After some 21 hours behind the wheel and some 1,300 miles added to the odometer of my truck, there are certain highway drivers that need to be called out for special recognition on this Friday Fun Thread. Here are my top ten least favorite people on the highway:
1. Pacing the car in the right lane in the passing lane. I don't think anyone makes me wish I had a grenade launcher more than this jerk. The passing lane - big surprise - is for passing. Pulling into the passing lane and then matching the person next to you is just a dick move.
2. Speeding up after I've passed you. Look, I've got my cruise control on. I've had it on for the past 50 miles or so. Getting all butthurt because I'm going faster than you - and I'm only exceeding the speed limit by 5 MPH - and cranking up your speed so I can't merge back in is dangerous and stupid.
3. Weaving in and out of traffic. See above comment about grenade launcher. These drivers infuriate me - especially because they don't gain anything except my undying enmity for cutting people off, making dangerous lane changes, and generally acting like extras on the set of "The Fast and the Foolish"...
4. Ignoring the "X Lane Closed" signs until your car nudges the barrel. Um, no. I will actually drive your car into the jersey barrier with my truck before I let you into traffic. The DOT puts up signs for like two miles informing you that the lane is closing. Ignoring them until the last second doesn't get you any sympathy with me.
5. Anyone that cuts off a tractor trailer. I have to admit to some bias here, as I've run into the same types of issues towing my camper. We're big. Unwieldy. Don't stop on a dime. Don't rip out onto the highway directly in front of us, because we have two options: 1. Go tearing off into the woods; or 2. Punt your car into a tree. I'll choose option 2 every damn time.
6. The idiots that SLAM on their brakes when there's a cop on the side of the road. Extra hate bonus points if a) The cop already has someone pulled over; b) You're going the speed limit already; or c) It's the opposite side of the highway.
7. Rubberneckers. Oh dear Lord. Is there anything worse than sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 20 minutes, creeping along at 10 MPH, only to discover that the reason for the slow down is a fender bender? On the other side of the damn highway?
8. People who can't secure loads. One of the most frightening experiences of my life came early one morning on the interstate. I came around a corner (at a rather high rate of speed, since it was like 5AM and I was alone on the highway) to find the cap to a pickup truck sitting in between two travel lanes.
9. Tailgaters. This one is such a staple that I figured it could be near the end. Look, if there's traffic as far as the eye can see, getting ~ 2 feet off my bumper isn't going to do you a damn bit of good. I understand that I am not traveling as fast as you would like. However, my speeding up would necessitate pushing a long line of cars out of the way first. All you're going to accomplish is making me emulate person #1 above...
10. People that throw trash out of the cars. Littering is a pretty jerkoff move to begin with, but add in on the highway at a high rate of speed and it's downright dangerous. That soda can that you just carelessly tossed out of your window could break my windshield at 75 MPH - or knock me clear off my motorcycle if I'm not careful. Keep a plastic bag in your car so I don't have to hunt you down later.
So there's my list of Top Ten highway jerks. I'm certain that I could have gone for another 10 easily, maybe 20, but figured we could save that for another time. I noticed most of these types on the drive out to and home from OH - personally, I blame NY just because...
What are your most hated types of inconsiderate highway drivers?
That is all.
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40 comments:
You know that I'm #3 and #9 because you're probably doing doing #1, right?
:)
-SayUncle
What are my most hated drivers?
Everybody but me.
My pet peeve on the highway - and it happened this morning - is the person who just has to be in the lane you are in so they insist on squeezing their monster SUV into a space that would fit a Smart Car. Which said space happens to be in front of my car. And they don't seem to understand that the presence of my car should preclude them from making this dumbass move - and keep on coming anyway.
I never do #1, Unc..
Veeshir,
Heh. Really, I don't mind folks who drive at or near the speed limit and stay the hell out of my way...
Kris,
Ooh, that's a good one. They almost force you to tailgate.
