I was told, after my own single car accident, no matter what the circumstances, a single car accident is universally considered to be the driver's fault unless extenuating circumstances are shown. 34 entries since 1982 sounds bad but could be a string of minor moving violations, so without further info that's a wash.

However, another article points out a couple other pertinent facts, like that she had a failure to appear in a NH court over a driving offense in 2000 and that her license until recently was suspended for failure to pay her excise tax. This is not someone that had a bad run as a teenager but has been clean the past 20 years - she's been a lawbreaker and a crappy driver her entire life. Now, look, I've had my share of mishaps - a couple speeding tickets and a few at-fault accidents - but then, I'm not the $87K/year head of the highway safety division, either.

Only in Massachusetts would we put someone with a worse driving record than Ted Kennedy in charge of highway safety...

That is all.

Getaway Vehicle: Doin' It Wrong

Thought this might be good for a chuckle...

Man leads police on chase in stolen ice cream truck

WORCESTER, Mass. (WHDH) -- A man is accused of stealing an ice cream truck and using it to lead police on a slow-speed chase in Worcester.

Police chased the man through streets of Worcester, Leicester and into nearby Charlton; all in pursuit of a stolen ice cream delivery truck.

Now, for extra bonus points, tell me how the second city name there is pronounced...

I got nothing else, really; just thought this was so hysterically stupid that it had to be shared. I like the part about how the dude stopped and bought beer - parking the stolen ice cream truck outside the liquor store - before continuing on his way. Because nothing says "low-key" like a five-ton refrigerator truck with ice cream all over the side, right?

There's a downside, of course - the two front tires were blown out in the effort to stop the truck, and they had to break the driver's window to get the guy out. Can't say I blame the cops - that's the kind of truck that could really do some damage had the guy decided to get belligerent, and he locked himself in the cab (maybe to enjoy his beers before going to jail?). Then again, for the price of a set of tires and a window, they have their truck back in one piece - and no news footage of some drunken idiot smashing cars with their ice cream truck.

Yep. More fun from the MA roadways - first drunken doctors, now pilfered ice cream trucks...

That is all.

Road Rage Is Universal...

A bunch of people sent me this story. I think I would actually burst a blood vessel and die on the spot if I ever witnessed something like this happening. Either that or chase the stupid bint down in my truck and reduce her vehicle to a smoking hulk...

Ohio woman who drove on sidewalk to avoid school bus ordered to wear 'idiot' sign

CLEVELAND – A woman caught on camera driving on a sidewalk to avoid a Cleveland school bus that was unloading children will have to stand at an intersection wearing a sign warning about idiots.

Court records show a Cleveland Municipal Court judge on Monday ordered 32-year-old Shena Hardin to stand at an intersection for two days next week. She will have to wear a sign saying: "Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus."

I have to post the video. You absolutely have to see this to believe it:



BTW, the building she was driving on the sidewalk in front of? It's a day care.

I'm certain the entire punishment will be appealed and thrown out on the basis of being cruel and unusual, but kudos to the judge for daring to think outside the box. I would have liked to have seen mandatory driver re-training as well, but I guess that would be asking too much.

Just when you think you've seen everything...

That is all.

Important Safety Tip...

If you are following me so closely that I cannot see your car's HOOD, I doubt you will be able to stop in time if there were to be an emergency stop. And trust me on this one, your Malibu will lose a collision with my class IV receiver hitch. You'll be pulling it out of your engine block if I happen to see a SQUIRREL crossing the street. There's a reason we're supposed to follow at a safe distance - and why there's a traffic citation for tailgating.

Or you could take your chances smashing into the three ton pickup truck - but physics do not lie, and you will lose...

That is all.

Oopsie, Part II

Police: 100-year-old driver hits 11 near LA school

LOS ANGELES — The screams of women and children didn't cause a 100-year-old driver to stop as he backed his large powder blue Cadillac onto a sidewalk across from an elementary school and hit 11 people, including nine children.

So people began pounding on his windows screaming for him to stop, a witness said.

11 kids hurt by a centenarian driver. Naturally, the brakes were blamed - although in this case, there was no "sudden acceleration" when he applied the brakes, as is usually claimed; rather he says that the brakes failed. Given that the vehicle shown is of 1980s vintage or thereabouts, if the brakes were bad, it's his own fault for not maintaining his safety equipment.

But, really? 100 years old and still driving? If the faculties are still there, there shouldn't be any reason why not. But to back out of a parking space, continue across the street, up over a sidewalk, and to be running over kids to the point where people have to pound on your window to get you to stop? No, you shouldn't be driving at that point.

That's not bad brakes. Even with zero brakes at all, jamming the gearshift into park will stop the car immediately at that speed. That's an inability to tell gas from brake, to see one's surroundings, as well as not being able to react to events in a timely manner. That's someone who has no business whatsoever holding a license. Heck, his kids are probably too old to have licenses...

Be careful out there, folks - especially those of you in the "we give anyone a license" states like CA or MA...

That is all.

This Is Going On Your Review...

Wow. Here is the union mindset on display for all to see.

MBTA Bus Hits Parking Supervisor In Kenmore Square

BOSTON (CBS) – An MBTA bus hit a parking supervisor and several cars in Kenmore Square during rush hour Thursday morning.

It began around 8:20 a.m. when the bus driver parked in the left turning lane that takes traffic from Commonwealth Avenue onto Brookline Avenue.

