Child Abuse...

No, TheBoy didn't push me to get the belt. I saw a different form of child abuse the other night, and have decided to chuck caution to the wind and expound on it a bit. You see, TheBoy just got promoted in swimming to the next rank up, having been on the edge of "Minnow" and "Fish" (beginner/intermediate and full-blown intermediate, for those not versed in the YMCA's grading system for swimmers) for a while now. Baseball season is currently in full swing, and his team practice and Monday night games were preventing him from attending either of the two "minnow" classes offered.

We were going to simply pull him out of swimming lessons entirely, as he would have missed last Monday's lesson as well as next week because of a baseball game, then a week in June when we go to Disney. The instructor mentioned that she'd been thinking of promoting him, and that there was an advanced class ("Fish") on Tuesday nights (when we currently have nothing scheduled). Bingo! We have a plan. Yay! Well, I brought him to his first lesson Tuesday night. The Fish class is larger than Minnow, as there is only one class as opposed to three. Two things immediately jumped out at me: 1. TheBoy is the smallest boy in the class, as he's a good year or two younger than the rest; and 2. He's the only boy and one of 3 children not borderline obese.

Now, I'll take a break here to interject that I know I'm biased. I'm a recovering food addict lardass, having spent most of my adult life and all of my childhood as "portly", "chubby", "chunky", and any other euphemism for "fat tub of goo" you can dream up. I've been there, the kid too ashamed of his rolls of fat to take his shirt off at the water park; the kid always picked last for dodgeball because he presents the largest target (and is therefore the first one hit and out). But every other boy in the class was overweight; all but one appeared to be obese. Three out of the six had bellies that rivaled the most stereotypical beer-swilling redneck. The girls in the class were marginally better, with two in the "normal" weight category, another two as mildly overweight, and two outright obese. Maybe it's the cranky old man in me coming out, but I do not remember kids being that heavy when I was a kid - and believe me, as "that kid", I would have remembered if most of my classmates were fat like me. And even at that, I was never obese like these kids - I could see my toes.

Why are so many of these kids overweight? Studies put the number of obese kids today at up to 1/3 of all children - this is not just one or two kids in a classroom; this is like 8-10 kids in any given classroom. It's particularly vexing given the palate-boggling array of low-calorie options available in this day and age; it's not terribly difficult to prepare tasty, low-calorie meals. There are many possible reasons: too much time spent in front of TV watching Spongebob or playing PS3; too many trips to McDonald's because the drive-thru is easier than cooking; fear of damaging Junior's fragile self-esteem leads to an utter inability to say no...

In any case, it's just plain wrong.

There's a point at which you need to step back, take stock, and say, no, I'm sorry, we can't go to McDonald's tonight. No, you can't watch any more TV today; go outside and play. We need to remember that being the adult means you need to say no; you need to make the unpopular decisions; you need to be the authority figure rather than the BFF. Rather than let your child devolve into Jabba the Kid, put 'em on a treadmill. Hand 'em a Huffy, point to the street, and tell 'em not to come back until there is noticeable wear on the tires...

Movin', movin', movin'... Keep them kiddies movin'...

That is all.