I'm going to semi-disagree with you on #4. One of my biggest annoyances is the folks who, when there's a lane closing, immediately move out of the lane-to-be-closed some miles ahead, causing a back-up of some miles in one lane, and a completely open one in the other, then pull half into the open lane to make sure no one else uses it. Now, if the traffic's moving, pull over earlier. But when it stops, you use both lanes, then merge together like a zipper at the closing point. Which is how it's generally done (with some truckers as exceptions) in VA. Even the signs say things like "use both lanes until merge."
Driving through PA to school, on the other hand, was a mess. Miles and miles of one lane stopped, with the other open, and there's my exit. A clear lane to get there, but no. I have to wait the better part of an hour because some jackass won't let me use the open lane.
Mine is the asshole who's usually texting while applying makeup in their SUV who tail gates you for 2 miles while you're in the Slow Lane, then, a half a mile from their exit, jumps into the fast lane, tailgates some other poor schmuck, THEN decides 100 feet from the exit to swerve back into the Slow/Exit lane right in front of me without using any turn signals whatsoever, causing ME to slam on the Brakes while they tear up the ramp at 90 mph.
These are the same assholes who come down the On ramp at 90 mph without looking at what's coming, then get pissed at you when they have to slam on the brakes because YOU didn't leave them room to merge. Never mind the fact that there is a line of 20 cars ahead of you, beside you and behind you.
The sad thing is, when these idiots earn their Darwin Awards, they usually take out some innocent driver with kids in the car.
That's why I don't have a motorcycle.
How about the shitbag who cuts you off in traffic, or executes a "Boston Left" (blocking oncoming traffic until the coast is clear for them to make a left-hand turn) and has the nerve to WAVE to you as they do it, as if you somehow condone their assbag driving by proxy!
In addition to those you have listed, I would have to add people who drive with high beams and/or fog lights on all the damn time. I live in the country now, so some of that is to be expected, but most people turn them off when flashed if they forgot to do so the minute they saw your oncoming headlights. But I used to live in Dallas and with the amount of street lamps and the general glow of artificial light at night, I could usually drive without my headlights on, much less high beams and fog lamps. People fog lamps are for two things, heavy rain and fog. Period. Keep them off.
When you pass someone on cruise control, then they speed up and pass you and then slow down again. I hate that. This lady in Mercedes SUV did that to me once till I got so angy at her that I just bumped it up to 85. She tried to pass me again but finally gave up. Keep in mind this was on a straight interstate at night where she was the only other car. There was no reason for it. I about blew a vein yelling at her.
Re: #8 Me watching a wheelbarrow bounce down the Interstate during rush hour beats your truck topper!
Got a couple more for ya:
People who...
- put on makeup: Sure, it's your car, but that's not a vanity mirror.
- pass on the right shoulder or around blind corners. Dick move no matter how you slice it.
- red-light runners: I'm not talking about the generally unaware people who just blow through red lights, though they scare me, too. I'm talking about the scumbags who pull up and stop first, then roll through the intersection. Why? Because they just don't feel like waiting for the light like the rest of us.
- read the paper: this one's getting rare, but it wasn't long ago that I used to regularly see people with full newspaper sections spread out over the steering wheel while driving -- complete with coffee and croissant.
- knit: Yeah, really. Knitting. Saw a woman in heavy evening traffic -- she was busily knitting. Two knitting needles, eyes focused intently on the yarn as she was cruising down the highway in the passing lane... until she hit the back of a truck.
What about the 18 wheelers that pull out to pass another 18 wheeler at about a 1/2 mile speed differential and proceed to take 5 minutes to pass.
I'm with you on all of them Jay except for #4. I've got to side with aughtSix on that. No reason to waste an entire lane of traffic and cause the backup to extend twice as far if you don't have to. Even the DOT agrees with that - they've started putting up signs saying "Use both lanes to merge point" and then, about fifty yards from the closed lane, they have a "Merge Here" sign
"These are the same assholes who come down the On ramp at 90 mph without looking at what's coming, then get pissed at you when they have to slam on the brakes because YOU didn't leave them room to merge. Never mind the fact that there is a line of 20 cars ahead of you, beside you and behind you."
