Clearing brush around the G. homestead on Tuesday, I apparently blundered my way through a large bushel of poison ivy. I now have itchy blotches up and down both forearms, and am contemplating grabbing a cheese grater and removing several layers of skin.
Needless to say, this coming weekend is going to involve some very nasty chemical warfare on the flora around my house. Itchy hives deserve napalm retaliation.
That is all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
A excuse for another gun.
A flamethrower.
Ooh, I like the way you think...
I *do* have an old "Super Soaker" lying around the basement...
"Borax" laundry detergent is useful for washing the skin immediately after contact with poison ivy or poison oak, as it neutralizes the urushiol. Just smear some on and scrub GENTLY with water (BEFORE the boils appear, NOT AFTER!). Be sure to wash it all off your skin, as it will irritate your skin if left on for more than the time it takes to wash with it.
Also, wash all the clothes you were wearing, and any clothes they came in contact with, with Borax to remove the very persistent oils from the poison ivy. Or you will be going through the itchy irritation again when you wear that shirt or pants again, even after washing with normal detergent.
Oatmeal baths, calamine lotion, and perhaps Demerol are the only things I can recommend once the skin starts to blister.
Uuuuhhhh, Jay?
You know that you can get another reaction just by coming into contact with the smoke from burning poison ivy, right?
mikee,
I've been having good luck with "Ivy Dry" spray, but thanks for the recommendation (esp. demerol - I like the way *you* think, too...)
AD,
Well, DUH, that's why I want the flamethrower - that way I'll be a good 50 feet away from the action!
:)
(Actually, it's going to involve Round-Up™ and possibly petrochemical products...)
Teh smokez can be worsen, at lest from poison oak, distance doesn't seem to help and it's really nasty if it gets in the eyes - better hire someone else (you don't like) to torch it. ;-) I'd say this calls for a heavy agricultural tool, pulled by something by Mr. Deer or Mr. Ford.
I'm one of the lucky souls who happen to be immune.
Had a friend who used some ivy leaves as TP out camping once; he was amazingly sick for quite a while afterwards.
We haven't heard from JG in two days. Did you succumb or are you just gathering instruments of destruction ?
Me hopes the latter.
Nope, just my usual insane-crazy-busy life...
Although I *did* pick up a bottle of rubbing alcohol to hasten the healing process.
[CUT TO: G house, as seen from "Google Earth"]
AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
"Itchy hives deserve napalm retaliation."
That's the funniest thing I've read in ages!
Hope it didn't get anywhere, uhh, special.
tweaker
Post a Comment