Or maybe the top 10 cars you want to crush with a truck due to the way the hippies drive them. . .
Heh. While I love all cars, man, there are certain models that are indelibly linked to the "peace, love, and granola" crowd, their offspring, and the wanna-bes that try to be like them. In that vein, here are the top ten cars I associate with the hemp-lovin', patchouli-smellin', big-head paper machier puppet-makin', WTO-hatin' hippies.
1. VW Microbus. This is the number one hippie transport device like McDonald's is the number one fast food burger joint. No other vehicle is even remotely close. From "Cars" to "Land Down Under" to "The Wonder Years", no other automobile has been more intimately linked to the free love crowd.
2. Volvo 240 wagon. This seems to be the more recent transport of those who think that Bush=Hitler and that the biggest crime evah is the failure to legalize... There is literally one of these right down the street from me, a wagon circa 1986 or so, with no less than five anti-Bush stickers on it...
3. Saturn SL. For a while in the mid-1990s, the SL seemed to be the in-car for hippies. Of course, in the mid-1990s, the Saturn SL seemed to be the in-car for pretty much everyone - I personally knew about a dozen different couples that owned Saturns. Apparently the low price, reliable construction, and no-haggle policy appeals to those who love a good value much as they love Gaia.
4. Toyota Prius. Ah, the enviro-hippie. Where would we be without the smug, "greener than thou" condescension of those who have no compunction about driving a car that requires mechanics who might work on it be trained in emergency firefighting techniques should one of the battery compartments be ruptured inadvertantly? (This is from a friend of mine who's a master mechanic for Ford...)
5. VW New Beetle. Mostly favored by the female of the species (Hippius Nobathius), the New Beetle appealed to those who want to appear hip to their kids while maintaining a lifeline to the carefree lifestyle they enjoyed before the condom broke. Bummer, man. Oh, and it has a built-in vase on the dashboard for your flowers, man.
6. Subaru Outback (sorry Ross). For some reason, the Outback appeals to the wealthier hippie. Maybe it's because a good number of them live in Vermont, which is technically located within the Arctic Circle. Maybe it's because the station wagon allows them to transport more, um, hemp. In any case, there's plenty of 'Rus out there with "1-20-09" stickers on them...
7. Honda Insight. Looks like an EV1. Gets really good gas mileage. Ugly as sin. Sideskirts, for heaven's sake! The lack of a rear seat appears to be the only reason the Insight never caught on outside of folks who enjoy leg cramps and getting passed by mopeds and riding lawn mowers...
8. Geo Tracker. Sure, it's an eeeevil SUV, but it's cute and it's got a removable roof. Plus it's got 4WD, which is helpful for getting to the geodesic dome cabin you built in upstate Montana as your place to "get your head together". Just don't take any sharp corners, or you'll really experience a trip - to the hospital...
9. VW Eurovan. The Eurovan appealed primarily to the aging Baby Boomers trying desperately to recapture their lost youth (and remember back when they had hair *and* could see their toes). The Eurovan enjoyed a bit of gottahavititis in the US, as it was only available in 1993 and then for a brief period in the late 1990s.
10. Saab 96. This is kind of a personal one for me, as Mom G. had a Saab 96 when I was a wee sprog. Mom was an aspiring hippie, a conflicted soul yearning to be free who happened to be in love with "The Man". She wanted a VW Bug in the worst way, but Dad, as a cop, had responded to too many rollover accidents involving Beetles to permit his wife to get one. The Saab 96 was the next closest thing, so she got one and festooned it with flowers, peace signs, etc. Made for a funny sight in the driveway next to the Ford MSP police car...
And she traded it in on a 1977 Buick Regal, which could have fit the 96 in the trunk. Go figure...
I hope you've enjoyed this light-hearted look at the possible vehicular conveyances of the hippie and post-modern hippie movement. No actual hippies were harmed in the creation of this list, but only because none got close enough for me (or Fred Thompson) to punch.
Next week's theme? Top Ten Conservative cars... Heh.
That is all.
16 comments:
Jay, surely your post is not complete without the Smart Car!
And, just for fun, a link to Zombie's Concourse of Hypocrisy - "A cavalcade of gas-guzzling contemporary automobiles with hypocritical bumper stickers"
Lissa,
I don't know if the Smart Car is a hippie upgrade so much as it's a flavor-of-the-month for those that want to be trendy and hip.
Like the BMW Mini retro $30K microcar...
I had a Saturn SL once upon a time. It was as stripped down as possible, as my only requirement was AC.
The people who worked for me at the time called it my "sissy car", but hey, I walked in to Saturn, told them what I wanted, and walked out in less than an hour with a $12,000 cage that got close to 40 MPG.
I traded it for my current motorcycle, and a few household items a couple years later.
Jay,
The stench of patchouli oil is just overpowering . . .
Hey, ease up on Vermont will ya? lot of hemp, but it's A LOT easier to pack there than in most of CONUS. Bernie Sanders, the rep. neocons love to hate says gun control is a non-issue. That says something...
7. Honda Insight. Looks like an EV1.
Actually, I've always thought it looks like a rollerskate with a bit of body work.
LOL- I have friends in SFO that STILL have their microbus... carefully hidden away so none of their peers know about it. They are also still Deadheads!
Top 10 conservative cars next week, eh?
Don't overlook this one
www.tvhistory.tv/1950%20Ford.JPG
My favorite classic, and someday I'll own one. Not done with the "gotta have" gun list yet though.
The ubiquitous Subaru Station Wagon 1990 up to the dawn of the Outback is no doubt the official car of Maine Lesbians. Srsly, there's more wymyn with boy's regular haircuts driving around in those things than any other.
Just an observation.
Glad to see the Saab in there...seems there isn't one (in the northeast at least) without an ultra-leftie bumper sticker on it.
Hilarious!
The late, great automotive writer Ken Purdy was fond of saying "If you took every car in the world and lined them up end-to-end, somebody in a VW Microbus would pull out and try to pass them".
Jim
I thought I had nothing to add, and then this afternoon while driving up I-35, I saw a beat-up Eurovan with tribal drums in the back.
I recall with fondness the opening lines of the Idiot's Guide to the VW Bus. They went something like, "Imagine yourself as a human sacrifice strapped to the front bumper of your VW Bus. Because that is what you are when you drive it."
Jay, do you EVER get tired of sniping at my 'Ru? *grin*
I have to tell you that of the 4 instructors at this weekend's Valley Forge Memorial Appleseed Shoot (in over a FOOT of snow), two of them showed up driving LLBean Outbacks.
Not sure either of us really qualifies as a hippie, though. And my outback sports a "Massachusetts: Live Free Or Here" sticker. It will, however, have a 1-20-13 sticker on it as soon as I can order one.
Oh, BTW... one of our new Riflemen is 14 years old. He drove in with his father from southern NY state. When are YOU coming, Jay?
you are nothing but an ignorant, stupid red neck continuing to make stereotypes and further figure out reasons to hate other people cuz they aren't bald and skin head looking like yourself. How about I make a couple stereotypes? Why don't you go drink a budweiser, turn on nascar, smoke some meth, and then hit you wife? Fuck You ass hole
Wow. Someone needs to read the post listing - it's a fun thread.
Lighten up, Frances.
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