Happened to me once, on my way to a funeral, wife 'n kids in the car, TT unit behind me. My wife turned white when the idiot got close enough that she could have reached out her window and touched his car. He then, of course, proceeded to flip me off. Car behind him on the ramp was a cruiser, lights went blue, I laughed.
With regards to number four, I agree with Jay. Our highways have been ripped to hell for two years now, and I have lost count of the number of people who have almost killed me by deciding to force me half off the highway while there are cars behind me rather than hit a plastic barrel that they should have merged to avoid in the first place. I've had several big rigs do it, too. Thank God I no longer drive to ManchVegas three days a week.
You forgot the moron that believes that the indicator is on a stalk next to the steering wheel so you can hit it AS you turn he wheel. Particularly irritating when I am waiting to pull out and you make the right indicating your intention as you turn.
I'm #1, and I freely admit it!
See....when the Tailgater decides that my doing 77 MPH and PASSING those folks in the right lane (at a healthy clip, I might add) is not fast enough, and he gets close enough that I can literally see only his windshield in my rearview, thats when all bets are off.
I have oodles of fun and will gleefully chuckle when I nail the brakes HARD, see the *OH SHIT* look on his face as he nails HIS brakes, then decides that I'm a crazy enough f*cker to cause him to hit ME, at which point he drops back 4 or 5 car lengths, and we both maintain 77 MPH in a 65, and pass the folks in the right lane steadily.
And no, I won't move over for him, because 99 times out of 100, I *CAN'T* move because the right lane is packed pretty tightly and is maintaining 68 - 71 MPH.
And if he hits me? Heh...Anime Eyes at the investigating officer, along with "Sorry Sir, but a (insert name of cute cuddly creature here...squirrel works very well, but so does cat, dog, etc...) darted across from the center median right out of that tall unmowed grass, and I just reacted because I didn't want to hurt the poor thing..."
WV: mingo....that would be a great name for a cute cuddly cat, dog, etc....
Agree with you on all counts, Jay, and especially with Armed Texan about the idiots with hi-beams. I hate driving at night around here because half the morons don't turn their hi-beams off when they see me coming. My night vision sucks as it is, and these dummkopfs only make it worse.
Honestly, this list reminds me of why I want a Hummer. Not the wussified civilian version, but a mil-spec HUMVEE with a .50 cal on the roof. No one would be stupid enough to tailgate me with that thing!
You forgot the ass-dribble that can't find the gas pedal with both feet, a map, and a "Best of Riverdance" instructional dvd, doing 10-15-20 under the limit on a dry straight road in a modern car with no load.
Or is that just a Los Alamos thing?
The only one on that list that makes me want to murder people is #9.
I drive 5 miles over the limit. Could I get away with 10? Maybe, but I cannot afford the ticket.
I live in a rural area and on a road with TWO MILE LONG straightaways with ZERO oncoming traffic I will get some idiot one foot off my bumper. And they WILL. NOT. PASS.
At this point in my life I usually just say 'screw it' hit the brakes and the gravel and make them go around me.
Usually. But for no particular reason I will mention that my bumper and trailer hitch are rock solid and I keep the brakes in tip-top condition.
"I have oodles of fun and will gleefully chuckle when I nail the brakes HARD, see the *OH SHIT* look on his face as he nails HIS brakes, then decides that I'm a crazy enough f*cker to cause him to hit ME, at which point he drops back 4 or 5 car lengths, and we both maintain 77 MPH in a 65, and pass the folks in the right lane steadily."
So, you admit to trying to kill someone on the internet? Smart.
"So, you admit to trying to kill someone on the internet? Smart."
