Thursday, April 7, 2011

Anyone Seen T-Bolt Lately?

I hope New Jovian Thunderbolt has an alibi...

Maryland man glued to Wal-Mart toilet seat

(CNN) -- Police in Maryland are on the hunt for the perpetrator of what appears to be an April Fools' Day prank that left a man glued to a toilet at a Wal-Mart store.

If caught, the jokester who doused the seat with glue at the Elkton Wal-Mart on March 31 could face second-degree assault charges, said Lt. Matthew Donnelly of the Elkton Police Department.

You know what frightens me most about this story? There are people out there that will sit down on a public toilet - in a Wal-Mart no less - without even looking at the seat. I won't sit down without a thorough cleansing of the seat in question, and will gladly make use of the "ass gasket" if offered. But then again, I hate public toilets, so...

Brings new meaning to "glued to your seat" though...

That is all.

10 comments:

Tango said...

haha, reminds me of a friend of mine. He was assisting his child in using the bathroom who's male member could barely reach the toilet rim. He helped him aim and his son yelled "STOP TOUCHING MY PENIS!" The bathroom was packed at the time.

"It's ok! He's my son!"

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Man, I wasn't even near the restrooms of that store when it happened. I was in the camping gear section.

Teke said...

Possible Update ... Darwin award given to prankster who manages to glue himself to a Wal-Mart toilet seat. He stated he was too embarrassed to admit his prank gone awry. After putting glue on the toilet seat he felt the immediate urge to use the toilet. He was in such a rush he didn't have time to deploy the ass gasket. Later he found out he was the subject of an earlier prank involving ex-lax laced brownies.

Veeshir said...

There are people out there that will sit down on a public toilet - in a Wal-Mart no less - without even looking at the seat.

The first thing I thought.

Dave H said...

I knew Walmart had some really aggressive business practices, but this takes customer retention to a whole new level.

Bubblehead Les. said...

This is a perfect example of living in "Code White".

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

My money says he did it to himself and thinks he can sue WalMart and retire.

Happened before.

Weer'd Beard said...

I'll sit on the seat...its my ass, not my mouth. That being said I have looked at several seats before picking the best one for my ass, and giving it a solid wipe-down with TP.

Old NFO said...

Agreed Jay...

Sabra said...

I regularly wipe down toilet seats before sitting, but I have trouble getting my kids to do it regularly. They think if they don't see anything, a wipe-down is unnecessary. There are too many women out there who squat & spray for me to risk it.