Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Let Me Get This Straight...

You are giving me the finger because you're a moron?

Let me fill you in on something, sweetheart. When the line of traffic is going straight, and you try to pass me on the right, it is not my obligation, responsibility, or duty to let your ignorant/arrogant ass into traffic. Trying to bull your way in when you're driving a 2,000 pound Camry is the icing on the fucking stupid cake. I'm driving a 6,000 pound Dodge Ram. You so much as chip the chrome on my step rail, I'm going to the hospital complaining of back pain. Capiche?

Don't give me the finger because you can't read traffic. I was going straight. The guy in front of me was going straight. Just because someone three cars up is turning doesn't mean you get to pass all of us. And flipping me off because I wouldn't let you in?

Well, there's a reason I drove 15 MPH below the speed limit the next 5 miles... Stupid bint. I hope the next time you argue with a 22,000 pound dumptruck and they end up burying you in a fucking baggie. Douche.

That is all.

6 comments:

breda said...

oh Jay - you crack me up =)

Anonymous said...

Jay . . . one word . . .

DECAF !!!

BobG said...

Hell, if I didn't have a close call with at least 2 or 3 assholes every morning in traffic, I'd be worried something was wrong.

Anonymous said...

I can still remember the days...20 years ago now...I had similar rage experiences commuting from Haverhill to Waltham 5 or 6 days a week. My car was such a big shitbox people knew I had nothing to fear or lose,(dentwise), it was a '67 Pontiac LeMans.As a result, I tended to create "right of way".But then I defected to northern NH and now enjoy a 4 minute stress free commute to work. The "rage" only returns during tourist time now.

Jay G said...

Breda,

I'm glad you find my pain humorous... :)

Brad,

Believe me, you don't want to see how cranky I get when I haven't had my six cups of coffee...

BobG,

That's the worst part - this is school vacation week, and as such, typically traffic gets better, not worse. But really, all it takes is one buffoon yakking on her cell phone to really fuck things up...

Angus,

I hear you. I had a similar vehicle when I was a graduate student at UNH - a 1984 Toyota van that I bought from the UNH Farm School as surplus. It had been used to haul pigs around the farm (I swear I am not making this up) and was sold off as surplus after the air conditioning stopped working.

It had, almost literally, more rot than metal - I needed about a gallon of Bondo™ to patch it up to the point of making it NH street-legal. But it only had 86K on the bulletproof 22R motor. And it was UUUUUGLY to beat the band. NO ONE ever trying crowding me on the road, because a scratch wouldn't have been visible on that van out of all the rust/rot/bondo/primer...

dr mac said...

Jay, just hit the magic laser button on the steering wheel and vaporize them.

That's what I do.