Stop and think about this - Tailgaters endanger themselves, the person they are tailgating and anything in front of that person - FOR ZERO BENEFIT.
If you maintain a constant five car lengths off my bumper you are going the same speed as I am. If you stick 1" off my bumper you are STILL going the same speed as I am. The difference is you now have shortened your reaction time to zero and anything that happens to me will happen to you as well.
Back the hell off or pass.
"Tailgaters endanger themselves, the person they are tailgating and anything in front of that person - FOR ZERO BENEFIT."
Yeah, she was asking to get raped too.
Cute critter....road...right in front of me...
People who do not understand the concept of an "acceleration lane" drive me up a wall.
Total lack of situational awareness.
If you're in the left lane and there are no cars in front of you and 5 behind you.....then you're the one that's holding things up. Move over and let the traffic through.
If you can't tell me what's behind you or beside you without looking then you haven't been paying attention either.
..... and BTW, why is it that whenever I see some young couple in a car, shes always driving him in her car. Don't young guys buy cars anymore????
For me it is the people who think that the breaks are a substitute for a turn signal.
I would respectfully like to submit another entry to the list: people who think lanes are optional.
I kid you not, twice today in the space of five minutes, I was almost sideswiped by idiots who thought the double-yellow line meant "drive directly over this" instead of "do not pass."
Here in Ohio, the number one and two accidents that get cited are "Failure to Yield" and "Failure to Maintain a Safe Distance". "Failure to Yield" means coming down the ramp and expecting traffic to get out your way because you're Special and in a hurry. "Failure to Maintain a Safe Distance" mean exactly what is says, and if you Tailgate and the guy ahead of you hits the brakes, Too Fucking Bad. And the guy you hit's Insurance Company is NOT responsible for You, Your car, nor Your Medical Expenses. The Tailgater IS Responsible for the Other Guy's Car and any Medical Expenses. There have even been a few cases where the Tailgater has been sentenced and convicted of Vehicular Manslaughter.
So Anon 2: 33/2:50, in Ohio, Back Off. It's the Highway, not Daytona. Unless you are trying to earn a Darwin Award, then let me know. I could use a New Truck paid for by your Insurance company.
Had a refrigerator get dropped off a trailer in front of me, driving on I-95 in heavy traffic.
I really really really hate that Semis can litter the road with huge pieces of retread tires, and not get a fine for it.
Semi tailgating me at 70MPH. Friend in passenger seat unbuckles, turns in the seat and pokes up out of the sunroof, proceeds to videotape semi with handicam. Semi slammed his brakes on so hard he locked up his wheels.
People who do not understand the difference between merge, yield and stop. Of whom there are a vast number in my area of the country.
Saw a very courteous Q-Tip the other day in the right lane of a very busy freeway stop, completely stop, to allow someone to merge in front of her. Even though there was lots of room behind her, since everyone was passing her due to the fact that she was driving 15mph below the speed limit.
Ah yes, my favorite subject - always good for a few laughs. I drive a lot in my work - I am a field service engineer - and I have encountered all of these people numerous times. In fact, I have given them names. Here are a few:
Granny Grunt:
This is the person who - as you described - goes 10 to 15 miles below the speed limit, holding up traffic for miles. Granny is also the one who, on the interstate, will pull out from behind the slow moving truck, right into the fast moving traffic in the left lane, get right up even with the truck's driving wheels, and then panic. We then have a slow moving rolling roadblock that irritates everyone - including the trucker. And just so you know, granny is not necessarily a woman - or even old.
Harry High School:
This is the teenager or twenty-something in the souped-up junk mobile that just has to go faster than everyone else on the road. (Out here where I live, it's almost always a high-rise pickup truck.) If he can't pass you, then he has his front wheels in your trunk. On the interstate, he's #3. But anywhere he goes, he's a hazard. You've seen him. He's almost always male, has tattoos on both arms, and wears a baseball cap backwards. This is the guy who gains his Darwin award by handing his beer to his passenger while saying "watch this! I can make this curve doing 70!"
