'Tis The Season...

Over the long weekend, we continued a tradition begun some fifteen years prior, decorating the house:

I try to keep it somewhat tasteful, no Clark Griswold "planes-trying-to-land-it's-so-bright" 20,000 lights or anything, but enough to be festive. Believe it or not, everything - electrical cords included - fits in one box. Yes, I'm *that* guy - I have boxes (all labeled, of course) for all the decorating holidays. Thanksgiving, Easter, Halloween; they all have a box in the garage. Christmas has, well, many boxes...

That leads me to one of the things I really like about this house - the previous occupant built some serious shelves in the garage. I'm talking 2X4 construction with 3/4-inch plywood. You could park a small car on these shelves. The top level gets filled with Christmas boxes, so that every year it's a simple matter of grabbing the ladder, dropping the boxes down, and running them into the house. In the old house, we had everything in a section of the (very crowded) basement, so that getting the decorations involved moving a whole bunch of boxes and then carrying things up a rickety set of stairs...

I told you all that so I could show you this:

I posted this picture on Facebook yesterday. It got a bunch of light-hearted comments to the effect of "is there a tree under there?" and, well, I guess that's what happens after 20 Christmases together. We started out in a tiny apartment with a 3-foot tree from WalMart, which lasted us some four years until we moved into the house. At that point, I had a pickup truck and we had both spare time and money, so for our first Christmas together in the new house, we got a real tree.

But not just any real tree, mind you. This was a "cut your own" tree deal, but not just any cut your own. You see, the nursery where we got the tree has an event mid-October where you come in and tag your Christmas tree. You search the rows and rows of trees until you find the perfect one, then tag it for retrieval later. Over Thanksgiving weekend you show up and cut it down, transport it home and then keep it on life support until Christmas.

Seriously, I think (formerly) live trees go through 5 - 10 gallons of water a day. We had a huge plastic base that held about a gallon of water, and wound up filling it numerous times a day. For four weeks. And I think it actually shed more needles than it possessed. It was bringing them in from alternate dimensions using an old "Star Trek" transporter gag...

Our daughter's first Christmas was the last time we had a real tree. Juggling two small kids, an SUV rather than a pickup, and a dwindling amount of time and excess money, we opted for the convenience of a fake tree. Oh, sure, it doesn't have the panache of a real tree, but you know what else it doesn't have? Sap. Or bugs. Or the potential to turn into a blazing inferno if exposed to the slightest spark. We went plastic and never looked back.

And looking at our tree now? I'm glad we did. The accumulated ornaments of 15 Christmases with kids more than cover the tree - we have a 4-foot tree in the formal living room facing the street that has our "overflow" ornaments on it (and it's jam-packed, too). While it might not smell like a real tree (the Mrs. grabbed one of those plug-in air fresheners to combat that), it also takes literally minutes to retrieve from storage and set up, as compared to hours for a real tree. Once up it requires exactly zero maintenance. And cost wise? $100 one time that we've gotten 12 years out of at this point compared to $35 a year. No brainer.

At some point down the road, once the kids have gone off to college, we might look into a real tree again. Especially here in VA, where it can often be in the 60s in late November when it comes time to get the tree, unlike up in MA where it can frequently be in the 20s. Then again, we might just keep the fake tree and enjoy the extra time and money...

Whether you do fake tree, real tree, or no tree, have a great holiday season everyone!

That is all.

More Christmas Tunes...

You know I don't do anything normal...



First time I heard this, they played in like October. I heard it start on the radio and was dumbfounded to hear Christmas music that early.

Then the sound of bombs dropping played...

That is all.

Will Wonders Never Cease...

I finished my holiday shopping* yesterday. December 14th. There have been years when I didn't even start my Christmas shopping until December 14th. Heck, there were a couple years where I didn't start until the date started with a "2". This is a milestone for me, and I'm not sure if it's a good sign or not...

It's funny how your perception of things changes as you get older. When you're a kid (read: pre-teen), Christmas the grand-high exalted holiday, full of presents and chocolate. The countdown begins sometime after Halloween, and after Thanksgiving it gets into full swing. For a good solid month it's nothing but nail-biting anticipation.

