Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I'm Confused...

Wasn't the world supposed to love us again if only we elected Barack Hussein Øbama?

United States can be victors if we lose the World Cup
I love the World Cup. And I love America — it’s my hometown! But I would not love to see America win the World Cup.

Frankly, we don’t need another feather in our already overstuffed cap. And considering soccer is the world’s game — and most of the world is at odds with America at any given moment — I think it might be a nice idea for Uncle Sam, in an effort to promote world harmony, to lie down in South Africa.
First off, hike up your skirt - your panties are showing, Sally. Secondly, you've been hitting too deep in the bong if you think the USA has a shot at winning the World Cup. And lastly, wasn't this precisely the sort of thing that the election of Øbama was supposed to reverse? Wasn't the world supposed to join hands and sing Kumbaya to the USA for being so enlightened as to elect the Teleprompter Jesus? Wasn't he supposed to "heal" the tarnished image of America left in peoples' minds around the world from Bushhitler McChimpy Cowboy?

And lastly, lose the "they all hate us because we're so pushy" crap. We're exporting our goods to these countries because they want them, not because us big ol' scawy Americans are forcing Adam Sandler movies on the poor wogs abroad. I mean, if there's ever a reason to hate America, Adam Sandler movies are right up near the top - but we don't force anyone to watch them... We might import your workers and export crappy movies, but it all revolves around capitalism, baby, not might making right...

In any case, go ahead and root for whoever the hell you want - just don't try to make me feel bad for cheering on Team USA.

That is all.

Link sent by PISSED, who apparently misses the rage-filled JayG...

4 comments:

Old NFO said...

O.M.G. And these people breed too... sigh... Maybe they need to go live somewhere else and 'enjoy' that country...

Lokidude said...

Is this raspberry douche actually suggesting that Team USA throw the Cup? Maybe it's just the asshole American in me, but the only victory that matters is the one you earn honestly. How would the rest of the world see us then, robbing another nation of the honor and glory of an honest win?

Losing, when you've given your all, carries no shame. Quitting, backing down from an honest contest, is cowardice.

Keith said...

Wait, there's an international soccer championship? And we're involved? Huh, learn something new every day.

Grown men play soccer?

Anonymous said...

this is exactly why I hate soccer. Its full of pussy assed fags that can't use their hands