The Rock in the Creek:
You see this one mostly on urban, multilane interstates, during heavy traffic. The rock is usually some goof in the middle lane, usually on a cell phone, who is going, literally, 30 to 35 mph *slower* than the rest of traffic, this causes a very hazardous situation when everyone from motorcycles to semi trucks have to maneuver in traffic to get around them.
Terry & Tony Trucker:
Yeah, these are the guys who obviously own the highway, because they think nothing of blocking the entire interstate for 15 to 20 miles as Terry passes Tony going 56.3 mph while Tony is doing 56.25 mph. And neither one will give an inch while pissed off traffic stacks up behind them.
The Oblivions:
These are the drivers who are completely oblivious to anything going on around them. Most of the time - but not always - it is because they have their cell phone stuck in their ear while yakking away about who knows what. They are also the same ones who will happily block 2 lanes of traffic as they try and make that left turn from the far right lane because they weren't paying attention when they arrived at their intersection.
The bicycle snob:
Everybody hates bicyclists - except another bicyclist that is. Their mantra is "Share the road, share the road!" But *they* are the real road-hogs. Cyclists are always complaining that: "We're a vehicle that has the same rights to the road as motorists." But how many times have you observed a cyclist completely ignoring the rules of the road. I've lost count of the number of these spandex geeks I've watched run stop signs, ignore yield signs, and weave in and out of stopped traffic. And they are a special hazard out on the rural highway. The area I live in is scenic, and is therefore popular for cycle rally's. If you think it's tough to pass one or two bicyclists on a winding two lane country road, try passing 50 of them all strung out for a mile or more. As often as not, you and all the rest of the traffic is stuck going only as fast as the slowest cyclist as they sweat their way up the switchback at *2* mph.
Captain Kirk:
We've all encountered the captain at one time or another. He's the guy that doesn't seem to understand that you cannot get on the interstate on impulse power alone. You must go to at least warp two. So when the dear captain comes to the end of the on ramp and is going 30mph *slower* than the traffic he needs to merge into, (an on ramp that is long enough to get a 737 airborne off of, I might add), he is mystified why nobody wants to let him in.
I can keep going, but this comment is too long as it is.
Ah yes, my favorite subject - always good for a few laughs. I drive a lot in my work - I am a field service engineer - and I have encountered all of these people numerous times. In fact, I have given them names. Here are a few:
Granny Grunt:
This is the person who - as you described - goes 10 to 15 miles below the speed limit, holding up traffic for miles. Granny is also the one who, on the interstate, will pull out from behind the slow moving truck, right into the fast moving traffic in the left lane, get right up even with the truck's driving wheels - and then panic. We then have a slow moving rolling roadblock that irritates everyone - including the trucker.
And just so you know, granny is not necessarily a woman - or even old.
Harry High School:
This is the teenager or twenty-something in the souped-up junk-mobile that just has to go faster than anybody else on the road. (Out here where I live, he's almost always in a high-rise pickup truck.) If he can't pass you, then he has his front wheels in your trunk. On the interstate, he's #3 or #9, sometimes both. But everywhere he goes, he's a hazard.
The Rock in the Creek:
You see this one mostly on urban, multilane interstates during heavy traffic. The rock is usually some goof in the middle lane, usually on a cell phone, who is going, literally, 30 to 35 mph *slower* than the rest of traffic. This causes everyone from motorcyclists to semi trucks to have to maneuver in traffic to get around them.
Terry & Tony Trucker:
Yeah, these are the guys who obviously own the highway, because they think nothing of blocking the entire interstate for 5 to 10 miles as Terry passes Tony going 56.3 mph while Tony is doing 56.25 mph - in a 70 zone. And neither one will give an inch all while pissed off traffic stacks up behind them for 5 miles.