Why did she park in a turning lane? Why, it was her break time, of course! When told to move by a "parking supervisor" (I believe that is the new politically correct term for what used to be called "meter maid"), she refused, continuing to eat her breakfast instead. The parking supervisor started writing her a ticket, so, naturally, she did what anyone else with a cushy union gig would do.

She put the bus in gear and tried to run her over.

Now, had you or I been parked where this bus was parked, I strongly doubt we'd have gotten a warning. I suspect a ticket would have been written immediately as well as a tow truck dispatched to move the vehicle. The bus driver was given a warning, refused the warning, and only *then* was the ticket process started - that's a HUGE difference over what the average person would face.

It will be interesting to se how this shakes out. The bus driver should be fired and charged with attemped murder or at least assault with a deadly weapon. I'd be surprised if she got anything more than a note in her file - which will be removed after a grievance is filed with the union. She's got "protected" status - union and all that - so she knows she has nothing to fear.

There's a reason that MA keeps getting voted "worst drivers in the US"...

That is all.

Notes From The Road...

It's been a while since I put up one of these posts. Apparently there were concurrent accidents on the two major highways that parallel my ride to work, dumping a whole bunch of folks with no idea where they were into my normal commute. With that said, it was extra challenging today, especially with the following people I encountered:

• The soccer mom in the white SUV yammering away on her cell phone some 2-3 microns from my bumper. I was really hoping for a new tow hitch.
• For a good length of time, I was behind Snow Miser - you know, "he's Mister Ten Below"...
• To the jackass in the pristine Lexus: There was nobody on the road behind me (the vehicle directly behind you) for *miles* - you didn't have to stop dead in the middle of the road to let the ONE car out of the side street. Moron.
• On the other hand, watching another soccer mom in a grey SUV also yammering away on her cell phone slam on her brakes so hard she bounced the wheel wells off her tires when she realized she was about to blow through a stop sign directly into the path of a three ton Dodge Earthf**ker was priceless.
• Traffic circles, rotaries, roundabouts; whatever you may call them, either learn how to use them - i.e. don't stop dead in the middle of the damn thing - or avoid them.
• If the light turns red while I'm still a good 15 feet away from it, I'm stopping - all the honking in the world isn't going to make me run the red light.
• There *is* a no-texting rule just passed in MA, right? You'd never know it from seeing people on the roadways...

There are times - usually when it's cost me more than a C-note to fill the tank - that I wish I had a smaller vehicle. Today makes me appreciate the Earthf**ker...

That is all.

My Readers Know Me...

Libertyman sends this one in:



Robert Loggia taking care of a tailgater. It's a perfect storm of WIN!

That is all.

Notes from the Road...

• To the hipster in the Honda Element with the Obama 2012 sticker: Cutting off a 3 ton pickup, no matter how much its carbon footprint offends you, is not a viable long-term strategy. Eventually someone is going to introduce you and your micro-ute to the cold, harsh laws of physics, whereby a 1 ton object gets demolished by a 3 ton object. Pulling out in front of me (when there's no one behind me, mind you) so quickly that I feel the antilock brakes engage is not the way to convert people to your cause. Just in your honor, I'm going to run the truck out in the driveway for a half-hour tonight. Up yours, Gaia!
• To the Lance Armstrong wanna-be who insisted that "bikes are traffic": No, you're not, especially when you ignore stop signs, painted lines, and pedestrians. Had you actually passed the school bus with its lights on, I would have bounced my towing mirror off your multi-colored helmet. You looked like you had every intention of doing so, which would have put you right through a crowd of elementary school children, until the nice person in the Camry drove her car just about onto the sidewalk to block you. You can't have it both ways: you can't ride your $2K bike down the center of the road because you are traffic and then scoot over the double yellow line to go around the line of cars waiting at the stop sign only to ride right through the four way without even breaking stride. See above note about learning physics, only you won't even scratch someone's paint.
• To the imbeciles that will stop and let someone into traffic even though there's nothing behind them: Seriously, grow a brain. If there's nothing but air behind your car, it takes longer for you to come to a stop and wave the person out than it does to just keep going and let them turn in your wake. I know you think you're being a good person and all, but you're just contributing to the general gridlock with your idiocy. If there's a line of cars behind you, sure thing. If not, just go.
• To folks that don't stop for pedestrians in a crosswalk: Bad, bad juju headed your way. I know sometimes it's tough - I've stopped plenty of times for someone carrying on a cell phone conversation on the edge of the sidewalk - but make the effort. Reward the folks that take the time to walk the extra ten feet down the sidewalk and use the crosswalk - especially if they have kids with them, because they're teaching the kids the right thing to do. The converse is also true: If you are a pedestrian and you can't be bothered to walk the extra 10-15 feet to the crosswalk, don't expect me to stop for you.
• Lastly, to the jackass who gave me the finger for honking at him: If you hadn't sat at the green light for five whole seconds without giving any indication you were going to tear yourself away from texting, I wouldn't have honked. Pay attention to your surroundings and there won't be any need for people to honk because you're sitting at a green light breathing through your mouth. Maybe it made you feel extra special about yourself to drive really slowly to "teach that guy a lesson", but you wouldn't have to be in the position of handing out "lessons" if you paid f**king attention. Moron.

And just think! In another month or so we'll be adding snow to this mix! Yay!

That is all.