Okay, I've got a question for the other parents out there: At what age did/should your child get a cell phone of their own?
Yes, I know, this is one of those "At what age can I bring my kid to the range?" questions - everyone's kid is different; kids mature at different rates; there are some 18 year olds who shouldn't be trusted with their own cell phone and some six year olds who can. I'm just curious what other parents have done/thought about the issue.
TheBoy announced that he wanted a Blackberry for Christmas. Now, there's no way on G-d's Green Earth I'm giving a $300 phone (and > $50/month package) to an eight year old; I'll state that right off the bat. I'll be damned if my kid has a better phone than I do, for starters... We're also talking about a kid who will walk out of the house with no coat on in February because he "forgot" to put it on - I'd give the lifespan of the phone in days, let alone weeks. It did get me thinking, though, about what age would be appropriate to get him his own phone.
He's definitely got some time before he needs a cell phone - we still drive him everywhere, and most times either stay in the area. There's always an adult close by that we are certain to give our number to in case of emergency (or it's already on file with the organization). He's not at the point where he stays after school for sports or other events and might need to call for a ride; he's also not at the point with his friends where they go off on their own.
He's got some time before he gets a phone, that's for darned sure...
That is all.
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26 comments:
TheBoy announced that he wanted a Blackberry for Christmas.
Why? What does he want it for? If just as a status symbol, then there's your answer. If he has, or thinks he has, a legitimate use for it other than as a cellphone/email/texting device, then maybe there's another PDA that will fill the bill -- something that costs a lot less than $300.
I "allowed" the kids to share the use of one cell phone when they went places starting at age 13 or 14 (around 8th grade). The phone had voice service only, no texting, internet, etc.. In retrospect, I think it was too early...
If I had it to do again, I would try and hold out until they get a learner's permit. Once they get the phone, they stop communicating with the parents. That goes double for texting because they WILL hide their conversations from you and you may not like what they are saying (I found out the hard way that one of my kids was being naughty over text). Texting is THE preferred way to have a conversation without letting the parents know what is being said, since you cannot overhear it.
My $0.03, tax included.
When they get a drivers permit and start leaving the house alone.
A cell phone is a handy thing to have when you are out and about on your own for the first time.
My wife and daughters all had cell phones for years before I ever got one. I always thought they were just a bunch of nonsense.
Now if I leave home without my cell phone it seems like a tragedy.
Until children are paying for such items and service plans on their own, the decision will be based on *my* need to communicate with them. IMO, a cell phone paid for by a parent is for the parent's convenience, not the child's.
'Course, I'm a mean bastard who generally believes that privilege is earned through responsibility. I've even been known to raise my voice to children before...
I had a phone with forty minutes shared on mom and dad's plan when I was fifteen.
My best suggestion is, when you *do* give him a phone, start off with the cheapest possible one, on a "if you take care of this one you can upgrade later" type thing.
When our son started traveling to far-off sports events with his junior high team(private Christian school), we got him one for the times when they would go eat afterward and come back late, so he could call us to come pick him up. And he was given a low-end, no-frills cellphone. I believe I would have laughed at him if he had said he wanted a Blackberry and was serious. He's 20 years old now, and I would still be laughing.
Of course, he's an Airborne Combat Medic now, and we got him a topline Nokia Smartphone after Boot Camp, so I guess we're even for the crappy phone we gave him earlier.
B-)
As with some previous commenters, my kids got cell phones when they started driving and were only for emergency use, or to communicate with the people paying the cell phone bill...not for chatting with their friends.
They didn't get to use them at will until they started paying for the service themselves.
Of course, at the time, cell phone minutes were much more expensive than they are now.
I had an old brick phone that was tethered to my car when I was 17 and started working and driving. I got my first modern cellphone after I graduated high school, and I've always been responsible for the bill. Baby Brother got his on about the same timeline.
Oh, and TheBoy, I was almost 27 when I got my BlackBerry. They're spendy. Convince your folks to invest that money in .22lr teaching you to shoot instead.
I guess I'll be the contrarian today. My kids got cell phones when they were 11. We live in a fairly densely packed neighborhood. The kids would go from house to house and it was almost impossible to get a hold of them when we needed to. Of course we didn't start right off with a Smart phone. First they had to prove they were responsible enough to have one (try having them keep track of a watch). Second, came a walkie talkie. This was great until we found that there were spots that didn't get reception. Next, came the phone. When I upgraded my phone they got the old one. Of course, no texting, games etc. We learned this the hard way. Finally, we allow my son to have texting. He's almost 16, plays football & lacrosse. We let him have it because the team captains would communicate with them re: practice schedule changes/locations etc. Of course he pays for the extra texting charge out of his own pocket.
We have a third phone on our plan, and the boys share it based on what they're doing that day. Right now Kane uses it more because he's at basketball practices and games almost every day.
