Jerry Falwell is still dead.
Tinky Winky has been questioned and released. His whereabouts at the time of Falwell's death have been confirmed by the other partners in the threeway: La-La and Barney.
Investigators have now turned to Spongebob Squarepants and his lifepartner Patrick Star as persons of interest. Mr. Squarepants had recently purchased blood thinners from one Plankton, and has harbored a grudge ever since Reverend Falwell outed him in the early 2000s. Despondent over his inability to break into mainstream acting, Mr. Squarepants had only been able to find work in the adult film industry (he is a sponge, after all) and blamed Falwell for his downfall.
He is considered absorbent and presumed waterlogged.
That is all.
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