(CNN) -- Pat Robertson, the evangelical Christian who once suggested God was punishing Americans with Hurricane Katrina, says a "pact to the devil" brought on the devastating earthquake in Haiti.[Cut to: Jay staring at his computer screen, mouth agape in abject horror] What the hell??? Here's what this bozo is claiming:
Officials fear more than 100,000 people have died as a result of Tuesday's 7.0-magnitude earthquake in Haiti.
The Haitians "were under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon III and whatever," Robertson said on his broadcast Wednesday. "And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.' True story. And so, the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal.' "Please, someone, anyone, please tell me that I missed the link to "The Onion". This has got to be a joke. This has got to be one of the dumbest things I have ever heard, and I live in the Volksrepublik of Massachusetts. Robertson has either gone off his meds entirely, or started dipping into the Wowie sauce a little too heavily, ifyannowhattamean...
Either that or Robertson is planning a new online information service called Pulled-from-my-ass-ipedia...
That is all.
9 comments:
The man is an embarrassment to Christians. He should be ashamed.
Make that an embarrassment to humanity, and decent people everywhere.
Pat Roberson wouldn't make a scab on a good man's a**.
forget visions, this guy's the real thing. A genuine 900-foot ass.
Weird. That was 200 years ago. Does he think that the Lord is that slow on the uptake?
I'd bet the guys over at The Onion are quite tired of the phone calls forcing them to say they didn't write that story.
That'd be pretty bad, wouldn't it? "Yeah, we here at The Onion couldn't even make that up. However, we've sent Mr. Robertson a request for resume and an application for employment."
WV: cation - as in, use 'cation' when accusing God of smiting stuff. There's a Boston joke there, somewhere...
tweaker
Way to advance the cause, Robertson. Just when the noise from your last gaffe dies down, you have to go ahead and open your trap again, and I have to explain to my non-believing friends that no, you don't represent all Christians and yes, the Christians I know think you're a kook too.
Now if only God would do some Oral Roberts-ian extortion and call him home...
14 August 1791, houngan Dutty Boukman performed a vodou ritual at Bois Caiman which called upon the Lwas to overthrow the French slave owners. Pigs were slaughtered, blood was drunk, people danced themselves into frenzies.
The usual.
It is widely considered to be the start of the Haitian Revolution, and the Haitians are quite proud of the events at Bwa Kayiman
LawDog
Post a Comment