Friday, April 24, 2009

Friday Fun Thread: Top Ten Death Traps...

Yesterday I put out a plea for help - and y'all came through in spades, yielding several more weeks of excellent Friday lists. This week's suggestion came from Sir Limerick:
Top 10 deathtraps?

So here goes!

1. Ford Pinto. Well, duh. Cars that explode when hit from behind gain automatic entry to the list. Given that the Pinto is arguably the single best known example of this engineering fail, it makes #1 quite handily...

2. Chevrolet Corvair. The car that catapulted Ralph Nader from "Crazy crank with an axe to grind" to "potential presidential candidate who looks like he pulls his suits out of a Pringles can" in "Unsafe at Any Speed" has to be at the top of the list.

3. Suzuki Samurai. Ah, no nostalgic trip through the late 1980s would be complete without the dramatic footage of the "poor man's Jeep" rolling over in a tight turn. Having ridden in one of these "vehicles", I'd offer that the danger was overblown, as the likelihood of it getting up sufficient speed to be dangerous was unlikely...

4. Chevrolet Caprice. The fourth generation Caprice had a significant design flaw - the seat belt anchors were located on the doors. This lead to cases where high-speed frontal collisions - such as those sustained by police cars, which the Caprice was used for - would eject the driver from the vehicle because they were wearing their seatbelt.

5. Toyota Previa. Toyota's second attempt at the minivan (dubbed "The Egg", which replaced the first generation DX which was affectionately known as "The Toaster") had significant safety issues in crash tests, particularly with the A pillar shearing and the entire body crumpling...

6. Ford Bronco II. In the furor brought about by the Samurai's rollover propensity, it came to light that the Ford Bronco II was actually worse in the rollover department. Fortunately, they were most often in the shop for other repairs and therefore didn't affect too many people...

7. Buick Rendezvous. Dubbed by Forbe's as the "most dangerous SUV", the Rendezvous was rated as Forbe's Magazine's Most Dangerous Car because of its poor performance in crash tests - three out of five stars, which is practically rolling death on wheels in the land of the five star rating...

8. Chevrolet Aveo. Ranked by Forbe's as the most dangerous car of 2009, once again, unacceptable crash test data damn Chevy's smallest offering. This is really a placeholder, though, for a good number of small cars on the road that just don't fare well in crashes with other, larger vehicles.

9. Chevrolet Corvette. The 'Vette makes the list because it has been ranked as the vehicle that has the highest percentage of deaths of any model. This is a somewhat misleading statistic, as the Corvette's sales numbers are dwarfed by, say, the Accord. The Corvette puts world-class performance and power into a package that, only 5-6 years used, is affordable to just about any turkey with a license...

10. Ford Explorer. Another "rollover" victim; however this one more due to dealerships manipulating tire pressure for a more car-like ride than actual design. The predominance of the Explorer on the roadways made it a ripe target for a scare campaign, especially as an eeeevil SUV...




So there's my list of dangerous cars. Some may or may not have been unfairly targeted, basing the "unsafe" rating on theoretical crash ratings and/or improper presentation. Some have real world data backing up the unsafe moniker. In any case, great care and caution should be taken when approaching one of these dangerous beasts, as they are known to strike without provoca- oh, never mind, that's the wolverine...

So, once again I ask, what did I miss?

That is all.

21 comments:

ExurbanKevin said...

#1 in the "Made-up Controversy Designed to Sell High-End Japanese Luxury Cars" division has to be the Audi 5000's "unintended acceleration" defect.

And the winner in the "Made-up Controversy Designed to Increase Ratings for a Dying News Show" division is Chevy Pickup Trucks.

My candidate for the Military Fake Controversy Division is the M2 Bradley: It turns out what John Kerry called "deathtraps" came in mighty handy in the streets of Fallujah...

Anonymous said...

Jay I have another entry in the "too small to be on the road" entry - the Smart Car. Its a car that when in its original form could actually fit into a Pringles can before it gets into a crash!

Mike W. said...

As a former Pontiac Fiero owner I'm surprised it's not on the list.

The earlier 4-banger version was even more of a death trap than my POS.

Brad_in_MA said...

Jay,
Glad to see the Pinto on the top of the list. I direct you to the clip from the movie Top Secret where some truck barely taps the rear bumper of a Pinto and both vehicles burst into a magnificent fireball of death.

- Brad

Steve M. said...

Any rear-engine, rear drive, like Beetle and Porshe 911, for the exact same reasons as the Corvair. Go into a conner too fast, and there is no saving it. The rule, (at least for Porshe) was: brake heavily entering the conner, punch it leaving. These designs were inordinately sensitive to uneven tire pressure.

VW micro bus: your were the bug on the other guy's windshield.

