John McCain. Barack Obama. Town hall format.
Gotta get sci-fi on the phone.
Debate on Fox News.
Let's get it on!
9:01: CNN's already called the debate for Obama...
Topics we will not be covering tonight:
Gun control.
Fannie Mae execs on Obama's election committee
Domestic terrorists
Topics we will be covering:
Why the economic downturn is solely John McCain's fault.
Why Barack Obama is so awesome.
Okay. Enough silliness, debate's starting...
I'm Tom Brokaw of the Obama campai-err, NBC news...
Obama's first. Didn't see that coming...
9:08 PM: Candidates are on the stage...
OMG. The first questioner is the principal from Back to the Future!
Why, yes, let's let Fannie Mae contribute to your campaign some more, Barry.
So... The execs that got golden parachutes... should be... fired?
Wow. John McCain is in super slo-mo...
Energy independence. I don't believe that was the question, John...
AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!
Holy crap. I'm waiting for McCain to say "Who are all you people, and why are you in my living room?"
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Someone, please, get the hook and get him off the stage. This is painful...
9:15 PM Obama is coming off far more polished.
Middle class tax cut. Just like the one Clinton gave us...
Apparently this is all economy all the time.
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Here we go with the Main Street. (And the number one reference that I am ramming into the ground...)
WHAT? McCain mentioned Fannie Mae? Whoa!
Good on you, John, for pointing out the campaign contributions.
YES! Second-highest campaign contribution to Obama. Point, McCain.
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Obama's got a canned answer. Sci-fi thinks it will involve "Keating 5"...
Okay. Every company in the US is going to close if we don't elect Obama. Gotcha.
Not me. No, your campaign just hired all the former Fannie Mae executives.
Obama seemed stunned at that question.
"UH". Seems to be the quote of the night.
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Um, Barry? Other countries are doing bad, too. Check the Nikkei...
Holy crap, where did they dig up this harpie?
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There's a lot of blame to go around. But all of it to George Bush and John McCain.
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We had a deficit before Bush came to office, Barry.
And let's not forget who has controlled Congress for the past two years...
Mention Vietnam about 500 times. It worked for John Kerry...
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AAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!! Campaign Finance Reform. Thanks a lot, JOHN. We've been trying to FORGET that.
sci-fi is threatening to switch to chocolate scotch if McCain keeps huffing and puffing...
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We've got another hour of this. I'm gonna need a bigger bottle of bourbon...
Point out how many times Obama has voted against the Democratic party line, John.
9:30 PM : Huh??? Did McCain just say that $700 Billion is going to terrorists? I hope he means Bill Ayers...
Uh, Barry? The government is not my family. My family makes their own money. The government takes money from people...
Riiiiight. A Democrat's going to eliminate programs. Let's see if he can do it outside of the Pentagon...
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First question from the internet is a child of the Depression. Interesting. (good catch B)
WOW. That was a GREAT question. What will they ask of us? We know that the Obama campaign considers it patriotic to pay more taxes...
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John, drop the earmarks. SRSLY.
Earmarks, earmarks, earmarks...
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Rifleshots. Something tells me that's the closest we're going to get to guns tonight...
"A lot of people here remember 9/11"????????????????????????
WHAT. THE. FUCK. OVER.
Yes! Tell the people to put a sweater on, Barry! It worked for Jimmeh!
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Bearing the burden of renewing America. Can someone translate that into English?
CEOs get more from tax cuts BECAUSE THEY PAY MORE.
What's the number of CEOs making over a million dollars a year? Anyone know? Because Obama's sure hoping we don't know...
McCain just said a bunch of stuff, but I'll be damned if I caught any of it...
A ticking time bomb that will eat us up?
Apparently this time bomb is composed of Pac-Man...
"The straight talk express lost a wheel" I quote Syndrome. Lame, lame, LAME!
9:45 PM Wait a minute. How much money would CEOs get back? I missed it the first 58 times Barack mentioned it...
WOW. Did McCain just sass Tom Brokaw?
OUCH! Pointing out Obama's Senate campaign promises, one of which was... {drum roll, please} Middle class tax cuts!
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Oh GAWD, not "climate change"...
OOOOH! I was a Navy ship running on nuclear power. Ignore the four bouts of cancer treatment I've undergone...
