[P]ost a story of one time when you fell down, when adult beverages were involved.Weeelllll... I happen to have a story or two like those in my long and sordid past... I went to not one but two state schools in my quest for "higher" education, and spent many a night in thrall to Mssrs. Daniels, Beam, or Walker. One night in particular stands out...
Our dormitory was arranged in suites - one single room, four double rooms, and one triple room - an even dozen young men loosely arranged by age in a college with approximately 6:1 female to male ratio at the time (I came from an all-male Catholic high school, and I would be lying if I said that the ratio did not play a role in my selection of this college...) Well, I'd had a fight with my girlfriend at the time, and was sitting in my room feeling sorry for myself when my buddy from across the hall stopped in. He'd gotten the infamous "Dear John" letter from his girl back home, and was in the same state of mind.
Well, I happened to have a full bottle of Jim Beam in my room.
Over the course of the next few hours, we proceeded to turn the full bottle of Jim Beam into an empty bottle of Jim Beam. The entire time, we had a cassette tape with the Fools' "Life Sucks" which we proceeded to play over and over and over. It's amazing that the rest of the suite didn't knock down the door and throw us out the damn window. Arriving at a state of complete and utter intoxication, we decided that it would be a good idea to go visit some friends of the female persuasion who might be amenable to easing our pain (I did state that we were pretty well obliterated, right?).
Ever try to negotiate a small college campus when you've had the entire contents of a whiskey bottle sloshing around in your gut?
Suffice to say, there was an incident involving a retaining wall that was more than a retaining wall - it was the staircase out of the basement of the main lobby building. Hopping over the low wall - and realizing it was an 8' drop onto concrete - did wonders for improving sobriety. I can only assume it was the "lubricating" effect of the alcohol that prevented serious injury.
I stayed away from whiskey for a long time after that...
That is all.
7 comments:
I've witnessed a reasonably similar version of this, although I was not directly involved. While visiting a friend who was in tech school at Chanute AFB, we were standing near his barracks shortly before curfew. The road in front was under complete replacement down to the foundation. There was a bed of fist-sized gravel laid at least a foot below grade--and a run of string on stakes about 6 inches above marking the edge of the dug-out section. This was at dusk, just before curfew, and the road was between his barracks and the Airman's Club.
There was a steady stream of Airmen at varying levels of sobriety trying to negotiate this obstacle, with varying levels of success. I was surprised at the fairly small amount of blood involved.
At least no poison ivy was involved ...
;-)
When I was younger, most of my group of friends owned 4x4 vehicles (mine at this time was a '78 Ramcharger with a 440 engine out of a Roadrunner, and 40" tall Monster Mudder tires). Our usual weekend ritual was to load the pickups with old pallets and go have a ginormous bonfire out in the middle of a swamp (lifted 4wd access only. the local PD also owned a Ramcharger with 33" tires, we needed to go in beyond their reach, heh) while consuming massive amounts of beer and Jack Daniels. We'd back the trucks around the fire, and sit on the tailgates. One such night my friend John was sitting on his tailgate with 2 girls. Well, 1 guy and 2 girls wasn't fair, so I decided to hop up there with them. Well, I was 80lbs lighter then I am today, but it turned out one of the 2 cables that holds the tailgate horizontal was already broke, and when I hopped up the remaining one broke as well. The tailgate dropped and all 4 of us landed on our drunk @sses. I then fell back, and since John's truck didn't have a rear bumper at the time, the back of my head smashed into the exposed end of the frame rail of the truck. Got a pretty good gash and it was bleeding pretty heavy and full of rust and dirt. A few friends washed the wound out with beer, then "sterilized" it with the JD. They then drove me and my truck home, and left me on the front steps. I probably should have had stitches; I still have a huge scar back there.
So Jay . . . . did you happen to "tie one on" last night, take a walk down memory lane?
I refuse to answer on the grounds it may tend to incriminate me ; )
How falling down drunk will you get when Barney Frank loses?
http://www.flemingandhayes.com/qall-politics-is-localq/12434-barney-franks-boyfriend-heckles-sean-bielat
God watches over fools, drunks and small children. Though there is often some overlap between the first two ;-)
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