- Armor-piercing ammunition: Any round capable of penetrating tinfoil.
- Arsenal: A lot of guns. Can be as little as two or three, with no known upper limit.
- Assault weapon: Any firearm ever made, up to and including matchlocks.
- Background check: Absolute necessity that should ideally involve a body cavity search and complete psychological profile consisting of one question: Aren't you nuts for wanting a gun?
- Barrel shroud: That shoulder thing that goes up (I just HAD to get that one in!)
- Bullet: Cartridge. 99.9999% chance they do not mean the actual projectile.
- Cache: Usually less than arsenal, although the two are sometimes used interchangeably.
- Clip: Magazine. 99.9999% chance they do not mean a stripper, moon, or en bloc clip.
- Easily concealed: Any firearm smaller than a Yugo.
- Firepower: Any firearm of any kind. May even include air rifles, paintball markers, or Super Soakers.
- Fully automatic: Semi-automatic (99% of the time).
- Gun show loophole: Private sale of firearm.
- Gun trafficking: Ownership of a particular firearm changed hands. Potentially illegal, but not always a given.
- High capacity: Any magazine capable of holding more than 10 rounds. Sometimes 8 or 9.
- High-powered: Anything above .22LR.
- Illegal gun: Every firearm ever made. If we have our way.
- Machine gun: Semi-automatic (99% of the time).
- Military-style: Someone, somewhere heard from a friend that the weapon in question may have been based on a design that some country's military may have used at some point in the past. Or present.
- Semi-automatic revolver: We have no fucking clue what we're talking about, as the odds of us meaning the Mateba are about the same as us actually committing an act of journalism on the Light Bringer...
- Sniper rifle: Any rifle capable of firing a bullet more than 20 feet.
- "Straw man" purchase: Any purchase of a firearm. It just sounds scarier in quotes.
- Teflon bullets: See the start of Semi-automatic revolver; typically seen in op-eds and other scare pieces. Most often paired with "cop-killer" bullets, which we presume are more deadly than standard "human killer" bullets.
- Unregistered firearm: We are completely oblivious to the fact that the majority of states do not require that one submit a list of all the firearms one owns.
So, what terms have I missed?
That is all.
23 comments:
How about the scary "Fully Loaded" ? To imply that the perpetrator was even more dangerous! He filled his "clips" with "bullets"!
How about 'sniper scope'?
i.e. The perpetrator had a sniper scope on his assualt rifle. Translation: He had an SKS with a Tasco scope on it.
"Background check" must be repeated every time you buy a gun. Or ammo.
Gun Totin Bible Thumping Cousin Humper -- anyone who owns a firearm
Sniper Assault Rifle.
Which always made me thing of some fool with a 16" Barrett M82,fully auto with 30 rnd mags, and a Bayonet and vertical forgrip on the front.
Jay, I'm a little surprised you missed this special Massachusetts edition "gun crime" term.
Victim . . .
The violent recidivist sociopathic break-and-enter perpetrator shot & killed by a gun-owning citizen who acted to protect his home & family.
"Easily concealed: Any firearm smaller than a Yugo."
SKS, Mauser, or Car? I suspect the latter. A friend of mine owned an "Easily Concealed" Ford Fiesta!
Also:"High-powered: Anything above .22LR." I've seen 10-22s discribed as such, as well as Gamo Air rifles.
Great morning laugh, Jay!
Oh you missed a big one:
"Arming [goup]": Allowing any lawful person the right to posess ANYTHING firearms related.
Of course this has nothing to do with if any member of said group (Students, Teachers, Church Goers, Restaurant Patrons, Park Goers ect) will actually exercise said right...
Saturday Night Special: The standard Glock 17 (I'm not making that up--Has to be modified to make import points) or anything smaller.
Hollow point: Rounds that expand to the size of a quarter, with razor sharp talons--even in .32.
Magnum: Rounds so powerful they will kill if they hit a pinkie finger.
With a round in the chamber: A particularly dangerous method of carrying a gun, only used by police and the mentally unstable.
Hidden guns: A particularly sneaky way of carrying a handgun, only used if you are dishonest.
Open carry: A particularly aggressive way of carrying a handgun, only used if you are trying to intimidate.
Flash Hider: Makes the flash of a rifle invisible so terrorists can evade detection.
.50 caliber: Almost as powerful and effective as a Sidewinder missile, capable of shooting down airliners with a single shot. Even the muzzle loader versions.
