Stripper's 'sex toy rape accidental'
A BUCK'S night reveller was completely naked and on his hands and knees when he allegedly was raped by a stripper with a "statuesque'' pink sex toy, a court has heard.
Stripper Linda Maree Naggs, 40, will argue the rape of the best man at the party in the bayside Melbourne suburb of Mornington in September 2007 was an accident.
The alleged victim had volunteered to take part in a dildo routine, but asked the stripper not to penetrate him, the Victorian County Court heard.
Oh, there's just so much wrong with this story... I'll let the chat log at GBC tell the tale:
[xyankeeworkshop]: http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,25853780-5005962,00.html
[xyankeeworkshop]: "You said you weren't going to do that and you did,'' he told the stripper after the alleged rape. ``Do you think this is a joke when there is blood.''
[xyankeeworkshop]: Note to self...
[JayG]: Stay WAY the hell away from Aussie hookers?
[JayG]: Or???
[Lokidude]: New Rule: if you're naked, on your hands and knees, don't be surprised if penetration occurs.
[xyankeeworkshop]: there are many, many notes to take away from this
[Salamander]: Aww hell
[David]: when you drop the soap, don't bend to pick it up
[Salamander]: I wonder if his friends were like "WHAT THE HELL IS MIKEY DOIN'?"
[JayG]: "Dude, when I said I got your back... I GOT your BACK"...
[Salamander]: hehe
[JayG]: Are you kidding Sal?
[Salamander]: which?
[JayG]: His friends were slipping her $10 spots to "ride him like a bronco"...
[Salamander]: lol
[JayG]: I mean, that's what I'd do...
[JayG]: you're dumb enough to drop to all fours stark nekkid in front of a stripper with a strap-on...
[JayG]: I'm gonna take pictures.
[Salamander]: ...for a dildo routine
[Unix-Jedi]: Serves him right for serving as best man
[Salamander]: Heh, forever after, when someone has lost their keys. "Did you check Mike's ass?"
[Salamander]: Poor guy
[Lokidude]: "Hey, guys, remember that time Tom got fucked up the ass?"
[Lokidude]: Every party, you know that's coming out.
Mental note: Cancel plans to visit Australia...
That is all.
10 comments:
WTF?
Just
WTF?
Wow. I must have missed out when I went Down Under...
OMG. I am laughing so hard. Just the thought of a stripper's dildo is enough to make me go take a shower with Lysol and I am nowhere near a germaphobe.
I still want to know what the hell he THOUGHT was going to come of being butt-nekkid doggy-style in front of a stripper with a strap on?
Sounds like he got the ultimate payback... dumbass...
On the other hand, his next prostate check won't seem like a big deal.
Okay, that made coffee shoot out my nose right there, ASM826...
The important part of this story is that their stripper was 40 years old. Caveat emptor and all, you dumb Aussies.
Here's another comment, Jay.
Sabra mentioned showering with Lysol, take a look at this old Lysol ad:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mrbill/37804459/sizes/o/in/set-834100/
There's a whole set of these ads, google "old lysol ads".
Anyway, it always made me think of a woman who had been using Lysol for this purpose for years. One day her husband comes home to find she had cleaned the kitchen floor and he is uncontrollably aroused by the mop bucket.
I disagree with ASM826. Next time the guy goes for a prostate exam, the proctologist is probably going to get his finger broken off.
Just speculating.
By the way, the thought just occured to me: at a 'party' like this, would it be considered acceptable to offer the stripper a bottle of lubricant?
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