I just signed The Boy up for Confraternity of Christian Doctrine (abbreviated and more commonly known as CCD, a.k.a. Sunday School for the non-Catholics). Classes start at the end of the month - nothing like waiting until the last minute, eh Jay?
He was supposed to start last year, but I never got around to signing him up. Sure, part of it was gross laziness on my part, both in the "dragging our asses out of bed on Sunday" sense and also the "I can wait another week to call for information" laziness. But it wasn't just laziness - I was honestly conflicted.
Now, I'm just as conflicted now, but I want my kids to go to church. It's an important part of a lot of people's lives, and I want them to have that experience. I refuse to repeat the lessons of my parents and simply drop them off @ the church for service, telling them "you have to go" but not going with them (or, when my little sister went, she only had to go to CCD).
So...
I've got some questions I'm hopin' y'all can help me with:
What should I expect when I take my son to church for the first time?
He's a normal seven-year old boy, which is to say he's clinically insane and his butt won't sit still for more than 8 nanoseconds. I'm going to a new church (new to me) with a new priest/congregation/etc., so I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I'm planning on getting there early, sitting in the back, and being ready to bolt at the first sign of impending Boy meltdown...
How much information should I give him before our first mass?
The Catholic mass is confusing enough on its own - stand/sit/kneel; sing, chant, pray; shake hands, receive communion, pass the plate. I don't want to give him too much information, so that he starts worrying about it; on the other hand, I don't want to just walk in cold. I also haven't been to a mass in about, oh, a good decade or so... I'd guess there's probably a bunch of information out there about your kids' first time at church...
Which church should I bring him to for his first mass?
The local church, the one I went to growing up, still has one mass every Sunday even though they don't do CCD any more. However, it would make more sense to attend the mass that he'll be going to before CCD at the new church. Would it mess him up to attend a couple weeks' worth of services at one church and then start attending a new church regularly?
I think that's about it for now. I'm sure I'll have a bunch of new questions after his first church experience...
That is all.
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5 comments:
Well, apart from being a first order gunnie, I am also a practicing Catholic, a Eucharistic Minister (lay person that help out with Communion), a volunteer with RCIA (CCD for adults) and my son goes to Catholic school! So, naturally, I have some thoughts.
Keep in mind that Catholics are required to go to Mass every week. In MA, there are so many Catholic Churches that you can pretty much find a mass every hour, on the hour from 4:00 PM on Saturday to 5:00 PM on Sunday.
All kids are pretty antsy. See if your Church offers a "children's Mass", which, if you are lucky, will be shorter and more focused on the kids.
Don't "bolt on meltdown", just take him outside for a while, then come back. All the folks there have gone through it. Trust me: your kid sounds as loud as a fighter jet, but amazingly *other folk's kids* are not nearly as loud. Keep that in mind. Remember that other Catholics WANT your kids there (if they are real Catholics). Your son is the future of our faith, and most folks know that.
Tell him that there is alot of standing, sitting and kneeling, but it the same every week and he will get used to it.
I would get him to know his home parish (which is the one that you'll be going to as a family), but also tell him that other Churches are fine too. Getting the sense that the Catholic Church is bigger than one building is something that takes time, but it needs to be learned.
Also, get to know the priests there. It isn't hard and they are real folks. We used to have regular dinners with our priest in Boston. Really nice guy, and LOVED the Patriots.
If possible (and time permits), you ought to sit in on a few RCIA meetings. Nothing like jump-starting your own faith to really bring it home for your boy.
Good luck and email/call anytime if you have any questions!
Jay,
As a full-time Episcopalian (Roman Lite), I think the idea of just attending some services with him is a great start. If the congregation and priest are comfortable with each other, then the Mass will be a good experience. Ask him questions afterward to see if he has any questions.
And just seeing you at services will be a big help. (And probably a huge shock to the parish priest!)
Hunter
Ketchikan, AK
I've got nothing like Andrew's info, except to say that the problems we had were when the kids were very young. I got thrown out (!) of Easter Mass at Westminster Abbey in London (!) because #2 son found he could get an echo by squalking.
He thought it was cool (he was a year old).
#1 son was always no problem at all.
As to your question, if it were me, I'd go with him.
First, Go with him. Kids see what you DO, and retain it better than what you say. Walk the walk. Tell him what you do in Church. I take time for some introspection, read and listen to the Readings and ask myself how it applies to me.....
As for kids interupting Mass, the best Priest I ever knew put it something like this: "I do this proffesionally, and I have a PA system. If I can't get my point across over a reasonably behaved 5 year old's noise, either the power's gone out or I need some work on my delivery."
Good Luck....
I'd like to start by saying I recently stumbled upon your blog, and I enjoy it.
Anyway, as for different churches, I was in that same situation as a kid. The church we attended once a year (Christmas Eve Midnight Mass) did not offer CCD, so I went to another church for that. I have to admit I remember being a little curious as to why that was, but I believe all was good after an explanation, and lets be honest, as long as you’re at a traditional Roman Catholic church, the mass will be fairly similar. Also, I think it is great to raise a child while offering them some religious aspects. I am honestly glad my parents did that for me, even though I ended up rejecting them in my early 20s, it was a beneficial experience and background.
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