The leg: The only acceptable place to shoot a bad guy, but only if you cannot shoot the gun out of his hand without hitting his hand.
Tazer: A perfect substitute for a gun in all legitimate circumstances.
Pepper Spray: A perfect substitute for a gun in all legitimate circumstances.
Hunting guns: The single-shot .22's and .410 shotguns we aren't going to confiscate, at least until we've confiscated everything else.
Obsessed with guns: Anyone who owns more than one gun, takes a training class, or goes to the range more than 3 times a year (except just before hunting season)
Untrained: Anyone who does not take a training class, or goes to the range less than 3 times a year other than just before hunting season.
Paranoid: Anyone who carries a gun. Evidence that they are not responsible enough to carry a gun.
How about "compound"?
That is what they would call your house since you own multiple firearms.
Oh, and it goes without saying that any children housed in a "compound" are being molested by the owner of said "compound".
Nice job!
Here are a few more you might consider adding:
Compound.
Gun Control.
Junk Gun.
Registration.
Saturday Night Special.
More on the term Hollow point:
Psych Killer Nazi Dum-Dum Bullets, or sometimes just Dum-Dums.
Heh...hehheh. He said "barrel shroud". That's funny right there. God bless youtube and Tucker Carlson... that clip will NEVER get old.
I believe these need to be included:
"Big Boomers" (Jar Jar Binks says they had big boomers, may refer to either large caliber revolvers or Hooter's employees.)
"Saturday Night Specials" (ie: Guns priced lower than your monthly rent payment.)
"Open Carry" (ie: Intimidation and disturbing the peace, or having your zipper down)
"BMG" (You know, Big Mother-f**** Gun)
"Security Guard" (Any civilian with a concealed carry permit who stops a would be murder rampage.)
http://www.keepandbeararms.com/information/XcIBViewItem.asp?ID=1312
Here's a more complete list.
Cop-Killer bullets. Any cartridge that can pierce body armor.
Plastic guns: designed specifically to go through airport metal detectors, such as Glocks. Never mind that the frame is typically the only plastic part of the pistol.
weapon of choice: whatever the scariest gun of the moment is. "The Tec-9 is the weapon of choice among street gangs."
Actually BMG stands for Browning Machine Gun, but the alternate meaning is also true :-)
The interchangability of EBR and "partrol Rifle" depending on whom is reported to be carrying it...
'Brandish': To allow any part of a firearm to be seen (or anything that appears to be a firearm, or any other object perceived as dangerous)
"Background check: Absolute necessity that should ideally involve a body cavity search and complete psychological profile consisting of one question: Aren't you nuts for wanting a gun?"
And don't forget, if you say "yes" to that question, you no longer qualify for buying, and if you say "No", then you are in denial.
Your definition of "high-powered" needs tweaking.
Duty to retreat: The legal obligation to hide or attempt escape by any means available, rather than standing your ground to defend your life, the life of another, or your property.
Example:
Bad guy: Breaks in or attempts to break in the back door of your occupied dwelling.
You: must try to run out of the front door, preferably unarmed and most certainly not "brandishing" a weapon. (See brandish above.)
Spouse, kids, and other legal occupants who may be elsewhere in the house: They're on their own (and also have a duty to retreat as soon as they become aware of the fact that they're in danger.)
Bad guy #2 (previously-unseen, in front yard)... Oops.
Well, that didn't work out so well, did it?
Castle Doctrine: The legal right to stand your ground in any location are legally present and defend your life or the life of another person against imminent danger.
Example:
Bad guy: Breaks in the back door of your occupied dwelling.
You: call the medical examiner and schedule a pick up.
Spouse, kids, and other legal occupants of the house: scared but otherwise unharmed.
Unseen bad guy #2 in the front yard: hauls ass when he hears the gunshot, only to be arrested three days later on unrelated charges.
See how much better that works out?
Also...
Concealed Weapon Permit, Concealed Carry License, etc.: A state-issued license to kill which authorizes you to
a) carry a weapon in places where weapons are prohibited
b) display, brandish, use, or threaten to use a deadly weapon
c) "fire indiscriminately into the crowd" when you feel threatened
This license also exempts you from criminal and civil liability resulting from injury to or the killing of an innocent third party during the otherwise-justified use of deadly force.
Not.
Reasonable = a word attached to ALL gun control legislation to make anyone who objects to it sound irrational and stupid.
After all if the law is reasonable any objection to it is obviously unreasonable.
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