If you want war, let it start here. 9.31 inches of rain wasn't bad enough. Flood warnings on two of the rivers that intersect my commute. Winds that toppled trees - again - and ripped down fences, sometimes reaching sustained speeds nearing hurricane proportions. I can live with that. Nothing terrifically out of the ordinary.
And then you went and took down my Gadsden flag. It's on, bitch.
I'm gonna start driving to work with the air conditioning on, in four wheel drive,with the e-brake partially depressed. I'm busting out my secret horde of 1980s-era Aqua Net, complete with 110% of the USRDA of chlorofluorocarbons. I solemnly promise to only use virgin paper made from old growth forest and spotted owl nests. I might even look for real styrofoam coffee cups from now on rather than those crappy cardboard ones.
You shouldn't have messed with a man's Gadsden...
That is all.
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9 comments:
Don't forget leaving all the lights on using incandescent bulbs, and shooting more to "expose animals to lead poisoning" and putting more lead into the earth...oh wait that might be more than minute of berm ;)
Get furniture from exotic hardwoods and endangered trees too that'll make the hippies sceam.
WV: bliaryou - apparently blogger thinks I'm "Americans want Healthcare" Pelosi.
I was shooting friday, at 25 yards I got agout 25% of them on the paper, not sure if that would be 'minute of the berm' or not.
Given that I was hitting a 6" steel plate at least a quarter of the time, I'd say it qualifies...
(good thinking on the light bulbs and extra lead... And hardwood!)
Just what were you going to do with that Aqua Net?
I've a nummy recipe for Baked Bald Eagle. Tastes just like California Condor.
Jay, I could make my beard *real* spiky...
Stretch, that's a great point - I haven't had a condor egg omelette in ages...
... and wipe your butt with only the softest of Spotted Owls.
Do the Drew Carrey with your oldschool Aquanet.
(from one of his standup bits)
"In Cleveland, we're on the patio in January spraying aerosol cans into the air yelling "SCREW THE OZONE I WANT HEAT NOW!"
WV- Is there some feature here that makes me type a fucking different jumbled word 20 times, or is it just me?
Dudes, Aqua-Net is awesome fuel for those PVC potato cannons.
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