Ozzy Osbourne crashes new Ferrari
Rocker Ozzy Osbourne has been scared off the idea of getting behind the wheel again after accidentally crashing his Ferrari into the back of another car on Monday.
The singer only recently passed his driving test and immediately headed to a car dealership to purchase the luxury sports vehicle but he was left with a bruised ego this week after becoming involved in a minor collision while out and about in Los Angeles.
Turns out he rear-ended a lawyer in a Mercedes who appeared to not even know who Ozzy was... Now, I'm thinking to myself, imagine being that dude. You're in your car, sitting at a traffic light, when [WHAM] someone piles into you. You're annoyed because you know what this means - police reports, rental cars, etc. (from the sounds of all reports, the damage was minor and there was no personal injury). You look at the car that hit you and it's a Ferrari - not all that uncommon in LA - when all of a sudden Ozzy freaking Osbourne gets out of the driver's seat...
The only way it could get more surreal would be if Ozzy's trunk monkey popped out with a bat...
That is all.
7 comments:
After watching him shuffle and stumble who in their right mind would give that mak a license. Much less allow him behind the wheel of anything that goes faster than a golf cart.
"Turns out he rear-ended a lawyer in a Mercedes"
Now the lawyer will rear-end him.
I think I'd like to HAVE Ozzy as a trunk monkey. He wouldn't even need the bat...
"The only way it could get more surreal would be if Ozzy's trunk monkey popped out with a bat..."
... and bit its head off.
Come on, someone had to go there.
And for those of you with new drivers in the family, please, remember that a Ferrari is probably not a good first car. Stick to something a bit more manageable, like an Aston-Martin, or even something as pedestrian as a Corvette.
So which Ferrari was it. God forbid it was a 458 Italia
ZerCool, your internets is in the mail.
I wonder what went through that poor lawyer's mind when Ozzy got out of the car? I mean, Ozzy stone cold sober comes across as being so high he looks down on the ISS.
Far too funy would be if he rear-ended Keith Richards. Would've been too much like the Bob Dylan/Boomhauer skit from King of the Hill. They could mumble their way to traffic court & mechanic shop.
Funny how some musicians are perfectly understandable when they sing, but can't make an intelligible sentence with daily speech. Maybe a particular type of speech impeidment, a la a fire chief I knew who had a terrible stutter - but not on the radio. On the radio his voice was the epitome of command & control.
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