For Retailers, Today Really Is the Shittiest Day of the Year
You've heard of Black Friday, the darkest day for American capitalism; Cyber Monday, where everyone gets out their latent shopping aggression online; now there's even Grey Thursday, as retailers open on Thanksgiving Eve to get an edge on the competition. But, friends, have you heard of Brown Friday?Yes, it is exactly what you think it is. All those "Black Friday" shoppers, the ones that have stayed out in front of a store all night hoping for a great deal? Well, they don't have porta potties in their $40 WalMart tents. Once those doors open, it's every person for themselves - whether that means getting the loss-leader super sale item or getting to the bathroom before nature takes its course.
I worked in a supermarket through high school and college. While working there, I managed to work in pretty much every department - including maintenance. I cleared more than my share of, ahem, blocked toilets, and let me tell you something, no matter what story you read in the comments to that article, I guarantee you that not only is the story true, but somewhere someone has a story that can top it. The one unifying thread is that people prove, time and time again, to be little more than hairless apes.
Although, sometimes, I think that's too insulting... to the apes.
That is all.
4 comments:
Yet ANOTHER reason NOT to shop on those days...
Yep. Worked in retail for over five years during college/grad school, and...yeah. Sadly, I can probably top at least a few of those stories. There was, for example, the day I found myself unclogging a urinal in the men's room because some jackass had decided to take a dump in it. Or the mom who didn't see a problem with her obviously-not-terribly-well-potty-trained kid wandering around my department with poo nuggets falling out of his pant legs. Or the teenagers (who I still maintain I should have been able to tell the off-duty cop we hired as security to shoot, but I digress) who found it the height of humor to use their own feces to write profane comments all over the restroom walls--and did I mention that housekeeping did not consider cleaning that up to be part of their job? Etc. As I always used to say: working retail wouldn't be bad at all...if only we didn't have customers!
Dear Lord, thank you for getting me out of retail...*shudder*
My Reputation preceeeds me I guess!
Thanks for the LOL, Jay!
Ewww, that's awful.
It's practically unheard of here in Sweden... but as someone who's worked at a public bath, poop in the pool, showers and dressing rooms has occured... (but from kids, not adults).
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