Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Wanna Feel Old?

This may not be as much of a shock to the younger bloggers out there (zeeke42, lissa, I'm thinking of yoooouuuuu), but to the rest of us old farts, it's time to feel old.

Beloit College has released its Mindset List for the Class of 2012 (students entering college next month).

Because I want to share the old with you, here's the list in its entirety:

  • Students entering college for the first time this fall were generally born in 1990.
  • For these students, Sammy Davis Jr., Jim Henson, Ryan White, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Freddy Krueger have always been dead.
  • Harry Potter could be a classmate, playing on their Quidditch team.
  • Since they were in diapers, karaoke machines have been annoying people at parties.
  • They have always been looking for Carmen Sandiego.
  • GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.
  • Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.
  • Shampoo and conditioner have always been available in the same bottle.
  • Gas stations have never fixed flats, but most serve cappuccino.
  • Their parents may have dropped them in shock when they heard George Bush announce “tax revenue increases.”
  • Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.
  • Girls in head scarves have always been part of the school fashion scene.
  • All have had a relative--or known about a friend's relative--who died comfortably at home with Hospice.
  • As a precursor to “whatever,” they have recognized that some people “just don’t get it.”
  • Universal Studios has always offered an alternative to Mickey in Orlando.
  • Grandma has always had wheels on her walker.
  • Martha Stewart Living has always been setting the style.
  • Haagen-Dazs ice cream has always come in quarts.
  • Club Med resorts have always been places to take the whole family.
  • WWW has never stood for World Wide Wrestling.
  • Films have never been X rated, only NC-17.
  • The Warsaw Pact is as hazy for them as the League of Nations was for their parents.
  • Students have always been "Rocking the Vote.”
  • Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.
  • Schools have always been concerned about multiculturalism.
  • We have always known that “All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten.”
  • There have always been gay rabbis.
  • Wayne Newton has never had a mustache.
  • College grads have always been able to Teach for America.
  • IBM has never made typewriters.
  • Roseanne Barr has never been invited to sing the National Anthem again.
  • McDonald’s and Burger King have always used vegetable oil for cooking french fries.
  • They have never been able to color a tree using a raw umber Crayola.
  • There has always been Pearl Jam.
  • The Tonight Show has always been hosted by Jay Leno and started at 11:35 EST.
  • Pee-Wee has never been in his playhouse during the day.
  • They never tasted Benefit Cereal with psyllium.
  • They may have been given a Nintendo Game Boy to play with in the crib.
  • Authorities have always been building a wall across the Mexican border.
  • Lenin’s name has never been on a major city in Russia.
  • Employers have always been able to do credit checks on employees.
  • Balsamic vinegar has always been available in the U.S.
  • Macaulay Culkin has always been Home Alone.
  • Their parents may have watched The American Gladiators on TV the day they were born.
  • Personal privacy has always been threatened.
  • Caller ID has always been available on phones.
  • Living wills have always been asked for at hospital check-ins.
  • The Green Bay Packers (almost) always had the same starting quarterback.
  • They never heard an attendant ask “Want me to check under the hood?”
  • Iced tea has always come in cans and bottles.
  • Soft drink refills have always been free.
  • They have never known life without Seinfeld references from a show about “nothing.”
  • Windows 3.0 operating system made IBM PCs user-friendly the year they were born.
  • Muscovites have always been able to buy Big Macs.
  • The Royal New Zealand Navy has never been permitted a daily ration of rum.
  • The Hubble Space Telescope has always been eavesdropping on the heavens.
  • 98.6 F or otherwise has always been confirmed in the ear.
  • Michael Millken has always been a philanthropist promoting prostate cancer research.
  • Off-shore oil drilling in the United States has always been prohibited.
  • Radio stations have never been required to present both sides of public issues.
  • There have always been charter schools.
  • Students always had Goosebumps.
Feel old now? Good. I need my Geritol and my cane...

That is all.

7 comments:

doubletrouble said...

Old?
My crinkly antique arse...
You don't know old, why, when I was a boy, old folks didn't even have walkers! We just dragged them around on a rope! And they liked it!
...

AND, IBM made rifles...

Jay G said...

Heh.

IBM also made typewriters that could serve as wheel chocks. For 747s.

Lissa said...

Oh dear.

For a good portion of it -- guilty as charged.

Although, really, how is "Roseanne Barr has never been invited to sing the National Anthem again" a BAD mindset to have?? You're just jealous!

JD said...

I still want to known what idiot pick Roseanne Barr to sing the first time??

BobG said...

Hell, how many of your readers ever used a church key at a drive-in?

zeeke42 said...

I'm mixed on that list. Some of it has me thinking 'yeah, duh', and some of it 'these damn kids these days'.

My aunt had an IBM Selectric, and I loved watching the golf ball go round. I'm now the proud owner of an IBM rifle. It was made more than 10 years before my PARENTS were born.

dr mac said...

Don't know what a vinyl record is....never went hunting with a .22 when they were 12yrs old....never played baseball untill the sun went down unless under parental supervision.

Ah, times have changed.