Movie Review... And More!

Today's movie review is the aging buddy flick "Wild Hogs". This is your standard fare buddy/road trip flick with a slight twist: They're all middle-aged guys on Harleys.

Well, since I happen to ride a Harley, and mathematically am rapidly approaching middle age, Mrs. G. thought this one would be right up my alley. Plus, with an impressive cast - Tim Allen, who I don't believe has made a bad film yet (or at least one that I've seen); John Travolta (too bad he's never done any buddy pictures of note...*g*); Martin Lawrence (who IMHO has the oddest buddy road trip pairing against Tim Robbins in "Nothing to Lose"); William H. Macy (fave appearance: The Shoveler in "Mystery Men"); Ray Liotta (man was in "Goodfellas", one of my all-time favorite movies) and Marisa Tomei (who is just as cute as a button) - it seemed like a can't-miss proposition.

The story is pretty rote fare: Four guys who have been friends since high school (which, BTW, pretty much covers my group of buds...) have formed their own motorcycle club (called the "Wild Hogs") as a protest against growing old. Each one has their little quirks - Doug (Allen) is a dentist who craves the approval of his teenaged son; Woody (Travolta) is going through a messy divorce; Dudley (Macy) is a single programmer nerd who is utterly clueless vis á vis women; and Bobby (Lawrence) is hen-pecked to within an inch of his life. They decide that a week-long road trip to CA on their bikes would be a cool thing to do to renew their zest for life.

Here's where I have my first quibble, and it's a minor one. They live in Cincinnati. They want to ride motorcycles to southern California. By my reckoning, that's approximately 2,000 miles one way. Unless all four are former participants in the "Iron Butt Rally" (a hardcore biker run when participants put on in excess of 1,000 miles a day), it's highly unlikely they'd have time to do little more than stop in CA, take a picture, and then head immediately home...

Also, anyone who's ever taken a motorcycle on any length of a trip will recognize the gaping reality problem - they're shown at their first stop for the night in a tent, with sleeping bags, an air mattress, camp stoves, etc. All four bikes are cruiser-style - none have saddlebags or trunks - and are shown en route with minimal gear strapped on.

But it's escapist cinematography, not a biker documentary, so we can forgive a multitude of sins. Not to mention there's a cameo by Paul Teutul Sr. and Paulie from Orange County Choppers as the co-owners of the bar that the Wild Hogs frequent.

The plot twist, where everything comes off the rails as all buddy-road-trip pictures must, happens in a bar in New Mexico where the Wild Hogs stop in a biker bar run/owned by the "Del Fuegos" (would have been a cute touch to have "Don't Run Wild" playing on the jukebox...). Interesting side note: The Del Fuegos were originally supposed to be Hell's Angels, but the Hell's Angels actually sued Disney to halt the unauthorized use of their name. Let me repeat that: The Hell's Angels sued the Walt Disney Corporation. Isn't that the most surreal sentence ever???

Suffice to say, good guys win, bad guys lose, everyone goes home happy in the end.

The movie was cute enough, with enough glorious New Mexico landscape to paste over the plot holes. Definitely worth the $20 for the DVD.

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The "more" referenced in the title is my personal objection to a theme in the movie. The whole reason that Jack (Ray Liotta's character, the leader of the Del Fuegos) goes after the Wild Hogs is that he doesn't like the "yuppification" of the biker scene.

This is something I've picked up on in many letters to the editor to various and sundry motorcycle-based magazines I read. There's the lament that most bikers today are lawyers or doctors or investment bankers, and that this is somehow a bad thing.

Now, I'll grant one thing: I don't like poseurs. Guys that drop $35K on a CVO custom Harley only to ride it 250 miles a year drive me nuts; it kills me that I only put 3K a year on my bike as it is. But my bike isn't a fashion statement. I've loved motorcycles since I was 5 years old and took a ride on the back of my dad's State Police Harley. I've owned a bike of some sort for 12 years now, and been a member of the AMA for over 10 years. I didn't turn 40 and suddenly discover my inner Wyatt.

To me, though, it's really true that "It's not what you ride, it's that you ride." I'll wave to any biker I pass, even if they're on a crotch rocket, rice racer, metric cruiser, Hondabago, etc. - they don't have to ride a Harley (or simply an American bike) to "prove" anything.

That is all.