The Oblivions:
These are the drivers who are completely oblivious to anything going on around them. Most of the time - but not always - it's because they have their cell phone stuck in their ear while yakking away about who knows what. They are also the same ones who will happily block 2 lanes of traffic as they try and make that left turn from the far right lane because they weren't paying attention when they arrived at their intersection.
The Bicycle Snob:
Everybody hates bicyclists - except another bicyclist. Their mantra is "Share the road!" But anyone who has had to drive around them knows that *they* are the real road-hogs. Cyclists are always complaining: "We're a vehicle that has the same rights to the road as motorists." And that might be true. But rights come with responsibilities. And how many times have you observed cyclists completely ignoring the rules of the road. I've lost count of the number of times I've watched these spandex geeks run stop signs, ignore yield signs, and weave in and out of stopped or slow moving traffic. And they are a special hazard out on the rural highway. The area I live in is scenic, and is therefore popular for bicycle rally's. If you think it's tough to pass one or two bicyclists on a winding two lane country road, try passing 50 of them all strung out for a mile or more. As often as not, you and all the rest of the motorists are stuck going only as fast as the slowest cyclists while they sweat their way up the switchback at *2* mph.
I can keep going, but this comment is too long as it is.
Geeze, I'm sorry about the double post.
The first time I posted, I got an error that said it was too long. Okay, I admit it, I'm a windbag. But i didn't think it went through, so I truncated it a bit and it posted with no errors the second time.
Oh well. It shows you how much I know.
got to disagree with you on number 4, depending on where you learned to drive it could be the law to stay in that lane until the merge point. I know its the law here in Germany, and that was what i was taught in Washington state.
You missd one.
The "Polite" driver.
POLITENESS KILLS...if YOU have the right-of-way, TAKE IT. It is yours for a reason. The rules of the road were designed to keep people alive. (or at least keep accidents to a minimum)
You may beleive that you are improving your karmic balance or showing what a generous person you are by cheerfully waving at me to go ahead and break the rules of the road just this once, because it's OK as long as you say it is.
WRONG - I have infinite patience and I will wait until the cows come home...or until you realize that a cheerful wave does not equal the legal right-of-way and move your vehicle accordingly.
What happens after you change your mind and T-bone me? "Yeah, but officer, he/she WAVED at me, so it's OK...right?"
The SOB that accelerates when I turn on my signal. Bastard. and all those you mentioned.
K said it already: People who don't understand the concepts of merge and yield.
My pet peeve by far is the driver on the highway who sees me coming down the on-ramp, and then strategically places themselves in my blind spot and matches my speed. They won't just keep going so that I can merge behind them, and they won't allow me enough room to pull in front of them safely.
Another one that bears mention:
The guy who paces your speed... in your blind spot.
I do not understand the tendency people have for this. They'll creep up on you at a slightly faster speed than you, and then stop the progression in your blind spot and pace you.
I've found this is more frequent with cell phone talkers, so it may be a subconscious thing. It's annoying as hell, nonetheless.
How about the idiots in Burlington, VT that think that because I've stopped at the intersection with "all way" stop signs, THEY don't have to? I've had as many as 3 people blow through their stop sign after I stopped for mine.
Or the idiots in CT that think that because a lane is wide enough for two cars side by side, the road must be multilane, and the lack of lane markers is just an oversight. I'm not talking about sliding by my right to turn right on red at a stop light (which I don't object to, as long as there is room), I've been passed on a single lane road multiple times by idiots who were in the same lane as I was.
Or the related ones in MI that think that because the u-turn lanes that form a MI left turn (if you don't know what a MI left turn is, count yourself lucky) are double wide (which they are so semi trucks can make the turn), it's OK to pass you in your lane while you're turning left (again, no lane markers means there is only one lane).
Or the idiots in Binghamton, NY that think the signs that read that the outer lane in the traffic circle must exit at the next road don't apply to them.
Weaving in and out of traffic
I only do that playing Pole Position Remix on the iPod, dude... ;-)
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