Monday, March 30, 2009

Flirtin' with Disaster...

Hoo, boy, did we have a close call yesterday...

I took The Boy to CCD after church, like we do every Sunday. It's held in the gymnasium of our parish's school, grades 1-5, with grades 6-8 held during the week. All of the Sunday CCD classes line up with their catechists in the gym, then head off to individual rooms after a short prayer.

Well, I look over at The Boy and see him looking quizzically. He has his hand in the pocket of his jacket, a jacket that had been in the closet since the fall (this comes in handy in a moment). All of a sudden, I see him pull out a shell casing. He looks over at me, holds it up for everyone to see, and exclaims, "Hey dad, look what I found!".

Bear in mind that in the state of MA, it's a felony to possess even components of ammunition without a permit...

I nonchalantly head over to see what he's holding, and when I get a bead on it, my heart plummets into my shoes. Fortunately, the only other adult present is the mom of one of my Cub Scouts, who looks at the benign piece of brass in his hand and gasps audibly.

"[The Boy], what is that" she asks.

"A bullet!" The Boy replies.

I step in, pocketing the brass in a fluid gesture that [hopefully] conceals my terror. I explain to the horrified mother that we attended the Veteran's Day ceremony in November, and that they fire a 21-gun salute to honor the veterans. At the end they call up the kids to pick up the brass as a souvenir (a practice I mentioned in my stint as Captain Buzzkill).

Well, Veteran's Day was the last time The Boy wore that particular jacket...

She seemed mollified by that response, especially when I pointed out that all of the Scouts had been invited to attend, and didn't we see her and her Scout there in support of our town's veterans? I also had to slightly bend the truth - I had to pretend I didn't know that they used modified M1 Garands and 1903 Springfield bolt-action rifles in the ceremony, stating only that they used "some sort of rifle" with blanks.

Figured in this case, discretion was definitely the better part of valor. Sure, I could have pointed out the different models of rifles used, but going all gun-geek on a soccer mom at CCD class just wouldn't have been a terrifically good idea. Especially since we're hoping to recruit her husband as the pack Committee chair when my current chair crosses over with his son in two years... I figure I'll have at least a year to work on getting him to the range....

Have I mentioned lately that I hate this state?

That is all.

13 comments:

karrde said...

You mean you couldn't just say, "my son was mistaken this isn't a bullet...it's one of those empty brass things a gun ejects when it shoots a bullet."

....still too gun-geeky.

Jay G said...

Yeah, I figured that saying, "Actually, it's a spent casing from a military-issue 1903 Springfield or an M1 Garand modified to shoot blanks, not a bullet" probably wouldn't have gone all that well.

So far, no squad cars at the G. house... ;)

Anonymous said...

I'd of blown across the top of it and said,"A bullet? It's just a whistle."

Brass

Wally said...

It's a shoulder thing that goes up ?

one-eyed Jack said...

Next time, just swallow the casing. Jack.

Borepatch said...

"We've found a witch! Can we burn her? Err, him?"

Buck said...

Now you are going to have to take the time to explain to your son the difference in bending the truth and lying.

Life is damn complicated.

Anonymous said...

My God, Jay! You live in a state where possession of an empty, fired case is illegal?

You need to emigrate to America! Srsly.

Jon

Jay G said...

What makes it even MORE complicated is explaining the concept of a lie by omission...

I never uttered a word of untruth.

Technically.

I just didn't tell all that I knew...

And Jon, believe me, I would love to get out. Unfortunately, Mrs. G. doesn't share my desire for escape, and as such has put the brakes on all plans to move for the immediate future... :(

Buck said...

Don't worry Jay. Your son, like the rest of us, will figure it out as he goes along.

It is in our nature.

Unknown said...

It's sad how far New England has fallen...

From Winchester, UMC, Ruger, S&W, and on and on...

To brass case bring your ass to jail.

*sighs*

There go the rest of the states to but for the grace of God...

ASM826 said...

If you read all your comments, you'll probably delete this one.

WHAT THE FUCK? THAT IS ABSOLUTELY BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE! HOW IN THE NAME OF ODIN DID ANY STATE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA GET TO THE WRETCHED STATE WHERE POSSESSION OF AN EMPTY BRASS CASING IS A CRIME? FLEE MASSACHUSETTS WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

Jay G said...

The only comments I delete are spam.

Believe me, I want out. BAD.

Unless and until I can either convince the Mrs. to move, I'm stuck.

At least until BabyGirl G. goes off to college.

Hmmm. She's pretty sharp. Maybe she'll be one of those Doogie Hauser types...

;)