We're careful to point out that it's not their phone, it's a hand-me-down that can disappear for any reason.
There are some basic phones, which give the parent a lot of control over who the kids call, available. My kids are way too old for that, so I don't know the details, but you should look into it.
When my kids hit 15 or 16, as much as I didn't like it, I realized that they did need some sort of phone. Because I'm a male chauvinist, uh concerned dad, I felt more strongly that my daughter should have one when she turned 16. I'm an old fuddy duddy, but I can't see that kids younger than that age really need their own phones.
Get him one now if it has the following options:
GPS tracking. Depending on package you can ping his location from a computer or your own phone (if compatible). Helps in finding lost phone as well.
Local (VA) phone service has option that will alert parents if phone goes more than X distance from home/school address. Distance determined when package set up.
Don't tell The Boy about options.
w/v = efarta. I'll be giggling all day.
I didn't have a cell phone until I was 16 or 17. My parents felt there was no real need until I was able to drive.
Even then, it was a basic phone, no special features (not even texting.)
There's no reason the kid needs a blackberry, Iphone etc. Not to mention how often stuff like nice phones ends up stolen at school.
My wife and I had a conversation about this recently. Granted, our son is only two and technology will probably be different in the next 5 to 10 years, but we both are in agreement that if he wants a phone, he has to pay for it. And if we want a phone for him, we'll pay for it, but it will be one that only allows certain numbers to be called and probably not allow texting or photos.
Once he's around driving age, we'll revisit it, but it will still be something he has to pay for - good motivation to get a job!
I didn't get a cell phone until I was driving to and from school out of state when I was 19. I got through high school on pay phones. Of course, try to find a working pay phone now. I'd say now that a cell phone would be required when kids reach driving age. It's up to you who pays for it. If it were me, I'd provide a bare bones phone for emergencies, but make the kid pay for anything beyond that with their own money.
Thanks for the comments everyone. I'm not getting him a phone any time soon, that's for certain, but it's always a good idea to be thinking ahead.
I'm leaning towards early teens - right around when he starts going to the mall with friends, that sort of thing. As far as paying for it, I think we can front a separate line for $10, and he can pay the overages.
He ain't getting it now, though...
My kids get a phone when they are old enough to come home to an empty house. That was 12 for the daughter.
Since I was a single mom, I thought it imperative that my daughter have a cell phone as soon as she stopped going to after school care, which was middle school. I wanted her to always be able to get in touch with me if necessary. Of course, my daughter is the odd duck in that she always hated talking on the phone, so I never had to worry about overages. Only whether she had turned the damned thing on or not!
I think we can front a separate line for $10, and he can pay the overages.
This is what was supposed to happen with my sisters.... haha.
You would not believe the bills my dad would get for our family plan. All of us "kids" (my sisters are 18 and 23) are still covered under it, and only I cut him a check for my portion.
Beware Jay, especially when your daughter wants a phone. My 23 y/o sister routinely uses 3-4 times the minutes my dad and I use combined. One month this year she used almost enough to cover the minutes we have for all 5 phones.
My 23 y/o sister routinely uses 3-4 times the minutes my dad and I use combined. One month this year she used almost enough to cover the minutes we have for all 5 phones.
My carrier includes unlimited minutes to ALL other cell phones, which to me is essentially unlimited minutes. Who calls landlines anymore?
I don't have a cell phone, and I won't be buying any of my kids a cell phone.
I don't have a cell phone, and I won't be buying any of my kids a cell phone.
What do you plan to do if your car breaks down and it's not something you can fix at the side of the road?
8 is pretty early, but once you think he is ready why not a prepaid phone from Walmart? They're cheap and you'll have total control over how he uses it. Once he learns to use it responsibly then you can see about an upgrade. I got mine right after graduating from high school and only because I had a job and could pay for it.
What do you plan to do if your car breaks down and it's not something you can fix at the side of the road?
Walk (its good exercise).
Flag down the next car (you can meet new people this way).
You know, all the stuff that people did before we had cell phones.
It does seem like a status thing. My boy asked for one for Christmas... he's 6. I remember asking for a penknife at about that age. That was our status symbol back then... and at that age, about as appropriate as a cell phone is today...
Initially we figured they'd get them when they got their driver's license. Since they are with us, my parents, or another responsible adult now, we see no reason for one. They will not be going places alone or alone with friends (without a responsible adult) until they can drive. However, since we are now all getting our HAM licenses, there's no need for a cell phone, just a hand-talkie or mobile unit. Plus then there is no enticement to call friends while driving. None of their friends will have a HAM radio. Cricket has been begging for a cell phone for 4 years. She is the only one in junior high without one. Bugaboo is one of the only ones in third grade. Most everyone has one by 5th grade and I have yet to understand why. I can't afford it aside from the dangers they expose children to.
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