My buddy doubletrouble posted a story about fucking with an asshole on the road in response to my rant about tailgaters, so consider this my volley back over the net...
It was mid-winter, sometime in the early 1990s. At the time, I was driving a mid-1980s VW GTI with four completely different tires - two quasi performance, one M&S, and one bald POS that really had no business being on the road. I'm coming home from work one night in a blinding snowstorm, and taking it easy.
Now, you have to understand something - at the time, "taking it easy" meant that I was only going 5-10 MPH over the speed limit in spite of the poor weather conditions and even poorer traction...
Well, I've got a minivan who is RIDING MY ASS. He's literally one or two feet off my bumper. I am seriously pissed off, when he goes to pass me. Mind you, we're on a two lane blacktop with double yellows.
There is no fucking way on G-d's Green Earth I was going to let my "little GTI" get passed by a g-ddamned Caravan, so I downshift and nail it. We're side-by-side, with shit-for brains on the wrong side of the road, and there's no way his kidmobile can keep up. He drops back in behind me, flashing his lights and honking his horn.
Sure enough, the road opens up again, and he goes around me. Again. I drop a gear and nail it. Again. I'm winding my way through the gears, matching his speed, keeping him on the wrong side of the road, when it dawns on me that I'm going double the speed limit in a snowstorm in a light little car. Common sense gets the better of me, and I pull WAY over, slow way down, and let him by.
He decides he's going to teach me a lesson, so he SLAMS on his brakes.
Did I mention it was snowing like a bastard?
The van slides about 270º clockwise, then abruptly spins around 360º and SLAMS into the curb on the side of the road. Both rear tires blow out. Now, since I had slowed WAY down to let him pass me, I roll by at 5-10 MPH and just flip him the bird with both hands.
Because, as I've mentioned, I'm an asshole...
That is all.
Happy New Year!
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5 comments:
Gostei muito desse post e seu blog é muito interessante, vou passar por aqui sempre =) Depois dá uma passada lá no meu site, que é sobre o CresceNet, espero que goste. O endereço dele é http://www.provedorcrescenet.com . Um abraço.
If you did that move while playing 'Burnout', you would have been awarded a 'Psych-out' takedown.
:)
Man. I was all ready to give you a hard time about making a bad situation worse and then I read the part about him hitting the curb. I wish I could have seen his face....
Made me laugh!!!! Thanks.
Well you know me I drive slow all the time. Earlier today, (yesterday as it's after midnight now) I was in my dakota, the one with a 318 and a rebuilt tranny for towing. And I'm doing my normal 5 under when a doink in a Prius gets on my tail and is flashing the highbeams at me and honking, me being me I slow down to 10 under. highbeams came on and stayed on and he layed on the horn. I slow to 15 under, he's now so close I can't even see his hood in my rearview mirror. just him yelling and flipping me the bird. I slow to 20 under. He makes as if to passs me and pulls out right in front of a Deputy sheriff who almost takes his front end off. the deputy has good skills behind the wheel, and avoids the idiot, burns a 180 and hits the lights. I pull over, the idiot in the prius pulls over gets out and walks towards me in the dakota, screaming and cussing a blue streak. The next thing I see is the prius driver on the ground in handcuffs and the deputy sitting on him as he's fighting with him. I just sat in my dakota with my hazrds on and wiat for the deputy to come up. He doesn't, a local PD officer does and asks me the usual questions and I explain what happened. The prius driver goes to jail for UUI, (they found a joint in his ashtray and he reeked of it) and they impounded his car. Me, the deputy and the PD officer laughed because they know my truck and that I ALWAYS go about 5 under the limit, they said next time call on my cell so they could get out quicker. :)
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