Then you hit the teen years, and start having to buy presents for people. All of a sudden, this wonderful holiday starts to become work. Oh, sure, it' still pretty awesome, because you get presents and candy and all that, but there's now a price tag attached: you need to start thinking about others. Funny, that. This continues throughout your teenage years and into your 20s. Until...

You have kids of your own. Then the full magic of Christmas hits you all over again. When you see the pure, unmitigated joy in your child's eyes at a house lit up with Christmas lights or seeing Santa on a firetruck, you're five years old again yourself. You go from believing in Santa to not believing to becoming Santa. And that is both awesome and terrifying.

The saddest Christmas of my life was the first one where both kids had stopped believing.

But yeah. Somewhere along the line I became a grownup. Rather than getting together with a couple good friends the weekend before Christmas and making a grueling day of shopping, most of my shopping is done online. More and more retailers are realizing this and offering incentives like free shipping to entice the digital crowd. Between not having to fight the crowds at the malls and not having to drive all over creation in traffic (I do that enough Monday through Friday!), I'll even pony up for shipping when I have to...

Done with Christmas shopping on December 14th. If the 20-something me had ever been told that, he'd have laughed hysterically. Online shopping was in its infancy back then (boy, I wish I'd thought to grab a piece of Google or Amazon when they first started, eh?), and brick-and-mortar still ruled the Christmas roost. I'm not sure what the breakdown is overall, but I know that of my shopping, only gift cards were purchased in a store.

And now I've got over a week and a half to relax and watch all the other panicking... 

That is all.

*No, I'm not being politically correct. One of the presents I purchased is a Chanukah present...

Christmas Music...

'Tis the season. It just ain't Christmas until I hear some old favorites...


"Christmas in Hollis," Run DMC. Immortalized in that wonderful Christmas movie, "Diehard." Always been a fan of Run DMC.


"Twelve Days of Christmas," The Mackenzie Brothers. Take off, eh?


"Christmas Eve in Sarajevo," Trans Siberian Orchestra. Or, as SCI-FI likes to call it, "Christmas music, if it were performed by Klingons.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

That is all.

So This Is Christmas...

No, I'm not going to post that insipid John Lennon song. That and the '80s Live Aid dreck "Do They Know It's Christmas", I mean, really, could they *get* more patronizing?

No, this past weekend we decorated the new house for Christmas. Last year, we moved at Christmas - we signed on the 23rd of December, and all of our worldly possessions arrived the next day. Yes, we were unpacking boxes on Christmas Eve. We had a tree - I went to Target and bought a pre-lit, 4' tall Christmas tree so the kids would have something - and presents (we're not savages), but the house wasn't really decorated for Christmas.

That's the front. I had extra lights and another timer, so I hit the back as well:

Yeah, it's not much, but it's something. And I wanted to point out that on the last day of November, I was out in the backyard cooking on the grill. I kinda dig this Virginia thing a little...

TheBoy is 13. He'd rather play Madden '15 or watch "Family Guy" than trim the Christmas tree, but we did manage to enlist his help for a period of time. I remember being a 13 year old boy at Christmas. I would help my mom with the tree every year (Dad never put up the tree. Ever.), and every year I'd roll my eyes and try to get through it as quickly as I could, eager to get back to *my* video games or whatever was on TV.

Putting up the ornaments this year, I finally got it.

Christmas ornaments are a time capsule. They're a snapshot of life the year you received the ornament, and they bring with them a flood of memories. The "Quebec '96" ornament we bought on our honeymoon. The "New Home '99" ornament for the first Casa del G. The "Baby's First Christmas" in 2000 that we never got to use. The "Baby's First Christmas" in 2001 that we did. Everything comes rushing back in a flood of memories and bubble wrap, all Christmases past and the ones you hope are still to come.

And yes, I *am* a geek:

It's not Christmas without Kirk!

Of *course* I have a phaser. Does it surprise you that there's also a 1911? (Big thanks to the guys at Shotlock for those, BTW).

There are also Harleys, muscle cars, vintage Cadillacs, Buicks, and Lincolns, and pickup trucks of all makes and models on the tree. There are Hallmark ornaments, Boston Red Sox ornaments, numerous engraved "Make A Wish" ornaments, a couple Hubble Space Telescope ornaments from a friend who worked on the project; and countless others too numerous to catalog.

