Have I mentioned, lately, that I hate people?
I've been fighting off the mutant virus that laid waste to my household this past weekend. Defenses are holding, but intermittent germs break through and have to be clobbered back into submission. This morning the germs are winning...
And my life is further complicated by the complete and utter lack of brains, common sense, or basic human decency (HA!) shown by my fellow commuters. Some examples:
*Arrogant Asswipe: Yes, you, in your shiny white Cadillac. Did you REALLY need to back out of your driveway RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL BUS, then stop IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD to look at said bus, then continue slowly backing up? Eat shit, linger a few painful months, then die.
*Tina Timid: Y'know, you really don't have to wait until there is literally no traffic for MILES before proceeding through an intersection. Nothing like waiting behind some imbecile who can't or won't get the fuck out of the way...
*Msssss. Cell Phone: Yeah. 20 MPH in a 35 MPH zone while you yammer into your cell phone isn't going to win you any points, Ms. Tricked out Lexus SUV. Neither is getting into the right turn only lane and proceeding straight through the intersection, only to get into the left turn only lane and go straight again. Just because your husband bought you plastic boobs doesn't mean you can ignore the laws of physics and/or traffic.
*Mr. I-Don't-See-That-School-Bus-With-The-Flashing-Red-Lights: It's against the law to pass a school bus with its lights on. Period. Eventually that shit will catch up to you, and you'll pull that stupid stunt in front of a cop. With any kind of luck it will be an angry cop. With a large ticket book.
*One of The Towns I Pass Through On My Ride To Work: How many times can you tear up the same fucking piece of road, re-grade it, bring in new gravel, re-pave it, then tear it down again? If I lived in this town I would be ripshit about the gross waste of taxpayer money - especially since they can't close the road without at least 30 or 40 cops to direct traffic through a 1 mile stretch...
Wow... This is quite therapeutic. I'd say my Personal People Hatred Level has gone from DefCon One to... Defcon One and one quarter... (thanks for the update, Brad_in_MA)...
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7 comments:
Jay,
Not to be a picker of nits, but you've got your defcon scale backwards. Defcon 5 is complete peace. Total calm. Defcon 1 is ww3. And for what its worth, I had my own fair share of idiots this morning. Morons, one & all.
Here's a tip for all the douche-bags going eastbound in the morning; SUNGLASSES! Try them, they really fucking work better than slowing down and squinting.
Jay,
You missed Snuffy Suggins, who just had to pull out of the side street in front of you only to go 15 miles an hour BELOW the speed limit. Because he's retired and so no one else should be in a rush.
You need to install a RPG wumpum thumpum launcher under your hood with the thumb trigger on the steering wheel. They blow sky high.
Works for me anyways.
Mike.
I believe the appropriate response in Massachusetts to any of the traffic transgressions you mention is flashing the finger to the offending driver.
As for the road repaving, it's necessary so as to give cops an easy and legal way to make money on the side. (They have 'traffic duty' wherever in MA you live, I assume... I think it's state wide.)
how about the cyclist who follows traffic laws (minus obeying the posted speed limet....15MPH UNDER the limet is speeding as well) untill they get to a red light.
Pisses me off even more whe I see them doing it in 2" of slush in the winter. I'd rather live my whole life not knowing what it sounds like when a bike helmet gets crushed under a pickup tire....
grrrr
Single riders don't bother me as much as the spandex-clad pack. You know the ones - the ones that ride three or four abreast across the entire lane, and don't go into a single file when you approach.
My mom had a saying for people like that: You can be right, but you can also be dead right.
In this day and age, it's just not smart for a 180 pound cyclist to play chicken with a two-ton automobile. The driver could have road rage. They could be distracted on the phone. Any number of things could lead to, as you say, the sound of a bicycle helmet under a tire.
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