Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tales of the Road Warrior...

Ah, school is back in session. Yellow busses, crowds of kids, traffic... It's that time of the year where we all get back into our routine after the summertime slowdown. Some folks adjust worse than others, like:
  • The soccer mom who tailgated me at a distance no greater than six feet - through three towns. Y'know, nothing says "good morning" like plowing your expensive European-branded über-SUV into the rear-end of a big ol' American pickup truck. That round emblem on the front is gonna look awfully funny driven into your engine block by my class IV receiver hitch...
  • The person piloting the minivan in front of me that had no taillights whatsoever. None. It's always fun to start my morning commute with a rousing game of "Guess what the hell this guy's doing!"...
  • The hybrid sedan which was traveling approximately 10 - 15 miles an hour below the speed limit and weaving from side to side down the road. Obviously it was a VERY important phone conversation; I can only assume they were directing brain surgery or landing 747s due to the amount of concentration it took away from their driving "skills".
  • The mongoloid driving the tree service truck - pulling a large trailer - that had to look up directly at the "NO LEFT TURN" sign to make sure his truck would clear AS HE MADE A LEFT TURN.
  • People in general who do not understand that the big, octagonal red sign with the letters "S", "T", "O", and "P" on it means STOP. Not slow down a little, not speed up so you can cut the big black truck off, but STOP, mo-fo. Cease all forward motion. Set m X V = 0. Apply sufficient force to the brake pedal as to cause the pads to contact the rotors, bringing your vehicle to a full stop. DO NOT KEEP GOING.

*sigh* It's gonna be a long year...

That is all.

3 comments:

Mad Saint Jack said...

OT: Ed Morrissey at HotAir.com knows how to use the word Mayhem.


http://hotair.com/archives/2009/09/03/
mike-tyson-strategy-replacing-cloward-
piven/

ZerCool said...

I've always thought a Me/Be, Bimmer, or what-have-you would look pretty silly with a Ram/Frontier/Titan as a hood ornament ... Hell, I know it'd make me laugh!

KurtP said...

At least your stop sign morons don't want to wait until the sign turns green.