The most important ones, though - and any parent will tell you this - are the homemade ornaments. The Santa Clauses and snowmen and candy cane reindeer and the pictures... We made a few ornaments with pictures when TheBoy was a baby, and our MA house was featured. Unsurprisingly, the new house has many similar features, with an open concept from kitchen to family room, with the tree in the same approximate spot. La plus ca change, and all that.

I understand, mom, why you dragged the boxes out every year. I understand it now. Every Christmas is a gift; every ornament has its own story; and for a short while, once a year, you get a trip back in time courtesy of a plastic-and-wood creation. I hope we can cajole the kids into helping with the tree and decorating for a few more years, at least. If not, well, the tree will still go up, there will just be fewer to share the memories.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

That is all.

Muse Left Virgina...

...and she's bound for New Orleans...

Sorry about the lack of posting. Things have been rather hectic the past two days. The movers showed up with all of our worldly possessions on Tuesday and moved the various boxes, pieces of furniture, and other assorted methods of conveyance into the house. Most of it arrived unbroken. A good percentage wound up where it was supposed to go.

Christmas Eve was spent retrieving presents, wrapping same, and attempting to locate where various Christmas-related items might have gotten to in the vast move. Most efforts were unsuccessful. Yesterday went well, far smoother than I feared. Both kids appear to have been placated with a generous amount of electronic goodies (although, don't tell them, they're educational...)

Two more days of work, and then my first weekend in the new house. Saturday is going to be mostly taken up with getting my truck switched over and my VA license. Sunday, I think we might take a break from unpacking to venture out and procure a few last pieces of furniture (we made an executive decision to pitch certain items--like my son's "desk" that we'd had for close to 20 years--before we moved).

Really looking forward to getting everything finished off and then getting back to some semblance of normal...

That is all.

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Merry Christmas!

I'm out, folks. Enjoy your holiday in whatever way you deem fit - even if it's to ignore anything and everything to do with Christmas. I'll be back Thursday, unless I happen to get crushed in an avalanche of packing boxes...

Buon natale!

That is all.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

'Twas The Day Before Christmas...

'Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the house;
Every creature was stirring, especially the two children vibrating like hummingbirds...

Yeah, TheBoy and BabyGirl G. are pretty excited because tomorrow's Christmas. It's compounded by the fact that we just finished selling our house of 15 years and moving 500 miles away, but to a kid awaiting Christmas, those are mere details for the grownups to work out. Oh, and did I mention that the movers are supposed to be at the house between 9 and 11 to bring us back all of our worldly possessions?

It's going to be a little hectic this week at the new and improved Casa del G., that's for sure...

Tomorrow, though, is reserved for friends and family. We might be surrounded by boxes and the debris of unpacking, but tomorrow we will open presents, paw through our stockings, and try to maintain some semblance of a "normal" Christmas. The visit to the families will be done via Skype, but it will still happen just like years passed. Thursday, OTOH, the unpackening continues in earnest.

You see, I need to find the documents I need to get my VA driver's license so the fun can *really* begin...

That is all.

What I Left Behind, Part II...

This is going to be part of a series. I ain't through kicking Massachusetts by a damn sight. #1 blogdaughter sent this one in.

Family receives letter blasting their Christmas decorations because 'not everybody is Christian'

A Massachusetts family says they have received a letter from an anonymous scrooge blasting their Christmas decorations because “not everybody in the neighborhood is Christian."

The letter addressed to the Hunter family of Newton, Mass., which was postmarked in Boston and signed “your neighbors,” also called the decorations “cheap, tacky and kitschy.” Whoever wrote the letter urged the family to take their celebration indoors, Fox 25 reports.

With my hand to G-d, folks, if I ever receive a letter like this, I will make it my life's mission to have Christmas decorations so loud and garish that alien cultures will fly to earth just to tell me to knock that shit off. I will personally seek out, purchase, and install giant neon creches with the baby Jesus in a gold lame Elvis suit dancing around with a naked Allah while Ganesh busts out a hookah just to offend as many people as possible.

In other words, I would aspire to this:



Shorter Jay: Fold it until it's all corners and cram it sideways, Grinch.

