Tuesday, October 7, 2008

All That Was Old...

...Is new again.

Ford feature will let parents set limits for teens

DETROIT (AP) — So you think junior is a little too lead-footed when he drives the family car? Starting next year, Ford Motor Co. will give you the power to do something about it.

The company will roll out a new feature on many 2010 models that can limit teen drivers to 80 mph, using a computer chip in the key.


Hate to tell you this, guys, but this technology existed when I was a teenager. Only instead of calling it "MyKey", it was called "underpowered pieces of GM shit"...

Why do you need a chip to limit speed to 80 MPH when piss-poor engineering and shoddy workmanship result in the dashboard vibrating violently at any speed about 65 MPH?

I especially liked this:

In addition to speed limits, MyKey also will limit the volume of the audio system

We had that, too. We called it "AC Delco"...

This trip down Amnesia Lane brought to you by a bitter old fart who remembers the bad old days when American cars were slow and had crappy sound systems. And we liked it, dagnabit!

That is all.

8 comments:

SpeakerTweaker said...

...barefoot, in the snow, both ways, no complaining...

;)



tweaker

Anonymous said...

With my 1995 Jeep Wrangler, the only thing I could get a ticket for was attempted speeding.

But that wasn't because it was a shitty car, it was because it was designed to climb up the side of a mountain, not win a NASCAR race.

Jay G said...

tweaker,

And don't you forget it, whippersnapper!

robb,

Roger that. My sister had a '93 Wrangler (that I taught her to drive stick on!) that could BARELY hit 60 MPH on the highway. SRSLY.

Roy said...

When I was a teenager, wheels - any wheels - were a good thing.

I was a geek back then. (I'm still a geek 36 years later, but that's beside the point.) I used to overhaul and sell old TV's for pocket money. I got my first car that way. I traded a used color TV and they gave me the car and $50.

What was it? It was a 1953 Ford. It had the handling characteristics of the Hindenburg, and anything over 55mph and it would overheat.

It had a sound system of sorts. It was an old tube/vibrator AM radio. You turned it on *after* you started the car and about ten minutes later you got tunes.

doubletrouble said...

I couldn't afford the GOOD sound system, which was an 8 track tape player in the mobile- the unit was the size of a toaster.
I had one of those new-fangled FM converters in mine- danglin' under the dash by the wires...

NotClauswitz said...

'60 Karmann Ghia bondo-bandit in four or five different colors of primer gray. Since it lived by the Sea the rust ate through the floor pan - you could see down to the street. It's one virtue was the ease with which four bolts and the carb-wire undone, you could pull the motor - it's vice was the frequency of failure and the need to fix the motor...

Kevin said...

You don't know slow and no sound until you've had a 63-64-65 Bug with 6V electrical system. Ah, those were the days. Thanks for the memories.

Borepatch said...

Jay, I think that the official definition of "geezer" is "old enough to complain about the young folk."

Doubletrouble, I wonder if it was "K.C. and the Sunshine Band" on that 8-track? Lord save me from a relapse of those days ....