Almost anything imported from the UK by Morris, Triumph or MG. at 1,100 pounds, you were at risk of injury from even a minor collision with any of the cars on your list. It will fit neatly under my pickup with just a liiittle scraping.

The first year Subaru came to America: and it had suicide doors to boot! I think it had a 0.9L air-cooled, front mounted, opposed twin. There are two rusting away at my friends farm, in NH

The First Honda; the 1100, yes, it really did come with a motor cycle engine. I'm not sure whether 1100 stood for the displacement or the weight; it is a close call for both. Four people could easily pick it up (in order to place it tightly between two poles!)

dr mac said...

Mike W. definitely had it right with the Pontiac, so appropriately named, 4 wheels below a barbaque.

Bitmap said...

I vote for Ralph Nader getting the award for "Best way to make an idiot into a millionaire while ruining the most advanced car to come out of Detroit up to that time."

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm. Big difference in the Corvette and the rest is the driver. The others may be inherently dangerous, not so with the Vette.

Old NFO said...

The Firestone 500s on the Pinto :-)

danno said...

I'll nominate the Ford Crown Victoria police cruiser. The gas tank may rupture in a rear end crash.

Several examples to choose from, google "crown victoria fiery explosion"

Rabbit said...

The Suzuki Samauri is much more stable if you replace the dinky little pressed steel wheels that came on it with wider-offset wheels patterned for a Ford F-250. A friend of mine had one which he rigged like this and it gained about 10 inches in width sidewall-to-sidewall, and it was stable at any speed or road condition after that.

I did a similar trick to my Sidekick. No discernible body lean.

Regards,
Rabbit.

Eric R. Shelton said...

For further snark, it should be mentioned that the Chevy Aveo is really nothing more than a re-badged Daewoo. Yeah, those Korean cars that were so crappy the company folded in the US within, what, three years?

Stretch said...

Saw a Pinto in full flames back in '81. Next morning I found out friend was in back seat. She survived and needed only minor plastic surgery on neck and ears. Ford executives became fair game after that.
Had my Explorer for 12 years. Never had a single episode of "near roll over" 'cause I own and use a tire gauge. Add the Mini (original and new)to the list.

Anonymous said...

I have been driving Ford Explorers for several years now, and probably use a tire gauge a little too infrequently, but if you have the right tires on them it's not that big of a problem.

Worst accident I got in one was accidentally sideswiping a highway guard rail at 70mph after I got distracted while driving a 2000 model. I was expecting some pretty severe damage, but it had those goofy looking plastic fenders, and they make em tough. There are just a few scratches in the plastic. No dents, and everything was in one piece. Surprised the hell out of me.

tjbbpgobIII said...

Not to even mention that the Ford Bronco would not pull a sick whore off a pisspot.

Vincetastic said...

Hey Jay, this is a really great top ten list. I can't believe that they designed the Pinto and thought it was a good idea. At the very least they could have put the gas tank in the very front so you blew up if it was your fault. The "Exploder" is a good pick, especially if they have bridgestone tires. You can post this to our site http://www.toptentopten.com/ and then link back to your site. We are looking for top ten lists and our users can track back to your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

Ross said...

Jay, did you know that Uhaul will NOT rent a trailer to anyone who's planning to tow it with an Explorer because it's not stable and is likely to roll over?

At least, that's their excuse. Wife's Explorer has 150K+ and hasn't rolled over yet. Of course, I, too, have a tire gauge... as does my wife.

Bruce said...

I made out in the back seat of a Corvair once, with a girl that my friend "liked"...my friend who was driving said Corvair to a party we were going to.

(Sorry, dude.)

Aaaaah...youth.

Anonymous said...

Both the Pinto and the Corvair are a bad rap. In the pinto's case, the infamous ford memo about cost per deaths wasn't about the pinto, or any of their cars, and was in response to a question from their legal dept. Of the over one million Pinto's built, something like 29 had fatal fires from rear end collisions. And in most of the crashes, the car that hit them was a full size vehicle, at high speed. Any small car in that situation would have been in trouble.

As for the Corvair, the NTSB had an investigation which totally cleared there being any problems with the design. which was a moot point, as the damage done by Nader had been done, and the report diddn't come out untill the 1970s.

Anonymous said...

60's Mustangs are fireballs too.. even more disturbing, they spew the contents of the gas tank throughout the passenger compartment.. Instant Charbroil !
They do have reinforcement steel plate kits to fix it though... BEWARE !!!!!

Leif Erickson said...

It wasn't the dealerships causing the Ford Explorer fiasco - the tire pressure labels on the door jamb from the factory recommended 26 psi in the front tires. Way too low for a 36 psi tire. People that ran 32-36 psi didn't have any problems. Oh well, just call all of your tires Bridgestone now and get rid of that pesky Firestone name...