That is all.

'Tis The Season, Part VI

We like all kinds of Christmas music here at MArooned.



The sharp-eared will recognize this immediately as "Christmas in Hollis," by Run-DMC. Featured in one of the greatest Christmas movies of all time (DieHard, natch), it's not exactly the first Christmas music to spring to mind. Then again, you can only hear "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" so many times before you're ready to hear something different, right?

What's your favorite "non-traditional" Christmas song?

That is all.

More Meditations on Christmas...

Christmas is a week from today. Now, it's been a long time since I was a kid, waiting for Santa, but I remember what the week before Christmas was like. Once the count dropped into single digits, man, you could just forget about any sort of cohesive thought or complex motor skills until the 26th (or, more likely given the sugar consumption on the 25th, the 27th before I stopped buzzing like a hummingbird). Christmas was the magic confluence of getting presents and having time off from school. It was, just like the song said, the most wonderful time of the year. Two weeks off, *and* I get presents and a metric ton of chocolate?

SCORE!!!

Then, things started to change. You had to start getting presents for people. Christmas started to become less about kicking back and enjoying and more about stress. What does Grandma want? Do I really have to get presents for my cousins? What the bloody hell do I get my father, who buys anything he wants the instant he sees it? How far into my circle of friends does the gift-giving extend? Christmas, while still fun, was getting more and more stressful.

And then I became a parent. The magic came back into Christmas. I got to see the same unbridled joy in my son's face as he started to understand that this was a day when he got presents and was allowed to eat lots of chocolate. This was the greatest day of the year! Then the joy doubled as my daughter joined us and became aware of the magic of Christmas, and for many years Christmas reclaimed its hold on our wonder and delight.

The spirit of giving is never as clear as when you watch your child open a gift that they really, honestly and truly want. Sure, there's a lot of stuff that they're conditioned to want by TV, friends, and schoolmates; most often the items that they are asking for only because they think they want them can quickly be distinguished from the items they really do want. Even better are the rare times when you find something that they didn't ask for that becomes a big hit - nothing like knowing your child and being right!

Sadly, all good things come to an end. The kids learned the truth about Santa, and a great deal of the magic has escaped with that knowledge. We know they can't stay children forever; we all hope they'll just get one more year out of it before finding out. It's a lot of work to make sure that Christmas doesn't just become a "gimme" holiday; that they understand what the season is about, that they learn about the joy you can receive through giving, as well as receiving.

I do have to admit, though, that I much better understand my parents now and why they love spoiling their grandchildren on Christmas...

That is all.

'Tis The Season, Part V

I managed to get a good chunk of my Christmas shopping done last night. There have been two very significant hurdles to my normal modus operandi for shopping. First, that I HAVE NO SHIPPING ADDRESS right now, and second, with things tight for the mortgage, we are under strict orders to keep credit card purchases to a minimum. Managed to get to the bank for cash, and made it to a couple stores after work yesterday.

With that said, here's one of my all-time favorite Christmas tunes:



Christmas Eve in Sarajevo, by Trans Siberian Orchestra. Or, as good friend SCI-FI puts it, "Christmas music, if if were composed by Klingons." It's TheBoy's favorite Christmas music as well, and we've heard it a rather lot the past decade or so. It was funny, when he was little, that he would eschew the more traditional kiddie Christmas songs for the Imperial Klingon Christmas March. That's my boy...

Enjoy the last week of Christmas "cheer"!

That is all.

'Tis The Season, Part IV

Since we're in countdown mode, here's a Christmas tune with a countdown of sorts...



Merry Christmas, hosers...

That is all.

Christmas in Flux...

Well, unless something *else* blows up, it looks like we'll be spending Christmas in our new house.

Barely.

We're scheduled to close on the new house a week from today. Given that pretty much everything else that has been involved with this whole process has gone wrong, been substantially altered, or otherwise not gone as expected/planned, I am taking absolutely nothing for granted until AFTER it happens. And even then I'm a little on the nervous side.

So, two days before Christmas we'll be moving into the new house. Yeah, doesn't leave a lot of time for decorating the tree or hanging stockings, especially considering that we more than likely won't even have *found* the stockings in the pile of boxes by Christmas. Granted, I'll have the gift I really want - a reunion with my family - but for the kids, used to more "traditional" Christmases, it will be quite the change of pace.

