- It might come from a loved one, perhaps even the Mrs.
- It might come from a friend, acquaintance, or co-worker.
- It might even come from a complete stranger.
What question do I mean? The inevitable question one receives when it becomes known that one is a 2A supporter / proponent of CCW:
"Are you carrying a gun right now?"
There are many possible answers to this question, and I've probably given most of them depending on circumstances. When it's the Mrs. (who at the time was not yet the Mrs.), it was generally answered with "Why don't you frisk me and find out?" (Note: Guys, while we might think this is hilariously funny and witty, I have yet to hear of any single instance of it working. You're welcome for the tip).
Harder still are the questions from the kids. I generally do not advocate lying to one's progeny; however, in this case, generally a little obfuscation goes a long way.
"Daddy, are you carrying a gun now?" is generally met with either silence (the old "pretend I didn't hear the question" - the other parents out there are nodding vigorously in agreement) or a blanket "that's not the kind of question you ask someone, buddy" in the same tone as when I remind him it's not polite to ask someone their age or weight (of course, you know these questions are only asked of the elderly/heavyset...)
Strangers - like someone spotting the "NRA" sticker on my truck, generally get one of two answers. If it's asked with a sneer, derision, or distaste, I'll generally take the wiseass approach (I'm sure you didn't see that coming...)
"Are you carrying a gun now?" (it's almost universally followed with an attempt at witticism generally hinting that I am either unstable and/or prone to random acts of violence towards folks I don't know) - in this case, generally met with a stock question of my own:
"That's a personal question, like me asking how much you weigh."
Or "That's my business. I wouldn't ask you if you were circumsized." (resist the temptation to use this on women. Just don't do it...)
If it's a sincere question, asked out of genuine curiousity without any apparent agenda, I'll generally go for the vague.
"I don't discuss my security protocols with people I've just met."
Bottom line: I see absolutely no reason ever to divulge this information with a complete stranger. Silence is golden.
What, though, when it's an acquaintance/co-worker/neighbor - someone you have a passing familiarity with? That's where it gets more complexious (to use a engrish term coined by one of our Japanese counterparts).
Basically, it boils down to how well you know and trust the person, and how you think they'll react to the answer. You've got three general choices:
1. Up-front: "I would no sooner leave the house without some form of self-defense than without pants" or some variation thereof. Personally, I think it's best to avoid "gun", "firearm", or even "weapon" entirely if at all possible. This response lends well to the "Do you have a fire extinguisher in your home?" "Do you wear a seatbelt?" rebuttals - make it clear that you carry for your own defense in the same manner that one would have the basic tools for any given emergency.
2. Some form of the above deflection - generally along the lines of the vague "That's a very personal question that I would prefer not to answer". Note that this answer will most likely be taken as a yes...
3. Lie. Yeah, honesty is the best policy. We have no reason to hide it. Etc. Sometimes, discretion is the better part of valor. No sense getting into a pissing contest with one's boss, or be accused of trying to intimidate a neighbor.
So that's my thoughts on "That question". Please bear in mind that I live in one of the most restrictive states for CCW and general 2A acceptance, and my responses are filtered through that particular prism.
In a less-restrictive state, where my response might not get my permit revoked, I might be tempted to respond far more argumentatively.
"Yes, I am carrying a gun right now. Carrying a whole cop was too heavy for my back."
"There's only way you'll find out, and I don't recommend it."
"Of course I am. Only a complete moron would adjucate personal responsibility for his own self-defense to another."
(to a questioner of the female variety) "Why, yes, I do have an 8" hogleg in my pants. Want to shoot it?"
You get the idea...
That is all.
15 comments:
I answer folks I know with " It's legal and I have pants on, so what do you think?"
In Florida, it is just a prelude to checking out each other's weapon and maybe busting some balls on the choice of caliber.
Ahahaa. The last one.. "Humble Jay"... *giggle*
"There's only way you'll find out, and I don't recommend it." - my favorite.
How about, 'nope, just happy to see you!'
I've answered it a few times. Different answers each time, mostly according to location, really.
Asked by my 15-year-old nephew on a hike, "Maybe. And if you ask me again, I'll shoot you and nobody will find your body for days." (He gets the snark thing, and he didn't ask me again)
Asked by a friend of the same age at his place of business, "Oh, it's not necessary because I have you here to protect me." (Note: I didn't say "no". :-)
Asked by my older brother in Wal-Mart, "Yes. Now shut up before you start scaring people."
I guess it's a function of living in Virginia that I've never given much thought to trying to hide it.
When carrying concealed, I don't think I've ever been asked by anyone other than my wife. And the only reason she ever asks is when there's something going on that makes her nervous...she's always relieved when I answer in the affirmative.
Being a gunny and/or having a concealed handgun permit here is not all that unusual.
More than once, after mentioning that I have a CHP, the next few minutes were spent comparing the several other CHPs present in the group to comment on the differences in the formats of permits from different localities.
The only times I've had complete strangers inquire about it wasn't to ask if I was carrying when concealed, it was to mention the openly carried firearm on my side.
Most of the time the question revolves around the selection of firearm...i.e: What is that you're carrying? Generally followed by..."Oh, I carry an XXX in XXX caliber."
Sometimes it's asking if that's legal...generally followed by "I thought I had to get a permit...I feel better knowing that I can carry openly if I feel like I need to".
Occasionally, I'm asked "why do you carry a gun?" To which I reply: "Do you read, listen to or watch the news? If so...why don't YOU carry a gun?"