Did Barry just use "Cris-a-tunity"?
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Global Warming is a national security issue?
A nuclear bomb to fight global warming. I could get behind that...
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Is it just me, or has this debate taken a turn for the surreal?
The reason that health costs so much is the illegal immigrants who don't pay a dime - b, sci-fi's wife.
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Obama is bragging about his health insurance? Wha? This is like Biden bragging about his house during the VP debate.
[McCain] Speaking as a senior citizen, I know about health care...
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I missed something. Did McCain say Obama would find us?
10:00 PM: Only half an hour less. 30 minutes. 1800 seconds...
HEALTH CARE IS NOT A FUCKING RIGHT.
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What? It's currently legal for insurance companies to cheat their customers? Did Obama just say that?
McCain voting for deregulation is a PLUS, Barry...
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Foreign policy coming up. Ought to be interesting.
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McCain looks like a zombie coming after the villagers in Dawn of the Dead. (sci-fi)
No one suggested Iraq would be "quick and easy". Fucking liar.
Wait a minute. Were our troops behaving heroically when they were airraiding villages and killing civilians, Barry?
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EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME. The slaughter in Africa has been going on for more than eight years.
Remember Maddie Albright and "genocide-like"?
WE COULD HAVE STOPPED RWANDA. AAAAAUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!
Is Obama saying we didn't have the military ability in the 1990s to stop what was going on in Rwanda?
Is that really his position?
The slaughter in Rwanda was carried out with machetes. What the fuck is a "No-Fly Zone" going to do?
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This guy has no fucking clue. None whatsoever.
That's pretty gutsy, mentioning the Marines in Lebanon.
Reverse course. Typical liberal weasel-speak for RUN AWAY...
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Pakistan? Isn't that the nuclear power Barry thinks we should invade?
We ARE crushing Al Quaeda.
10:15 PM: Brokaw's "hired help", huh? Wonder how much Obama's paying him?
Obama-bot is running out of batteries.
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Annihilation of North Korea? Sounds good to me!
Side benefit of the laptop: It runs so hot, my snack ships are already toasted!
YES! SLAM him on that one, John.
"If either of you becomes President"???
Uh... Tom?
Hmmm. Was this debate supposed to be entirely about the economy and the war in Iraq, or is it just coincidence that the two biggest negatives of the Bush administration have dominated the debate?
Penalties. If it's an Obama administration, I'd guess they'll threaten the Russians with... a strongly worded resolution! And if that fails to motivate them, they'll move on to... another strongly worded resolution!
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Refresh my memory. I could have sworn we went into Afghanistan before Iraq...
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Energy is key is dealing with Russia? How much oil do we get from Russia? (Answer: They're not in the top ten)
I thought McCain was going over to give him the Vulcan death grip for a second there... Either that or shoot lighting bolts at him like Emperor Palpatine...
"I will do everything that's required"? That's an odd phrase to use when talking about terrorists getting nuclear weapons.
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Ah, yes. Issue sanctions. That worked so well to contain Saddam Hussein in the 1990s, didn't it?
Last question. Thank goodness.
"What don't you know, and how will you learn it?"
Interesting question. And stupid...
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Did Obama just say that it's Bush's fault some kids don't go to college?
McCain gets last ups. Here's hoping he stays awake...
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uhhhh... A good chunk of Americans can't find Texas on a map, John...
And he tries to one-up Obama's childhood story... Bad move.
This concludes the debate. THANK GOD.
Wow. I need a Valium...
That is all.
8 comments:
Checking in... I'm watching.
Present.
And, Obama opens with a worn-out lie.
aarrggghhhh!!! McCain sounds like a doddering old fool...
please somebody wake him up!!
Was that Tom just telling Barry to shush and answer the damn question?
I walked in the room in the middle of it.
BO: we've run up a deficit because we don't cut our budget when we have less money... Therefore I'm proposing more spending.
Oy. Time for 20 oz of chocolate milk. Extra dark.
I found you through Murph... debate was painful to watch. Where the heck was John McCain tonight? He sure wasn't in the same room with the rest of em. Answer the dang questions! Don't give me worn out rehearsed crap! Quit pointing the finger and give me some freakin answers! Jeez. Actually thought O-man was smooth and polished next to Grampy. ARRGGGGHHHH!
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