Wednesday, March 17, 2010

How Do They Spin This One?

Man used penis to assault female police officer
A man who assaulted a female police officer with his penis has been fined.

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his penis when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

The anti-gun lobby likes to snigger and make penis jokes about those of us who support the Second Amendment. Usually it implies that gunowners - who are typically male - own firearms as some sort of compensation for small genitalia. Leaving aside the thorny issue of female gun owners (who, one can only assume, the anti-gun lobby would accuse of phallus envy), it's a childish taunt that should be given about as much credence as "I'm rubber you're glue"...

One can only wonder if Mr. Varinauskas was compensating for not having a firearm...

That is all.

Link sent to me via e-mail by Dave. Thanks for the head-scratcher!

7 comments:

O H Bark said...

If this is gonna turn out anything like firearm offenses in Britain in the past, Parliament will create legislation to prohobit ownership of these dangerous weapons, penises.
Just think about these deadly weapons, which are so loosely controlled that every single man in Great Britain, no matter what his criminal record contains, owns one!

Sooner or later Parliament will order the compulsory emasculation of all male babies at birth.

Borepatch said...

She should have tasered him in the 'nads ...

Roadkill said...

I find it funny. The Antis accuse us of being cowards and needing guns to feel in control of our fears. Yet, we're not afraid of guns and they are... But they say we're afraid of people and they're afraid of us? It can be hard to wrap around the ol' thinkmeat.

BobG said...

Maybe the authorities should confiscate his "weapon"...

Lissa said...

As I commented over at Breda's, the only time I'm struck with 'phallus envy' is when confronted with a particularly nasty portapotty. And I don't see how Siguette would help me with that!

Patrick said...

Well there is no way in hell they could accuse him of penis envy. "He tried to striker the officer on the head with his penis".

Fuck. I think I might have penis envy on that one, unless she's one of those 3 foot officers.

Anonymous said...

It takes a really big prick to use your penis as an assault weapon.