Sonofabi...

I hate the Fourth of July.

There. I said it.

But why, Jay? Why do you hate the Fourth of July? Are you some closet communist who hates America? Victim of a tragic fireworks accident? Painful reminder of how far we've fallen since we fought for liberty?

No. It's the damned fireworks.

For about three weeks before the Fourth and a couple weeks after, we're treated to Amateur Hour in Illegal Fireworks Village. Every night starting around 10-10:30, there's the telltale "WHOOMP" of someone shooting off yet another illicit explosive device. After the first few nights, it's easy to ignore.

But the first night or two, every time something goes off, I jump up and start reaching for the sidearm before I realize what it is...

That is all.