Inmate gets special meals as adherent of Festivus
SANTA ANA, Calif. -- An Orange County inmate who disliked salami got special meals after declaring his religious belief in the Festivus holiday celebrated on the television show "Seinfeld."
The Orange County Register reports Monday that 38-year-old convicted drug dealer Malcolm Alarmo King asked for kosher meals at the Theo Lacy jail to maintain his healthy physique.
Now, there's nothing in the story, but I wonder if this was one of those "we have to approve the request until we win the appeal" kind of thing, where requests for religious exemptions are automatically approved until they can be disproven. It's quite possible that everyone involved knew this was BS from the get-go, but that it took two months to get the paperwork straightened out to deny the claim. The alternative, of course, is that no one in the entire system watched Seinfeld, ever, or had even the most tenuous grip on popular culture. In any case, bravo to Mr. King for sheer chutzpah!
Festivus. For the rest of us.
That is all.
11 comments:
"But sheriff's officials reserve kosher meals for inmates with a religious need.
Judge Derek G. Johnson demanded a religious reason for King to receive the meals and defense attorney Fred Thiagarajah cited his client's devotion to Festivus -- a holiday celebrated on "Seinfeld" with an aluminum pole and the airing of grievances.
Sheriff's Department spokesman Ryan Burris says King got salami-free meals for two months before the county got the order thrown out in court."
So why didn't he just convert to Judaism? They can't throw THAT out!
One wonders if you could get unlimited spaghetti & meatballs by claiming to be a Pastafarian.
As a dual faith member of the Reform Church of our prophet John Moses Browning (PBUH) and the Second Church of Jesus Christ, Sniper, I have a First Amendment claim to reasonable accommodation for my daily religious obligation to partake of the Sacrament of Discharging.
I must also partake quarterly of the Sacrament of Reconfiguration, whereis I will move stuff around on the rails of my EBRs.
January 23rd of each year is a Holy Day of Obligation to celebrate the feast day of Our Prophet John Moses Browning (PBUH), where I must partake of the Sacrament of Discharging once per daylight hour, each with a different gun, and during the Sacrament of Renewal, clean the weapons in silence for three hours after sunset.
I must also make an annual hajj to the local Temple of Icons (under many names shall they be known) to partake of the Ritual of Pedantic Annoyances and transfer a firearm into my possession. It's OK to do this many times per year, yea, I say unto you, encouraged, but it must be done at least once.
Lastly, it is my obligation to Rebuke the Unbeleivers where'er they be found, although the Rebuke takes many forms, from gentle persuasion, to the Holy Obligation of Taking the Noob to the Range, to a banana cream pie.
With a middle name of "Alarmo" -- shouldn't that be a tip off?
I hereby nominate Tirno's post as Best Comment of 2010. All in favor?
Politics... sigh...
Ever since the Episcopal Church gave up Christianity I've been looking for a new spiritual home.
Tirno has supplied a new path to inner peace.
Truly the season of miracles!
Sorry, Tirno... I just HAD to crosspost your comment to Northeastshooters.com.
It was dripping too much awesomesauce for one blog.
Ross, no problem, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
The spirit moved me; I was inspired.
Tirno ... excellent!!
You win the internets :)
:)
"I hereby nominate Tirno's post as Best Comment of 2010. All in favor?"
Aye!
To be a member of the Church of our prophet John Moses Browning (PBUH) (Orthodox, Reform or Unitarian branches), one must love both Life and Peace.
Thy love of Life and Peace must be all-consuming. All those that love Life and Peace are your brethren and sistren, yea, even those that do not Believe in the word of JMB(PBUH), although we have Hope that they may someday come to believe.
Thy love of Life and Peace must be such that you will defend it against those who would deprive you and others of it. In the circumstances where a foe of Life and Peace reveals himself, you must be prepared to visit short focussed Wrath upon him, such that the foe will no longer reduce the Peace of the world nor harm the Life thereof.
And so I enjoin you, all that believe:
Piece Be Upon You, Always.
Orthodox branch: Only JMB(PBUH) designs are acceptable
Reform branch: JMB(PBUH) designs are revered, but adaptations of the design are acceptable, i.e. full length guide rods, doublestack magazines, etc.
Unitarian branch: All firearms are acceptable, while JMB(PBUH) designs are held in highest esteem
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