My sister said something to me that really hit home. She was having lunch with Mom G., who confided that she was surprised to see me go. Apparently my sister - a high-powered Boston attorney - is the one my folks expected to leave the area, not me. Still not sure how to take that, either as a good thing, as they viewed me as the more stable, dependable one; or as a bad thing, that they never thought I'd get out of my rut.

In any case, this will be the first Christmas, ever, that I haven't been at my folks on Christmas Day. Mom G. is still coming to grips with that concept, the idea that we'll be calling on Christmas rather than coming over. For the kids, it will also be a much different Christmas; the traditional Christmas feast they've come to anticipate will be replaced by a smaller one. This would be a good time to start some new Christmas traditions, I think.

A good friend of mine called me up a few weeks ago. He'd heard about my new job and impending move, and wanted to congratulate me. He ribbed me about waiting until I was in my 40s to really "leave home", and there's a good deal of truth to that comment. Living in the same town for more than 40 years tends to limit one's world view, and I'm glad that I - and my family - are getting the chance to broaden our horizons.

This Christmas will be different, that's for certain, but I don't think it will be any better - or worse - than previous years.

That is all.

'Tis The Season, Part III

With less than two weeks until Christmas (how in blue blazes did THAT happen???), I figured we could ramp up the Christmas music a little...



Chuck Berry and Christmas music. You really can't get much better than that... With the Mrs. taking care of wrapping up the Massachusetts end of things, Christmas has more or less been handed over to me. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Yes, the kids are getting (airsoft) guns for Christmas - I mean, c'mon, their dad is moving them 500 miles away to go work for the NRA. Of *course* they're getting something gun-related (that, BTW, they have *both* asked for...)

Oh, there's other stuff, too, but I won't say anything on the 1:1,000,000 chance they're keeping tabs on ol' dad here...

That is all.

Tis The Season, Part II

Yeah, I can see this becoming a regular feature for the next few weeks...



You know, I really miss the brass sound. Seems like it went out of style along with popped collars and pegged parachute pants. Some things were good to lose. Others, like a killer brass section, should be about due for a comeback...

Anyways, have a great rock 'n' roll Christmas!

That is all.

It's That Time of Year!

Saw this mentioned on Facebook over the weekend. My favorite (traditional) Christmas song:



I swear, every time I hear this song I am overwhelmed by the urge to buy a 1988 Iroc-Z Camaro and cruise Revere Beach...

That is all.

Shoulda Known Better...

Than to travel on Thanksgiving weekend...

Thirteen hours to drive from the old house in MA to the current VA residence (currently casa del MBtGE, thank you kind sir), a distance of approximately 500 miles. This included two 10 minute comfort stops and one 30 minute stop for gas. When Weerd and I drove from MA to Charlotte, NC for the 2010 NRA convention, it took us 15 hours to go ~ 900 miles.

Yes, there were many factors involved. A weather-related crash held me up for a good hour in MA. I stuck with main highways as I was (legally) transporting a good deal of ordnance while cleaning out the house, and I really didn't want to be getting myself lost with a truck laden with same. And, yes, I fully understand that it was Thanksgiving weekend, the most heavily traveled time of the year.

On the plus side, we got a LOT of packing done at the house this weekend. Thanks to help from some good friends and family, we filled a 20 yard dumpster; hauled four large pieces of furniture down to the curb, packed up all several hundred of my 1/18th scale cars (thanks SCI-FI!), and found the floor in both the basement *and* the attic.

With any kind of luck, by the end of the month I will have a VA address. Keep your fingers crossed - the offer will be submitted today. We may actually be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel here...

I just need to remember to give myself electro-shock treatment if I ever decide to drive on Thanksgiving weekend again...

That is all.


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Another Tradition...

Hoo, boy. How did I forget this Thanksgiving tradition?



Mother rapers and father rapers and the 8X10 color glossy photographs with the paragraph on the back...

That is all.

A Thanksgiving Tradition...

I love this bit. I really do.



Is there any phrase more universally known this time of year than "With G-d as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"?

That is all.