In all the years I've been carrying, I've only had overtly bad experiences twice. Once was an obvious gun hater in a line at a department store who said something derogatory about people carrying guns being dangerous whackos. To which I replied that I must not be too dangerous, considering that she felt comfortable enough to freely insult me about it. That ended the exchange, though not without some under-the-breath grumbling.
The other was actually a bit funny. I was standing in line at the 7-11 right on the corner up the street from my house...one that I patronize quite regularly and most of the time openly armed. While in line I was chatting with a gentleman with a young (like 6 or 7 year old) boy. It was a pleasant conversation, but apparently neither of them noticed the full sized .45 on my hip.
I left the store first and was in the process of mounting my trusty iron steed when they walked out shortly after me.
The kid, at eye level with it, noticed the gun and asked his dad "why's that man got a gun?"
The dad, noticing that I was armed for the first time, recoiled in horror, grabbed his kid's hand and rushed him away without saying a word.
I didn't get a chance to say anything to him, but I would have asked him why I was more dangerous now that he knew I was armed than when I was standing in the store right next to him while he was blissfully unaware.
Anyway, sorry for bogarting your comments section, I just thought your perspective was...interesting.
I see no reason to hide the fact that I take the safety and security of myself, my family and possibly those around me seriously. I'm not embarrassed about it nor am I afraid for my friends or acquaintances to know about it...in fact, I WANT them to know about it. If they have a problem with it, then I don't want them to feel like I was hiding something from them that they should have known.
And if they are upset enough about it that they don't want to associate with me over it...well, that's a two way street.
Of course, the difference is that I live in a free state rather than the occupied territories.
You have my sympathies...and admiration. Keep fighting the good fight, you're on the front lines. I'm just a REMF.
Here in Tennessee, I doubt the question would ever come up, and if it did, it would be more a matter of the interrogator being curious as to my choice of hardware, holster, caliber, etc. That said, my reflexive answer to that kind of question from anyone other than a friend or family would probably be something along the lines of, "None of your gorramed business," but then, I hate stupid questions :).
English is my primary language, but I've never heard of the word: adjucate.
I cannot find it in any dictionary.
What does adjucate mean?
Please provide a link to a definition.
Thanks!
jcard21
jimbob86,
I'm partial to that one, myself. My standard response to good friends who ask that question is "If I'm outside the house, I'm armed"...
andrew,
We've had a few get-togethers along those lines... Key word missing is "what" as in "What gun are you carrying right now?"...
elizabeth,
Heh. What can I say? ;)
Murphy,
The smart-alec in me loves that one. The pragmatic in me knows that, in MA, such a line would be taken as a threat and acted on accordingly (i.e. a "OH NOES MAN WITH A GUN" call to the po-po...)
liberty,
Yeah, it's the good friends that can be the worst sometimes... "ARE YOU CARRYING RIGHT NOW" in a stentorian voice lifting clear through the aisles of the supermarket. Thanks pal. Remind me to whiz in your Cheerios tomorrow morning...
sailorcurt,
I did mention my response was tempered per my location.
Were I to reside a scant 20 miles north, in the great state of New Hampster, my response would be quite different...
And the "Why do you carry a gun" question comes up too, but that's a matter for a different post...
linoge,
Yeah, I've used a politer version of that (called NUNYA as in nunya bidness)...
jcard,
Heh. You got me. I spelled it with a "c" rather than "g". Adjugate, to tie to, not spelled aducate.
Looks like I should have had more coffee...
Only been asked a few times sofar. I'm rather partial to the : "That's sorta a rude question to ask..."
Sofar it achives the desired effect....
I've only been asked once (by my wife) if I was carrying. That was when we were first married and took the subway into the city to do some shopping. She apparently didn't like the look of some of our fellow riders.
Weer'd, I like the way you think. I'm going to use that if the question ever comes up.
That's more polite than my in case I ever need it response, "For the same reason a dog licks it's genitals."
Maybe I need LESS coffee!
If I'm carrying in deep cover, and I'm confident of my concealment, I tend to lift my arms up (showing an empty waistline) and say "where would I carry it?", thus avoiding the lie and making them feel sheepish for asking.
But I love some of these answers. I'm going to have to swipe a few.
As I said in my posted on the topic, it all depends on who you are talking to.
For complete strangers, it is a tactical decision to hide it from them (be polite, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet.)
Plus, in a state where open-carry is very much illegal, people who do carry have to be aware that it is easy to get screwed over. For instance, if you tell a stranger who happens to be anti-gun "never leave home without my Glock", they could call the police and say you pulled your gun, and be able to give a perfect description of the gun to the police... meaning you better have a good lawyer.
What I carry and my current state of carry is OPSEC information. Only those I trust have that information.
Of course, its hard not to be a sarcastic ass anyway. My favorite is still "Nope. Just happy to see ya!"
my wife never asks, although she will sometimes comment after we're home and she says "oh, you had THAT one today?"
I've never been asked in 15 years but I've been holding on to "have you ever seen a colostomy bag before? here, let me show you."
that from my brother, who has the bag, but not the gun. ;-)
I will say here that when asked by a LEO I will always comply and inform them of my status. If asked by anyone else, including family members. "And that's your business How?" Family members get the point, it's none of their dang business if I am or am not carrying a weapon. And I do mean weapon as I carry anything from my revolver, to a maglight to a knife, to any other form of improvised weapon that doesn't look like a weapon. The one I am always with is my cane. In the right hands a cane is one of the deadliest weapons for CQB, I'm not the right hands but I know enough to use it to defend myself.
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