Friday Motorhead Fun Thread

Okay, time for something a little... lighter.

I've done the "coolest" cars of the 1980s. Call it the "good". Today, we're going to focus on the "bad" cars of the 1980s. Next week, naturally, will be the most subjective, the "ugly"...

My criteria for choosing the "bad" cars is just that - mine. Some were chosen because they were just horrifically bad ideas. Some were pieces of junk. Some were genuinely unsafe. All are, IMHO, bad. So here we go!

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1. Late 1980s Ford Taurus. I know that commenter sci-fi is going to disagree with me on this one, particularly in the #1 slot, but his experience bears out why this is the worst of the bad. Two transmissions. Three engines. Countless electronics. All in a scant 7 years. And his wasn't the worst - a buddy of mine's dad bought an '88 Taurus that chewed through SIX transmissions before he finally had Ford take it back under the Lemon Law.

2. Mid- to late 1980s Dodge Caravan turbo. Yeah. Great freakin' idea, guys. Put an underpowered four banger in a big, heavy box. Then, in an attempt to get more power, slap a turbocharger on it. This was Chrysler's "Put A Turbo In It!" policy taken to the extreme.

3. Cadillac Cimarron. SRSLY? A Chevy Cavalier with Caddy emblems on it? WTF??? Guys... Honest. This is a twofer for badness - the Cimarron is arguably the granddaddy of "badge engineering" that brought us such idiocies as the Lincoln Blackwood and the Cadillac SVT.

4. Third Generation Chevrolet Camaro, 4-banger. Yes, that's right. They stuffed the 2.5L I4 "Iron Duke" four-banger into the freakin' Camaro... GM's "pony beater" was turned into a bloated, underpowered piece of rolling crap. This was, IMHO, the beginning of the end of the J-body...

5. 1987 Cadillac Allante. While we're talking about underpowered GM offerings, let's mention the first-issue Allante. Originally slated to take on the Mercedes 500 series convertibles, the Allante's anemic powering quickly made it abundantly clear that the big Mercedes was in no danger from General Motors.

6. Okay, one last underpowered GM and I'll stop bashing: The 1988 Buick Reatta. It was supposed to be a high-performance coupe/convertible. And then the bean counters got to it and stuffed the same, tired, 165 HP 3800V6 into it. Once again, GM comes up with a great concept, then stuffs it full of FAIL.

7. Ford Bronco II. While the Suzuki Samarai gained notoriety for rolling over, the Bronco II was actually worse in rollover tests. Its tall profile, short wheelbase design made for a very unstable platform prone to rolling over even at relatively slow speeds.

8. Chrysler TC. Yeah, here's a great idea. Grab a stock LeBaron. Throw a bunch of over-priced Maserati emblems on it. Don't touch the engine. Then charge triple the price of a stock LeBaron. How'd that work for ya, Lee???

9. 1988 Ford Festiva. This was Ford's second attempt at re-badging a small foreign car (first was the Fiesta). Like the first, it was ill-received here on American shores. Basing it off a Kia was probably not the greatest idea going, especially given the "quality" of Korean automobile manufacture in the 1980s (think Hyundai).

10. K-Car based limousine. Yes, you read that correctly. Chrysler actually made a limousine version based on their line of K-cars. I am not making this up. No, I don't know what they were smoking. Obviously it was skunked... This is epic FAIL...

I hope this list has been entertaining, and as always, feel free to include your own nominations for "Bad Cars of the 1980s" in comments!

That is all.