(CNN) -- The princess birthday cake for a 3-year-old girl was one of the few things left untouched after a brawl that police said involved 75 people at a hall in suburban Cincinnati, Ohio.
Some 150 people were at a party at the Fraternal Order of Eagles Hall in Elmwood Place when the fight started early Tuesday, CNN affiliate WCPO reported. Seven police jurisdictions were called in to quell the fighting.
There is just so much wrong packed into that opening two lines that I don't even know where to start. 150 people for a birthday party for a three year old? Seven police jurisdictions had to respond? 75 people took part in the brawl? Later on in the story we find out that beer bottles and folding chairs were involved, leaving us to assume some sort of affiliation with professional wrestling, I guess.
Folks, if you want to throw a party, throw a party. Call it the "we're getting drunk" party and drink yourself into a coma. But don't use the pretext of a pre-schooler's birthday to gather over a hundred friends and relations to drink beer all afternoon and rehash old slights and slings. This poor little girl is going to grow up thinking that SWAT teams in riot gear always respond to her birthday party - she's going to think it's part of the birthday cake...
I'm guessing they'll need to call out the National Guard for her wedding...
That is all.
4 comments:
Those Ohio people are a violent bunch.
It's the proximity to Chicago and Detroit I think...
Don't forget the great parenting exhibited by having 30 kids witnessing the 1 a.m. brawl.
Gee, in my circle of friends toddler birthday parties generally end around 7:30 at the latest.
I grew up in Cincy (well, the northwest environs, anyway). It's really not that close to Detroit or Chicago, but Covington and Newport, KY, across the river, had some pretty lively vice and corruption, back in the day.
Elmwood Place is one of those 'small-town-in-a-big-city neighborhoods. It's sort of an old blue-collar, redneck-ish enclave where just about everybody knows everybody else there. The speed limit is 25, and you'd better not be doing 27.
I avoid it almost as religiously as Cleves, further west on the Great Miami River.
And remember, Jerry Springer used to be the mayor of Cincinnati, back in the '70's.
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