Thursday, May 22, 2008

Why I Hate People, Part ???

Because, for some unDarwinian reason, people like the Suzy Soccermom I followed for ~ 5 miles today manage to avoid drinking out of a bottle with a skull and crossbones on it...

I mean, really... I know you have a high-end "crossover" SUV with a Bavarian nameplate. I had plenty of time to study it as you careened through the back roads at speeds reaching, well, 10 - 15 MPH below the speed limit. I especially love how the cell phone glued to your ear caused you to significantly overreact to every single stimulus you encountered, resulting in comical mashing of your brakes every time a squirrel dashed out of a tree...

Stopping in the middle of the intersection, with no oncoming traffic, and waiting for the light to turn completely red before proceeding was a nice touch, too. Nothing I like better than being stranded in the middle of a busy intersection because you can't stop discussing last night's "American Idle" show...

People. Can't live with 'em... Pass the beer nuts...

That is all.

5 comments:

breda said...

oh! I meant to tell you! The other day I was following a car with MA plates - worst driver ever, cellphone included. I immediately thought, "poor Jay. Now I totally understand."

=)

Jay G said...

He probably took a wrong turn on the MA pike and was too engrossed in his phone conversation to notice the "Welcome to Ohio" sign...

And yes. That's what I deal with every day. Usually in very large quantities...

Anonymous said...

Breda,
Last week Jay & I made a range trip. On the way to his humble abode, I rhetorically asked myself . . . are drivers required to have BRAIN DAMAGE in order to drive on highway xyz ????!!!! And yes, they're THAT bad. Apologies in advance to anyone who has brain-damaged family members. And btw . . . MA Volvo drivers are the worst.

Mike W. said...

Asian women and old people = worst drivers EVER.

Larry said...

I spent a memorable 2 weeks in Boston where I learned the following rules of the road:
1) It's not really red until the last car in the line gets through,
2) If there is room for 2 cars on the same side of the line, it's a 4 lane road,
3) Road markings are there for decoration,
4) Light speed is the time it takes for the driver behind you to hit the horn after the light changes. The horn will sound regardless of the status of oncoming or crossing traffic (see rule 1).
I didn't leave anything in Boston, so I have no reason to ever go back. I got all the pictures of the USS Constitution that I want.