Friday, December 14, 2007

Winter Wonderland

Got ~ 6-8 inches of snow last night. It started shortly after lunchtime, and snowed until about midnight.

Work cut us loose at 3PM, which was nice. It took me over 2 hours to cover the 15 miles to home. I've heard others who took 3 - 4 hours to similar distances.

Why, you ask? Three simple words: PEOPLE. ARE. STUPID.

*Like the $80K BMW who insisted on crawling @ 10 MPH down the empty road. If you can afford a 7-series Beamer, you can afford a winter vehicle. Or, alternately, if you don't want to risk your expensive "Ultimate Driving Machine", stay the fuck home.

*Like the ignorant fucknozzle who decided to leave the U-Haul rent-a-wreck he used to bring home his new snowblower IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD while unloading.

*Like every fucking inconsiderate piece-of-shit asswipe who plows, snow-throws, or shovels the snow from their driveway or sidewalk into the street.

*And speaking of snowplows, to all the private snowplows out there: You are alive only because we are not allowed to own explosive devices. After the third piece-of-shit GMC with an 8' Fisher plow and a $20 yellow roof light from Radio Shack backed out of a driveway DIRECTLY INTO MY PATH, I would have gladly vaporized you with a bazooka could I have gotten my hands on one... I hope you all catch gonorrhea of the mouth, fuckwads.

*To the people who only brush off their windshields: Eat shit and die. First off, you have no side visibility whatsoever. Second, you create a rolling snowstorm that makes life difficult for everyone behind you. And lastly, when that snow freezes to ice and you get out on the highway, it creates a genuine hazard as large chunks of ice fly off your car onto the windshields of people behind you. Don't be so fucking lazy, shitbag.

*Lastly, to the joker in the Passat wagon traveling 20 MPH this morning: I have a ridiculously overpowered, rear-wheel drive pick-up truck. I made it all the way into work without using 4WD. There's no excuse for you traveling at half the speed limit. Just because you were dropping your kids off at school doesn't mean you have to travel the school zone speed limit your entire trip...

That is all...

7 comments:

Andrew said...

As much as I occasionally miss snow, your (and Bruce's) posts are quite a reality check. I used to shovel/blow snow into the street because my fucking front yard was so small and because the city pushed all the snow from the road into my driveway. The war continued.

All over now. It is 79F and breezy here in south Florida.

Christine G. said...

aren't you glad you have a place to vent???!!!

visit my blog for our experience.
http://www.amusings.net/clg

breda said...

it is wrong that your rants make me giggle? the language is very...creative =)

Jay G said...

Andrew,

At least the snow-blowing/plowing wards are but a faint memory, right? :)

amusings_bnl,

Pre-ZACTLY. This is my space to vent my spleen. So I don't ACTUALLY rig up a homemade flamethrower and torch the hood of the fucking moron in the Exploder who's all of 4" from my rear bumper in a blinding snowstorm...

And YIKES! Okay, so others had worse commutes.

Good on you for the donation, BTW. I've been meaning to get to the Methuen center for, oh, about three months now...

breda,

I please to aim... ;)

Anonymous said...

I thought about you last night watching the weather channel. They were showing parts of Massachusetts and it looked horrible.

Here in North Georgia I had the windows up and the fans blowing. I could have used the A/C but I was too cheap to turn it on.

Teresa said...

My husband was at the dentist, he started toward home at around 1pm... just as it started snowing out here. It generally takes 20 minutes... it took him 2 hours and 15 minutes. EVERYONE decided to go home at the same time. EVERYONE. Schools let kids out, people left work - ARG!!!

I was listening to the radio and one of the guys was saying - an old couple just stopped their car in the middle of the road and got out to clean the windows off!!!

People around here drive like they live in a town with a population of 10 and only one vehicle. And they wonder why there are so many accidents. Sheesh!

Anonymous said...

In the course of "living" in the DC/VA/MD area for the past three years, I've discovered that for the most part the drivers here can't drive when the streets are dry, and don't know how to drive when it rains or snows(when it snows, they all go faster to get where they are going quicker). And this morning there was an accident because of "strong winds".