...because right now, the thought of a motherf**king turkey getting it's head chopped off sounds pretty damn good...
Turkeys were meant to be a food animal. There's no question about it. Anything stupid enough to meander out into the damn road as a friggin' Harley roars by at about 45 MPH deserves to be eaten. I just came about two feet from having to have a 20-something pound turkey surgically removed from my sternum. Fortunately it just winged (literally) the engine guard and didn't appear to take - or leave - any damage.
Other than the fact that I now need to get to Home Depot to buy a pry bar long enough to get the motorcycle seat out of my ass after that puckering...
That is all.
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15 comments:
Glad you survived!
Riding my old Wing, I came around a turn on a back road to come upon a hawk trying to lift off with an entire dead woodchuck in claw. The best he could do was chest high... on ME. He let go and lifted just as I swerved, and we missed each other close enough I felt the touch of wing feathers.
WOOF!
Glad you're OK - other than RIGHT NOW, when is Turkey Season up there? (grin)
Glad you made it mostly unscathed!
I once had a close encounter with a seagull feasting on something on a bridge down in the Keys-
I was on my Intruder 1400 doing about 70... Jonathon Livingston took off in front of me, didn't make enough altitude...
He hit the top edge of the windscreen (CRACK!) then the front/top of my helmet about 2 inches above the face.
(%$#@*?ing OUCH!)
It felt like getting hit on top of the forehead with a baseball bat...
Had he not hit the 'screen it would have been a neck or full face hit, following up with me over the edge of the rail and into the drink, or into oncoming traffic.
Regardless- I treat buzzards, seagulls, and other roadside avian scavengers with a bit more caution whilst on two wheels.
Live and learn, or you won't live long.
TBG
I've had close calls with turkeys, and with a hawk in almost the exact same scenario as Carteach. 2 weeks ago riding up in NH it was a moose. 3 bikes (a buddy, me, and my wife bringing up the rear), and we're roaring up 16 heading to Mt Washington trying to get there before they closed for the day. Came around a bend in the 4 lane road and there's Bullwinkle. I think we scared him as much as he scared us, because he was off the road before we came to a stop. Hit the throttle again and damn if Bullwinkle didnt start running down the shoulder chasing after us!
yeek!
When's turkey season start?
Glad youre OK Jay!!
There was a bad crash in Hampstead over the weekend, Involving a drunk driver.... not good.
Jay,
I just smoked me about 10 turkey legs, using a 60/40 mix of hickory & apple chips. Mmmmmmm . . . smoked turkey legs.
Scott . . . I know there's a spring turkey season but there may also be one in the fall.
- Brad
I had a near miss from a full grown tom turkey once. Not on a bike, in my van.
I was doing about 50 mph, when the stupid thing flew out of the woods on the right at windshield height and crossed my path, I swear, closer to me than the front bumper. The thing looked like it was the size of a B-52.
So yeah, I'm with you, Jay.
And by the way - a couple of teaspoons of Castor oil, and a couple of hours later, that seat cushion will slide right out.
"Harley roars by at about 45 MPH"
Dude, I'm really glad you're ok, but srsly ..... you shouldn't let anyone tow you that fast!
ATGATT
And Packetman wins the internets!
I've had one of those bastards take out a grill on a F150 so you are one lucky SOB. After that kind of close shave, all I can offer up is a few great recipies for turkey.
Time for a change of drawers?
Wow, I'll bet that did make you pucker!
But, turkeys being stupid? Obviously you've never hunted the crafty sumbitches.
They redefine the word paranoid. Come turkey season, they'll make a big whitetail buck look about as smart as your averaged teenage boy, and the fuckers are so crafty you'd swear they could do long division.
Ben Franklin didn't want them recognized as our national bird for no reason.
+1 AmbulanceDriver
Jay, I'm gonna wager that you've never hunted the damned things...They are only stupid in the Spring (during mating season) and atthat its just the males that are stupid.
Proves that God has a sense of humor...mating season makes *any* male of the species stupid, not just turkeys.
Spring season, you can call them in to you even with the worst imitation of a hen...as long as you don't sound like pig, they'll come strutting.
Fall season? Yah, good luck. Turkeys have eyesight rivaling eagles and hawks...they can spot you a mile away, and won't come near you.
Glad you're OK...I've had many close calls on my scoot, and lord knows that you don't stop shaking for a few hours afterwards.
That woulda left a mark.
Took a Blackbird in the shoulder once at about 60 mph. That hurt and left a nice bruise!! Damn leather vest did me no good.
And once while running Code 3 on an Ambulance call we took two turkeys in the windshield of our rig. Now thats a story I may have to bolg about sometime!!
Ahh, turkeys. My own bad experience was running into a squall line, fumbling to turn the wipers on, and then seeing a flock of turkeys right in front of me. Somehow I squeezed a Buick Century between two hens...
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