Thursday, April 9, 2009

Kids Say The Darnedest Things...

Okay, so the other night I'm leafing through the latest issue of Guns backwards 'R' a Big Industry magazine, and The Boy sees an ad for an AR-15 variant. He says, "Dad, is that an M-16?" I give the nickel answer - no, it's an AR-15; the M-16 is a machine gun and we can't get them without spending more than what mommy's car costs.

You know what comes next. He asks "the question" - "Daddy, do you have one of those?"

So, it's off to the armory with The Boy. Take the Bushmaster out and show it to him, pointing out that there is no magazine in the gun, then pull the bolt back for a visual inspection of the chamber (he liked the chrome-lined barrel; obviously he takes after his old man in being distracted by shiny things).

"Can I hold it?" he asks, eyes all aglow with wonder.

"Sure thing, pal. I'll spot ya".

I hand it to him and let him position it properly (pointing out into the back yard - from the second floor, so Earth is the backstop) - made him recite the Four Rules before he took possession, natch. He holds it for a few moments, peers through the scope that AD so generously gave me, then gives it back carefully.

"Dad?"

"Yes, [The Boy]?"

"I know why soldiers do so many push-ups."

"Really? Why is that?"

"So they have lots of muscles to hold up their rifles"

Heh. He's just lucky I don't have a Garand...

That is all.

18 comments:

Mulligan said...

Anyone our drill sergeants heard calling their m-16 rifle a machine gun got to do push-ups. M-60 is the machine gun.

Mulligan said...

Waaaait a minute ..... you know that already..

are you trying to trick the kid ?

tricky parents are my kryptonite.

Jay G said...

"Machine gun" an 8 year old can grok.

"Select-fire assault rifle", not so much...

The thing to stress was that daddy's rifle is NOT a machine gun. Of any sort.

I figured I was taking enough of a chance showing him the rifle as it was - the LAST thing I want is him bragging in school about "Daddy's machine gun"...

jimbob86 said...

I know why soldiers do so many push-ups."

"Really? Why is that?"

"So they have lots of muscles to hold up their rifles"

Heh. He's just lucky I don't have a Garand...

Soldiers were tougher back in the days we had REAL, honest to goodness medium bore battle rifles....

That said, kiddos DO say the darndest things:

Dinnie, my youngest, announced (in the gravest tone possible for a 4 year old) at the dinner table last night, "Dad's gonna die soon..... cause he's SOOOOOO old."

Mulligan said...

see that's why I'd be no good as a parent...

I'd have spent 6 months tryin to explain it and probably had a coronary. That vacant eye'd stare little kids do so well just makes the vein in my temple throb.

Anonymous said...

Did you make him sign "The Four Rules" song?

Have Tam sing it for you. She loves it.

Shootin' Buddy

Anonymous said...

That's "sing", not sign.

Of course, knowing ASL would not do the boy wrong.

:-)

Shootin' Buddy

Borepatch said...

... and an angel just got its wings!

jimbob86 said...

"see that's why I'd be no good as a parent..."

Don't sell yourself so short, Mulligan: if you pay any attention whatsoever to kids, you are miles ahead of a good percntage of parents today.......

wolfwalker said...

He's just lucky I don't have a Garand...

Or a [nonfunctional, of course] BAR. Which really WAS a light machine gun for all practical purposes.

zeeke42 said...

If you want to show the Boy the weight of a real man's rifle, I'm happy to lend you my M1.

Weer'd Beard said...

Toss him the M44!

And that's the LIGHT Russian Infantry rifle!

My M1891 weighs a TON!

agg79 said...

Sounds like it is time for a father-son range day.

Brad_in_MA said...

Jay,
The Turk ain't so light either. Let the lad heft that for a bit.

Jay G said...

Shootin' Buddy,

Hmmm. The "Four Rules Song".

Maybe we could convince Tam to call into Gun Nuts and sing it... ;)

Borepatch,

Heh. I would have taken a picture of the lad with the rifle, but I'd rather wait until we're at the range with it. You know, eyes, ears, proper form and all.

Of course, it'll be a while before he's shooting the AR - I want to start him slow on .22LR first...

wolkwalker,

The public range closest to my house (which is also a gun shop) has a functioning BAR hanging on the wall...

Oh yes. If I only had my green card and a spare $25K or so... ;)

zeeke42,

Heh. I will have a Garand someday. Honest. But thanks for the offer.

weer'd beard,

That or the 590. With bayonet, of course...

agg79,

Yup.

This is the year. Need to get the M-49 out of the safe and cleaned and oiled for the trip. And secure a cameraman for the event...

(speaking thereof...)

brad,

Ooooh, not a bad idea at all. The Mauser.

With bayonet!

zeeke42 said...

Jay, obviously you need to get a 22LR conversion for the AR.

Anonymous said...

More of a chant than a song. Developed for Shootin' Buddy's (many) nephews:

My gun is loaded, yes it is,
this one is Kirk's and so is his.

I'll point my gun at nothing at all,
I'll only point it at a brick wall.

My finger is straight, isn't this great,
in this I'll never hesitate.

I know my target and what's behind,
knowing this gives me peace of mind.

Shootin' Buddy

Anonymous said...

The chant/diddy/poem/song is a variant of the Four Rules poem at API back when it was API (and all this was orchard, you kids get off my lawn).

It was published in "Self-Defense Requires No Apology" by Ms. Jan Jones in the mid-80s, when all of this was farmland and we called nickels bees and I wore a onion on my belt which was the style at the time. I then took the ferry to Shelbyville, which in those days was called . . . .

Where was I? Oh, yeah, here's a link to the book: http://www.rayrilingarmsbooks.com/cgi-bin/rrb455.cgi/13135

Shootin' Buddy