On our last vacation to the great White Mountains, my son came up to me, beaming with pride, and told me that he'd found a penny on the ground (he LOVES finding money; I fear I may have a future accountant on my hands here...) :)
He then asked me to hold it for him, because his shorts didn't have any pockets. I looked, and sure enough they didn't. Doing laundry after vacation, I was folding his shorts and noticed that he had many pairs of pants and shorts that didn't have pockets.
No pockets. I couldn't conceive of wearing pants that didn't have pockets. Where else would I put all my stuff?
*Wallet
*Keys
*Gerber Paraframe
*P3AT
*Spare mag
*Cell phone
And that's on a light day...
I starting thinking about it... How innocent is that, that my son doesn't have to carry any of the gear that one picks up through life? He doesn't have to carry a wallet, because daddy pays for what he needs. If he gets hurt and needs to show insurance, that's covered too. He has no need for ID, nor credit cards, nor money. He doesn't have to carry keys, as he has no car to drive and is always with us when he's out of the house. No cell phone yet (and he will NOT be getting one in the foreseeable future, either - I absolutely DETEST seeing an 8 year old with a fucking cell phone glued to their ear).
And the defensive items. Never mind the idiotic "Zero Tolerance" bullshit the schools foist upon our kids where they can be expelled for carrying a tiny Swiss Army knife for a moment, my son doesn't have to worry about predators.
Because that's my job. And it's one I take very seriously. Why? Because I'm the dad. That's what we do.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
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11 comments:
Well said. Lately I have been asking myself when do you start to teach your kid about some of this stuff? . . . my oldest is going to be 12 soon and I have started to think it is time to start teaching her some karate and getting her to pay a bit more attention to what is going on around her now. . . just simple stuff to start like asking her where the exits are while we are sitting at a restaurant and that kind of thing. With all you hear in the news these days trouble seems to be finding kids at younger and younger ages. . . I guess that is just part of being a parent, you worry about this stuff.
That's an excellent question: When you do start telling your kids that monsters really are real, they just don't have horns and fangs...
It's a fine line. Neither of my kids have any vestige of "stranger anxiety", which is both a blessing and a curse. It's good, because they don't cower in a corner when a new babysitter comes over.
It's bad, for many reasons, not the least of which is that my son will walk up to complete strangers and start talking to them. Obviously we've been trying to break him of this habit. The hard part is putting just enough fear into him to keep him from walking up to anyone but not enough that he starts getting agorophobic... :|
No pockets? So where does he put rocks, sticks, pennies, you know... the kind of stuff boys always put in their pockets? *grin*
Cell phone... when they get a car and are mobile. Until then you or another adult have to take them places anyway. Once they have wheels - it's nice to know they have communication if they get stuck (flat tire that kind of thing).
Darling daughter was driving, just before cell phones became affordable - she got one the last year of college. I can tell you now - it was nerve wracking. Young son who is 4 years younger had one the last 2 years of high school (although he didn't take it to school with him and I didn't worry about him the same way I worried about my daughter).
In any case - the more independently mobile they are - the more reason for a cell. Otherwise it's a waste of money.
Cell phones are wonderful once the kids start traveling. Sure they can lie to you and tell you that they are somewhere they aren't but believe me, when they wreck the car the call you get is unforgettable. I got three of them.
But as I told my wife, if it is your kid that is talking to you the wreck does not matter. The world is full of cars.
But little boys need pockets damn it. That's where you put the frogs.
I don't think I could have functioned as a child without pockets; I collected rocks, coins, bugs, and anything else that would fit.
As an adult I don't put much in my pants pockets, but I am one of those crazy people who wears one of these all the time.
My very independent, usually mature daughter was home alone and let a telephone guy in to inspect the line once.
I asked her just what she thought a "boogy man" would look like.
She admitted that it might have been a bad choice.
It kinda sucks what you have to teach your kids to watch out for.
You carry because he's to young to understand that he must.
Me, I'm stuck trying to figure out how to conceal a Px4 Storm in the South Texas Heat of Summer for the same reason.
Man, a Kel-Tec is looking pretty good right now.
I cannot advise personally: my kid is younger than yours and I, too, am less experienced (read: younger, no offense) than you. Kathy over at The Cornered Cat can pretty much tell you when to start talking to your kids.
Especially with your friggin armory at your house;)
Man, I've got to make it to MA.
tweaker
Teresa,
That's what he has hands for. Or Daddy's pockets. He doesn't (yet) have the attention span to keep anything long enough to need pockets (other than money).
As for the cell phone, I think you've got it about right. I might relent and get him one of the pre-paid deals when he starts going out with friends (i.e. when his friends get cars). But it will be for emergencies only.
buck,
I can't imagine that call (even tho' I was the kids wrecking the car on too many occasions...) I'll burn that bridge when I get to it.
And don't worry about the frogs - we're right down the street from a healthy pond which keeps us knee-deep in frogs in the summertime. I grew up in the house next door to where I live. Lots of frogs...
bobg,
Ah, a "shoot-me-first" vest. :) (kidding). I like having everything on my person, so like I said, cargo pants are a must-have item.
knitalot,
No kidding. I don't *want* to have to tell my kids about the evil people in the world. It's *my* job to worry about the evil ones.
But I can't be with them 24/7, much as I'd like. So they need to know how to be careful. It's the balance between keeping them out of condition white and making them paranoid that I'm concerned about...
tweaker,
I can't say enough good things about my P3AT. It's light as hell, packs a reasonable wallop (compared to .25ACP/.22LR/.32ACP), and is freakin' cheap (for those in free states, that is. I saw one in NH for $260 - NEW). There's really no reason not to have one.
As for the armory and the kids, no worries there. All firearms are secured as proscribed by MA law in safes and cases strewn about the house. Both kids have had countless talks about gun safety, and know not to touch. Heck, I don't let them point Nerf™ guns at each other.
"The talk" will come soon enough. The boy has learned about bullies from personal experience; that's a pretty good segue point. My daughter, she can wait a bit. For now.
As for getting up this way, give me a holler. I've got friends who own Class III weaponry; I could arrange a trip to a machine gun range. Tell me that wouldn't be a hoot - shooting machine guns in Fat Teddy Kennedy's back yard!
(And no worries about offending me. Believe me, brother, you have to WORK to offend me...) ;)
Ugh. I wish my little girl's clothes didn't have pockets. I've washed and dried countless barrets, Carebear chapsticks, Hello Kitty glitter-gloss, crayons (WHAT A FRIGGIN' MESS), small stretchy bracelets, stickers, and so on and so forth. :-)
I think we should keep them unburdened as long as possible. Kids grow up too fast.
My in-laws inquired yesterday about them purchasing my daughter (10) a cell-phone.
I unloaded (no epithets, but just short).
Needless to say, there'll be no cell phone for her for quite a while.
My son started Martial Arts classes when he was 7. It not only did wonders for his self esteem it taught him self control. Both my children learned to shoot .22 rifles @ 10 and then handguns @ 12.
Cell Phones, I haven't a clue. Mine were grown before they became affordable.
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