Flying Enriqués

It was warm and sunny the day we threw Enriqué in the lake.

For the life of me, I can't remember why we threw him in the lake (and yes, the immortal line "seemed like the thing to do at the time" uttered by Gunny Highway comes to mind...). All I remember is going into the cabin with George and John, two guys who make me look small, and each of us grabbing piece of Enriqué.

John grabbed his arms. George and I each grabbed a leg. We carried 125 pounds of squirming Enriqué through the cabin, out onto the porch, and into the back lawn of the cabin on the lake.

The back lawn, of course, which led to the dock on the lake.

Down onto the dock we go. Enriqué doesn't know if he should be frightened, annoyed (we woke him up from a nap) or prepared to swim. As we get him up on the dock, it dawns on him that he is about to go into the water, no question about it. He's jettisoning water soluble items like a sub dumping spare parts to dodge depth charges - a wallet goes flying; his shoes get torn off.

We reach the dock. For extra theatrical effect, we ask if Enriqué has any last words before we offer him to the gods of the lake. Rather than opting for a lengthy soliloquoy that might allow our arms to tire and offer him the chance of escape, he chooses foolish bravado: "You guys aren't really going to throw me in the lake". I think he was trying to use the Jedi mind trick on us.

It didn't work.

We start swinging him back and forth. By this time, everyone has gathered to watch the spectacle. Cameras are positioned. Videotape is loaded into the Sony Handycams. We've got visions of the $10,000 prize on "Americans Injure Themselves on National TV".

"One!"

"You guys can't possibly be serious about this! I didn't DO anything!"

"TWO!"

"C'mon. Cut the shit, you bastards!"

(Damn. There goes the TV spot. Looks like we're gonna have to fling Enriqué again)

"THREE!!!"

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever done in my entire liiiiiiiiife"

[Sploosh]

In retrospect, he took it pretty good-naturedly.

(And looking back, the reason he got thrown in is because he ran and hid when it came time to put the dock in, which was the primary reason my buddy's in-laws allowed us to camp en masse at the cabin. They fed and housed a good dozen of us every Memorial Day and Labor Day to get free labor putting in and taking out the dock... Enriqué felt that the water was too cold to go in, so he disappeared for the hour it took to put the dock in, then feigned sleep when we went looking for him...)