Notes from the Road...

• To the hipster in the Honda Element with the Obama 2012 sticker: Cutting off a 3 ton pickup, no matter how much its carbon footprint offends you, is not a viable long-term strategy. Eventually someone is going to introduce you and your micro-ute to the cold, harsh laws of physics, whereby a 1 ton object gets demolished by a 3 ton object. Pulling out in front of me (when there's no one behind me, mind you) so quickly that I feel the antilock brakes engage is not the way to convert people to your cause. Just in your honor, I'm going to run the truck out in the driveway for a half-hour tonight. Up yours, Gaia!
• To the Lance Armstrong wanna-be who insisted that "bikes are traffic": No, you're not, especially when you ignore stop signs, painted lines, and pedestrians. Had you actually passed the school bus with its lights on, I would have bounced my towing mirror off your multi-colored helmet. You looked like you had every intention of doing so, which would have put you right through a crowd of elementary school children, until the nice person in the Camry drove her car just about onto the sidewalk to block you. You can't have it both ways: you can't ride your $2K bike down the center of the road because you are traffic and then scoot over the double yellow line to go around the line of cars waiting at the stop sign only to ride right through the four way without even breaking stride. See above note about learning physics, only you won't even scratch someone's paint.
• To the imbeciles that will stop and let someone into traffic even though there's nothing behind them: Seriously, grow a brain. If there's nothing but air behind your car, it takes longer for you to come to a stop and wave the person out than it does to just keep going and let them turn in your wake. I know you think you're being a good person and all, but you're just contributing to the general gridlock with your idiocy. If there's a line of cars behind you, sure thing. If not, just go.
• To folks that don't stop for pedestrians in a crosswalk: Bad, bad juju headed your way. I know sometimes it's tough - I've stopped plenty of times for someone carrying on a cell phone conversation on the edge of the sidewalk - but make the effort. Reward the folks that take the time to walk the extra ten feet down the sidewalk and use the crosswalk - especially if they have kids with them, because they're teaching the kids the right thing to do. The converse is also true: If you are a pedestrian and you can't be bothered to walk the extra 10-15 feet to the crosswalk, don't expect me to stop for you.
• Lastly, to the jackass who gave me the finger for honking at him: If you hadn't sat at the green light for five whole seconds without giving any indication you were going to tear yourself away from texting, I wouldn't have honked. Pay attention to your surroundings and there won't be any need for people to honk because you're sitting at a green light breathing through your mouth. Maybe it made you feel extra special about yourself to drive really slowly to "teach that guy a lesson", but you wouldn't have to be in the position of handing out "lessons" if you paid f**king attention. Moron.

And just think! In another month or so we'll be adding snow to this mix! Yay!

That is all.