Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Gotta Cash In...

So Marko's set up a Cafe Press shop. Go. Check it out. Buy a bumper sticker or T-shirt. Bruce has two (err, three) shops. Ambulance Driver has a shop as well. Seems like all the cool kids have proprietary merchandise.

Well, it's about time to ramp up the awesome power of the MArooned Marketing Machine...

I was trying to figure out what, exactly, could go on a T-shirt or bumper sticker, and was thinking of phrases unique to this particular corner of the intarweb. Here's what I came up with so far:
  • "That is all" (perhaps too esoteric)

  • "Lead, Follow, or Get the F**K Out of My Way" (the JayG Driving School)

  • "A Shotgun Without A Bayonet Is Like A Day Without Sunshine"

  • "I Hate the Republicans and the Democrats. I Just Hate the Republicans a Little Less" (political philosophy, could be adapted for the other party)

  • "Ă˜bama" (might not sell well in Cambridge)

And for graphics, well, there's always my personal favorite:






So... I'm afraid to ask, but what other unique "Jayisms" can y'all think of?

That is all.

12 comments:

Brad_in_MA said...

Jay,

The answer is so simple, plainer than the (copious) nose on your face. Just look at the right-hand sidebar on the page . . .

JayG - The virtuoso of vitriol

JayG - totally unhinged, but in a
fun sort of way

JayG - A cross between Dr. Evil and
John Malkovich

Get the idea? Good.

Oh, and props for the pic

JD said...

People lover top 10 lists. . . you have plenty of top 10 car lists. . . .

Jay G said...

Brad,

Oooh, I hadn't thought of using the "What People Are Saying About Me" quotes. Good idea!

Just as long as I stay away from Ambulance Driver's "Minute-of-berm", of course...

JD,

Hmmm. Top Ten list of sayings? Dunno if I could come up with 10...

wolfwalker said...

I hate to be a wet blanket, but you oughta check on using the "3 Rules for dating my daughter." Somebody somewhere may well have that idea copyrighted.

Some ideas that perhaps you _can_ use:

* Those "You Might Be a Gun Nut If..." posts

* Photos and quips from the Northeast Bloggershoots

And there has got to be a way to work "The Snubbie From Hell" in there somewhere.

wolfwalker said...

Oh one more idea that I toss to you gratis because f'damnsure I'll never use it.

A while back you did a post titled "Caliber Wars" with a photo of various handgun rounds. Imagine a T-shirt with that picture on it, and this caption underneath:

"CALIBER WARS
The only losers are the goblins"

(or "The real losers are the goblins")

Anonymous said...

Um, most guys don't boast about a snubbie. Even if it is from hell.

I'm just sayin'.

Ambulance Driver said...

Just as long as I stay away from Ambulance Driver's "Minute-of-berm", of course...

Damn, beat me to it.

"When the best you can hope for is minute-of-berm, use a shotgun with a bayonet."

"Jay G: And people say 'bug-eyed and hyperactive' like it's a bad thing!"

"Jay G: Bayonetting Teletubbies since 2006..."

"Snubbie From Hell - Directions for use:

1. Draw weapon.

2. Point at your attacker.

3. Growl menacingly, "Back off, or I'll make you shoot this thing."

Bruce said...

You didn't mention my most profitable Cafepress shop:

http://www.cafepress.com/recalldeval

Jay G said...

Cheerfully corrected.

SCI-FI said...

I can supply graphic-work...

But, sadly, not wit.

Grayson said...

O.K., here's a few off-hand suggestions:

'Jay G. Using fear to cure liberals of constipation since 2007'

'Jay G. Putting the fun back into 'dysFUNctional since 2007.'

'Jay G. says, "Support the American clothing and textile industry AND make liberals crap themselves at the same time -
BUY A GUN. THAT IS ALL.'

aaaaand finally...

'Next on Mythbusters: special guest Jay G. attempts to prove that "recoil therapy" not only exists, but is far more effective for reducing stress than, say, dropping a goblin onto a fire hydrant.'

By the way, has anyone out there in blogland noticed that there is no safe or painless way for a goblin to fall on a fire hydrant?

(MY GOSH, the stuff that comes to mind when I'm delightfully intoxicated.)

Grayson said...

and yet another one (I might be on a roll, here)

'I need recoil therapy. When does the zombie apocalypse start?'