Here There (May) Be Monsters...

Brought BabyGirl G to the local YMCA this morning for her swimming lesson. While we were there, The Boy wanted to go over to the gym to shoot some baskets. I told him that I wanted to stay and watch BabyGirl G's swimming lessons (usually Mrs. G. takes her to swimming).

"It's okay, Dad, I can go over by myself" was his answer.

Now, the Y's not exactly in the best part of town. There's plenty of gangbangers and wanna-bes hanging around, "security" consists of a teenaged girl at the front desk who doesn't even look when folks walk by, and there's no supervision in the gymnasium. I'm just not comfortable letting my seven year old son go over to the gym on his own.

But how do I tell him that?

How do I tell him that there are people out there that would cause him harm simply because he looks different than they do, or because he "disrespected" them, or simply because he's smaller than they are and they can get away with it? Or, going to the next level, that some people might want to hurt him for no reason at all, either because of mental illness or just plain evil? How do I express my fears and apprehension without making him afraid to leave the house?

Now, granted, we've gone over "stranger danger" numerous times - his dojo is really good about getting the idea across to the younger participants, even teaching them the "magic wave" and other moves dedicated to helping them break free of an assailant. We've gone over what to do if he's approached by someone he doesn't know, what types of people to look for if he gets lost (women, or families, or someone in a uniform). The "Bobcat Trail" for Cub Scouts has a lot of information on keeping young kids safe.

But how do I explain the gray areas?

A wise friend had a good idea. Take a brown paper bag or a cardboard box. Explain to your kid that someone they don't know is like the bag/box without a label. There's no way of knowing what's inside. It could be something you like, like a candy bar. It could be something you don't like, like dried prunes. Or it could be something that could hurt you, like a mousetrap. I think I'm going to give this a shot. It's a good, solid idea that won't frighten the kids but gets the point across.

Parenthood is quite often a tightrope act, a delicate balance of doing too much vs. not doing enough. Walking the razor's edge between frightening your kids too much, so that they are afraid of their own shadow; or not honing their awareness enough, so that they're too trusting and eager and susceptible to the monsters that skulk among us.

My kids are safe with me. As I've said before, the only way harm will befall tham in my presence is literally over my lifeless body. But I can't be with them 24/7. I shouldn't be with them 24/7 - they've got to learn to live life, to experience life without the protective umbrella of mom & dad. I just hope I can give them all the tools they need to make the right choices and stay safe.

And G-d have mercy on the sonofabitch who tries to hurt either of my kids, because I certainly won't have any.

That is all.