Friday Fun Thread: Conservative Cars...

Okay, so turnabout is fair play. Last week's fun thread was cars associated with filthy hippies; this week we'll turn our eye to the cars most likely to be driven by stodgey conservatives.

So here's the list!

1. Ford Crown Victoria. Automotive conveyance for police officers, taxicab drivers, and blue hairs throughout the land, the Crown Vic is a universal "dad" car. And there's no one more conservative - some, like The Boy, would say "stupid harsh" - than dear ol' dad...

2. Cadillac DTS. More upscale than the 'Vic, the DTS is an ideological brother wrapped in leather. This is the CEO's car, an American icon that says, hey, I don't care that it needs to be maintained by a fleet of highly trained mechanics, it's the carmaker-of-choice in Goodfellas...

3. Hummer H2. More comfortable than it's militarily-derived brother H1, the H2 maintains the ginormous, Republicans-hate-Mother-Gaia contours of the most evil SUV ever made. Just don't forget: Republicans protect the environment - strip mining prevents forest fires!

4. Toyota Camry. Reliable. Inexpensive. Plant built in the US and staffed by non-union autoworkers - what could possibly be more American than that?

5. Ford F-150. Not all conservatives drive sedans; some prefer the towing and hauling options offered by a light-duty pick-up truck. With seating for up to six adults, V8 power, and 30+ years of being the #1 selling truck, it's a pretty conservative choice in its own right.

6. Chevrolet Suburban. Of course, no list of conservative vehicles would be complete without the official vehicle of Texas, right? I remember visiting our partners in San Antonio at my last job and remarking that something like every third vehicle was a 'Burban...

7. Honda Accord. Heck, this one makes the list purely on resale value alone. Nothing says fiscal reponsibility like a value-holdin' Accord (and please note I said "conservative", not "Republican"...)

8. Chrysler 300. Now, not the ones with the 22" rims and tinted windows so dark you don't need sunglasses; but the solid, boxy luxury car with 350 horsepower under the hood. Safe, secure, and can move like nobody's business when the rubber meets the road.

9. Ford Focus wagon. For the more, err, entry level conservative, the Focus wagon offers decent hauling capacity as well as good fuel economy. It's not much to look at, but it gets the job done day in and day out.

10. Chrysler K-car. Sure, the newest variant is over 20 years old, but the boxy shape and nostalgia alone help this homely little bastard make the list. The K-car is widely credited with helping Chrysler pull itself out of the hole it was in at the turn of the 1980s, and Lee Iacocca himself praised the little K car for helping fix Chrysler...

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On a side note, it was pretty easy to put together this week's list. Basically, I thought about what cars my friends and family drove and then extrapolated a little further. Feel free (as always) to jump in if you think I've missed one or if you disagree with a choice...

Just remember: There are no wrong answers, just stupid hippies.

That is all.