Ah, spring. The swallows have returned to Capistrano, the trees are opening their leafy canopies, and the yellow-red-and-blue shirted morons are clogging up the streets. Yes, the bikers are back, and I don't mean my brethren on Harleys, Hondas, and BMWs. I mean the spandex-clad Lance Armstrong wanna-bes on their Fujis, LeMonds, and Cannondales. You know the ones I mean; the ones riding three abreast on a narrow country road, or weaving in and out of traffic on congested city streets. They're the ones that chose to be an automobile when it suits them, riding down the center of the road because "we are traffic" yet expecting cars to come to a screeching halt just because they come within 20 feet of a crosswalk - while still riding.
I detest these folks for the same reason I hate squids on sportbikes - they make life difficult for the rest of us who enjoy the pastime. Every time I see some yutz lifting the front wheel of his CBR, I know there's a dozen or so people looking at him and forming a negative opinion of motorcyclists because of his risk-taking. Whenever I see a pack of identically-clad Tour-de-France rejects riding merrily down the road at 15 MPH (dudes? You will NEVER get an official sponsor at that speed!), with a line of traffic rivalling that which my grandmother used to command, I know that the next time I hop on my Haro there will be folks in cars who think I'm "one of them."
It's a gross generalization, to be certain, but my rule of thumb is that the more crap they've got on their shirts, the more clueless they are...
Basic common courtesy and good plain horse sense go a long way, folks. When you're a 200 lb. cyclist on a 20 pound bike playing chicken with a 3 ton truck, you will lose. Spectacularly. All I'm gonna do is hose down the front of the truck and harvest whatever Shimano components I can from the wreckage. Like Mom G. always told me: You can be right, but you can also be dead right (and when you make a left turn in front of my while I'm going straight, you ain't even in the right...)
I'll be damned if I'm going to run off the road and endanger my kids for your endorphin rush.
What really burns my ass is that 99% of the time these self-righteous dillweeds will have "Share the road" stickers plastered all over their cars. Look, Einstein, I'm more than happy to share the road with cyclists. I'll leave room so you can ride up the side. I'll pass you with a wide margin if you're in a single file. I'll give you back every bit of respect you give me. Ride three abreast, buzz around my truck, refuse to yield when I've got the right of way, and you get no quarter from me. And remember, the next guy may not have my amazing impulse control and decide to bounce the towing mirror off your aerodynamic helmet...
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Aretha knows it. Now you know it too...
That is all.
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8 comments:
You need to start putting little pictures of bicyclists on the side of your truck (sotra like the WWI flying aces). Can you get extra points if you can make them land in a ditch?
Those annoying little snots think they own the road. Go ahead. challenge me and my 4000+ land barge. We'll see who has the winning hand.
I always say "another jerk risking his life for a little exercise" And, what happened to the occasional bike ride? Who decided you have to get all the silly kit ? Can't you just ride a normal bike around the block? You know, one with fenders. Ah well.
agg79,
Heh. "kill flags" would probably get me fewer looks than the NRA/GOAL/RKBA stickers already on the truck, actually...
Like I said, those that ride with courtesy get courtesy shown right back. Those that do not, well... Towing mirrors hurt... ;)
libertyman,
It's funny that you mention that. A single-speed bicycle with coaster brake is in the near future for me. It's time to put those sissy gears to rest - I want something with wide bars, a padded seat, and fenders!
It's still worse in December in Cambridge when they're peddling through inch-deep slush-and-ice as I attempt to pass them PRAYING I don't hear a helmet crunch under my back tires.
Yeah every time I hop on my bike I make it a point to not be one of them.
The worst are the ones you have to cross well into the opposite lane to pass....only to have to do it again because stoplights don't concern them.
Grrrrr
Having rode peddle bikes for 40+ years, where 100+ mile days were common, I can think of nothing more rude (or stupid) than intentionally impeding traffic. As a non-motorized rider you have the responsibilities of both a motorist and a pedestrian with less less rights than either. You can't ride on the sidewalk or make pedestrians move out of your way (especially at cross walks) and you CAN NOT ride in the middle of the street anymore than you can play in traffic. I give a friendly toot, stay in my lane, don't touch the brakes or steering, and leave the rest is up to God.
I have little to add to this except, "Ayup." People seem to have forgotten the still-very-valid "Law of Gross Tonnage"... Hopefully this post will not be stumbled across by someone of a similar bent as those folks you are castigating, though... The diatribes (and violence - see an event in Seattle last year) they can put forward rival some of the best rants of the Kossians.
Got yelled at coming out of the church parking lot one Sunday by a fine fellow cycling on the sidewalk, against traffic, not wearing a helmet. Had he been riding legally, I would have seen him. (I came nowhere near hitting him, by the way; he just thought I should wait for him.)
I was thinking pretty much exactly this post this morning driving to school. Law here says that bicyclists must obey all the same laws as motor vehicles, with the further restriction of riding to the far right hand side of the road unless about to make a left turn. Both the men this morning--neither of whom had on a helmet, by the way--were riding dead center down the traffic lane. One ran a red light, the other a stop sign.
Worst offenders, though, are the bicycle cops.
Sabra,
Interestingly enough, I've never been yelled at, even though I've done things like lay on the horn from 3' off their rear tire (I thought I was going to have to clean something off the front of the truck for that one!).
Then again, a 6' tall shaved head biker driving a 3 ton pickup truck with gun & Harley stickers all over it probably isn't @ their level of comfort... ;)
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