Brushing my teeth this morning, I noticed a couple of grey hairs poking out of my goatee. I'd like to say that I handled it with wisdom and grace, pausing for a moment to ponder my mortality before moving on. Perhaps I'd reflect on how far I've come from the fresh-faced college kid graduating out into the "real world", maybe crack wise about my children turning me grey. It would be a true sign of maturity to handle the physical manifestation of the ravages of time gracefully.
Instead, I grabbed the tweezers and ripped those fuckers out before they knew what hit 'em.
Oh hell no. I went bald at 22. There is no sodding way I am going to go gently into that grey night. I'll rip the sonsabitches out until they get too numerous, and then I will start painting 'em. I draw the line at grey hairs when I'm still in my damn thirties. In another couple of years, once I've stopped throwing the holy mother of all tantrums about turning forty, I'll revisit my staunch opposition to grey and possibly let them grow.
Or I might just buy a case or two of Grecian formula.
I'm hoping it's just an artifact of the past couple of weeks - there's been a lot of crap going on right now, a good chunk of it well beyond my control - and that once things even out a but there won't be any more grey for at least another 5-7 years. I've never been a big one on vanity (look no further than Jay-the-walrus with the man-boobs for that one!); however with the recent weight loss and "come to Jesus" moment on exercising, I'm starting to care more. And I don't want to be Jay Greybeard, thankyewverramuch...
It does appear, however, that having kids will age you much faster...
That is all.
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22 comments:
Hmmmm, and I just dyed my hair gray. Well, gray highlights, but still, you're pluckin' 'em out and I'm puttin' 'em in
It does appear, however, that having kids will age you much faster...
Yeah, the little rugrats do that.
Of course, women do that, too. My father likes to say that when he got married to Mom, he had hair and then lost it soon thereafter. Me, I got married in my late 30s, so I was already sporting a horseshoe up top (thanks, Grampa); however, I had no greys or whites. Guess who gets the blame? Yup, SWMBO.
Both SWMBO and Mom don't like it, which is why Dad & I keep it up. :>)
Ho, ho. Just wait, it gets much worse than grey hairs.
Like my mother used to say,"Getting old ain't for sissies."
Just wait until your pubies start turning gray. Then you'll really know you're old.
And shortly after that the high school girls will hold the door for you at the supermarket. When you tell them "thank you" they'll giggle and try to talk to you, making sure they're talking loudly into your "good ear".
You're gonna love it ;-)
And here I thought only women worried about stuff like that.
I always wondered how those "Grecian formula" and "Just for Men" companies stayed afloat.
Jay,
This week has certainly added to my grey but I started last year (and they're not grey but white and right in front where I part my hair.) I think you and I are about the same age. Come on over to "wisdom with age" and skip the dye.
Curt,
Believe me, if I wasn't bald it wouldn't bother me in the least.
But dammit, I've looked like I was 40 since the time I was 20.
I'll be damned if I'm going to look 60 before I'm 40...
Besides, so what if I'm in touch with my feminine side? Not that there's anything wrong with that...
;)
It's not the gray that bugs me, it's the mutant hairs that sprout overnight in my eyebrows, nose and ears that really frighten me.
It's like all the hairs that AREN'T growing on my head get together and make one monster super-follicle.
Geez man, just let it grow. I've got greys now too to add to my black, brown and some reds. I'm not going to pull my reds out just to get rid of the "Irish" in me. If I did that, I'd have to give up beer.
Hell man, just give up... If you keep plucking, you'll be down to no beard either :-)
Come on over and join us old farts :-)
Jeez, Jay - what's wrong with being a Greybeard?
You wound me, sir!
Pansy.
At 26 I am half bald, and what is left is half grey.
Grow up already ;).
Think of all the stupid sh*t you did as a teenager.....Now think of your Father...Now think....JUSTICE.
I am doing more and having more fun than when I was younger. There is a reason Eastern cultures value older members of society. Embrace the gray, grasshopper!
Sorry, old man.
Old age is an evil bitch that sneaks up on all of us. Of course, the rugrats do help accelerate the process.
One of my eyebrows went grey/white about 15 years ago. Nothing I did ever got it back to normal color. One side benefit was that it gave me that maniacal, evil, don’t jack with me look.
Enjoy the grey (silver). According to tribal customs, that makes you one of the elders…
Don't worry, gaffer: us young (looking) folks will wipe up your drool, and won't push your wheelchair down the nursinghome stairs TOO often... >:)
Jay.
Jay, Jay, Jay.
I am younger than you and have a very large white stripe in my hair along with quite a bit of gray sprinkled throughout.
And I'm a CHICK.
So shut up. :P
Shave your entire head and face. I do it. Exactly one grooming instrument (the razor.) NO worries about what color any shaved air might have been. No need for shampoo.
And when your eyebrows turn grey, that WILL look distinguished and powerful, so don't sweat it.
Pansy.=======================>>
I yield to the obvious facial hair seniority, Hunter...
About that grey, I started loosing hair at 17, started going grey at 22, held on to some brown/red beard while the hair disappeared, now the top is bare, the sides are white, and the beard is marvelous.
At 52.
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