I started losing my hair my senior year of college. I was all of 20. By the time I was 25, I was completely bald on the top of my head. As was my father, and his father, etc. That bit they try to foist on you about it being on your mother's side? Bullshit. My mother's father passed away in his 60s with a full head of hair. Mom has two brothers; one is balding at 60+, the other has a full head of hair in his mid- to late- 50s.
As evidenced by the plethora of "hair growth" spams, infomercials, etc., there's a lot of bald guys out there who would like to have hair back. I'm one of them. I have dreams, even now, where I wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and discover that I have my hair back. Waking up from those dreams is a harsh reality slap.
Popular culture doesn't help any. Let's name all of the bald leading men:
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.
uh, Patrick Stewart?
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Vin Diesel?
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???
Seriously, can anyone name an A-list actor who's bald? Not shaved, especially for a part, but honestly bald?
Not only that, but how are bald men portrayed in movies and TV? Not well - they're either ineffective, wishy-washy pansies like George Costanza or psychotic madman a la Clarence Boddiker (played by Kurtwood Smith, who would later go on to play "Red" Foreman in "That 70s Show", yet another less-than-stellar bald guy)... Not a lot of romantic comedies out there starring Stanley Tucci, are there? And don't even get me started on Lex Luthor...
But why? Why are bald men assumed to be either dangerous psychos or namby-pamby losers? There's a scene in the episode "Simpson and Delilah" where Homer grows hair (thanks to "Dimoxinil") where Homer is noticed by Mr. Burns*:
Burns: [indicating the security monitor] Wait, who's that young go-getter?
Smithers: Well, it sort of looks like [chuckle] Homer Simpson, only more dynamic and resourceful.
*(And yes, Mr. Burns is the archetypal "bald baddie" made famous by Lionel Barrymore as Henry Potter, and more recently by Dick Cheney *g*).
I wish I could get over something as petty and simple as being bald. I wish I wasn't hung up on how society thinks I should or shouldn't look. But it's tough. It's engrained young - when I pick my kids up from daycare, inevitably one of the other kids will point to me and say "Joey's Daddy, you're bald!" I make a joke of it, grabbing my head in mock shock and claiming that all of my hair just recently fell out and would they help me look for it?, but it's still there.
That nagging feeling that says, you'd only be complete if you had a full head of hair...
10 comments:
Uhhhh, Bruce Willis? He only shaves to hide the large expanse of chrome up top.
And look who he's dating:
http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=2290
Nuff said.
I thought of Bruce, except that he has "help" in most of his movies.
Ergo, he still needs the hair...
My hair started falling out in my twenties; have been bald on top most of my life, so the past few years I started just shaving off the rest rather than mess with it. The only problem I can see is that hats are necessary when it is cold, and for protection against sunburn. Otherwise I don't really give a damn about the hair.
This is me a couple of years ago. I have just a bit of stubble around the top.
Bald actors, you ask? While he's not around any longer, consider Yul Brenner. Naturally bald & and winner of both an Oscar & a Tony.
Off the cuff, I can only think of Howie Mandel (yeah, yeah, not a leading man). But Howie certainly looks better bald on "Deal or No Deal" than with his former crazy haircut.
I'll take Yul Brenner over Dick Clarke any day.
Mike
There is one consolation, though. When my friends are hitting their 40s and just starting to lose their hair, I'll have been 20 years without. No midlife crisis on that one!
Seriously, it doesn't bother me all that much. I just like bitchin'... :)
The more hair you lose, the more head you get.
Think about it.
Best advice I ever got when my hair started thinning was to cut it shorter. Now my wife buzzes it with a Norelco. The first time I cut it really short a couple of friends asked if I was using Rogaine because they thought I had grown new hair. A short cut's the only way to fly.
Adam,
I'd laugh, but I'm married. :)
Les,
Y'know, I've been doing this gun thing too long. I looked at what you wrote and read it as "my wife buzzes it with a Norinco" and was about to inquire about powder burns... :)
I used to shave my head completely every other day, but now that I'm clean-shaven, it's too much time and work, so once a week it gets the Bic treatment. I've had a shaved head for 3 years now, and if I can't have a full head of hair, this is what it's gonna look like...
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