PISSED asked what my morning schedule looked like so he could stop by and drop off some bumper stickers. I started to give a quick response, then decided to go literal. Here's my morning routine Monday through Friday:
5:00AM: Wake up cursing the alarm clock.
5:10AM: Stumble to the gym for workout.
6:15AM: Return home, collapse in a pool of sweat.
6:25AM: See Mrs. G. off to work.
6:30AM: Shower/shave/get dressed.
7:00AM: Walk into the children's rooms and announce that it is time to wake up.
7:05AM: Walk into the children's rooms again and announce that it is really time to wake up.
7:07AM: Walk into the children's rooms one more time with Mr. Whistle. Threaten to use Mr. Whistle.
7:10AM: Remind children that they need clothing.
7:12AM: Remind children than underwear is an essential part of clothing.
7:15AM: Prepare breakfast for children.
7:17AM: Get into massive argument over the unsuitability of chocolate bars as breakfast food.
7:20AM: Call BabyGirl G. down for breakfast.
7:25AM: Excuse TheBoy from table, send him to room to get away from his sister.
7:30AM: Exhort BabyGirl G. to stop staring out the window and eat her breakfast.
7:32AM: Remind BabyGirl G. that we have to leave in 15 minutes.
7:35AM: Exhort BabyGirl G. to stop staring out the window and eat her breakfast.
7:37AM: Give BabyGirl G. the 10 minute warning.
7:40AM: Call TheBoy down from his room.
7:42AM: Tell BabyGirl G. to finish her milk at least, give 5 minute warning.
7:45AM: Call TheBoy a second time.
7:47AM: Announce that IT IS TIME TO GO and that we have to leave RIGHT NOW.
7:49AM: Announce that IT IS TIME TO GO and that we have to leave RIGHT NOW.
7:50AM: Announce that WE ARE NOW LATE and that anyone not in the truck in 30 seconds will be eaten by monsters.
7:52AM: Load kids into truck. Drive to end of street to bus stop*
7:53AM: Scream at the kids to stop fighting.
7:54AM: Kick them both out of the truck, roll up windows, and enjoy silence.
7:55AM: Wave as they leave on their way to school. Revel in their unhappiness.
7:56AM: Drive to work.
*This is done for my convenience, not theirs - as soon as they get on the bus, I'm on my way to work.
It's just another day in paradise...
That is all.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Jay,
I recommend the purchase of a bag or two (dozen) of glass marbles.
Store them in the freezer and announce it's time to get up once.
Then open covers sufficiently to introduce said stored marbles to the bed.
Found this trick works extremely well, especially with pre-teens and teenagers. It also works great on those Scout Camp outs
Heh. A man after my own evil heart. I love it.
What really gets me, though, is that the VERY SAME children who I have to drag out of bed at 7:10 in the morning Monday through Friday are up, WIDE awake, and running through the house on Saturday and Sunday at 6:30AM...
Your schedule is almost identical to mine. About the only difference is that instead of Mr. Whistle I grab an arm and a leg and dump them on the floor. Good to know not much changes as they get older.
And here I thought the G-lets would have you busy in the morning. The biggest time-eater for scenic Cornerlot was the recovery time, as I struggled to believe that the Heiresses 'forgot,' each day and every day, that the bus would actually arrive, and then depart, with them or without them.
Massive mana loss with that.
Boy do I look forward to being a parent -- LOL
I'm not usually on munchkin wrangling duty in the mornings. On the occasions when my wife is travelling, my routing is:
05:30 Alarm goes off.
05:39 Alarm goes off again, and I get up.
05:40 to 06:00 Ablutionology
06:00 to 06:05 Enter childrens' rooms, collect clothes and preposition in the bathroom.
06:06 Announce to Miss Tacticute that it is wake-up time
06:06:30 Not observing positive movement, heft child and carry to bathroom
06:07 Place child on toilet, stripping as we go.
06:08 Dress child on toilet while still dazed and feet are conveniently dangling off the floor for sockage.
06:10 Prep toothbrush, exhort child to use it
06:12 Open yogurt downstairs for child's breakfast
06:13 Enter the Young Master's room and remove YM from bed.
06:14 Diaper changing and dressing while Miss Tacticute presumably eats her yogurt.
06:17 Brushing of YM's teeth.
06:21 Ritual of the Shoes, disposal of whatever yogurt is unconsumed, collection of jackets and backpacks
06:25 Into the car
06:30 Pull out of garage
06:40 Drop off YM at day care, where they have prepared his breakfast
06:40 to 06:59 Pep talk for Miss Tacticute
07:00 Arrive at www.aw.org
07:01 Miss Tacticute is escorted inside as the door automatically unlocks
07:05 Off to work
My wife starts at the same time, but she takes about an hour longer to achieve the same results, what with the negotiation and pleading and the temper tantrums. It works a lot better when you don't allow time for such things, and the kids know it.
You guys are nice. My dad would warm up a hot dog to about room temperature and stick it in my mouth if I overslept. And on Sundays. When I smelt the tube steak or heard the microwave, I was up.
You guys are nice. My dad would warm up a hot dog to about room temperature and stick it in my mouth if I overslept. And on Sundays. When I smelt the tube steak or heard the microwave, I was up.
BTDT, BURNED the damn t-shirt... :-)
Post a Comment